The word "parent", goes simultaneously alongside the word "guilt" but I don't intend to get into that right now suffice to say that I am sure I am not the last or first mother on earth who feels a little guilty that number 2 child sometimes gets a little overlooked.
This holiday my number one plan was to help him with his reading. He is sounding out three letter words and more, but unlike Master Beehive, the elder, who had my undivided attention when learning this newfound skill, MB, the younger, is at somewhat of a disadvantage what with his elder brother needing help with his various activities and his baby sister vying for my attention whenever I even so much as attempt to sit down with him (or sit down per se!)
Today we dropped him off at the YMCA camp - first day of it. On backing out of my space a rather impatient driver decided to shoot around the side of the car waiting for my space in order to get in first, but in the meantime, blocking my exit - Twonk! Whether my daughter read my mind or sensed my bristles, she yells in great glee: "Bloody Car"!! Oh too many times do I say that!!!!!aggh!
After picking him up, LMB was occupied trying to bring down invisible aliens with a walkie talkie, dinner was nicely cooking in the oven, all was calm. I decided this was an ideal opportunity to help him read. Eagerly he rushed off to fetch one of many Oxford Reading Tree books that we posess (these ex-teachers!!) desperate to show me how well he could read. I was actually quite amazed at how much the "hands off" approach has worked for this wee man. Either osmosis is an excellent form of aquiring knowledge and skill, or he has been reading with Daddy each night without my knowledge. However, he does stand out from his elder brother in his ability to take semantic cues to a new meaning.
"He put in milk.
He put in Tomato Sauce.
He put in Baked Boogers" ???????
I think (hope) he meant Beans! But only MB, the younger, could have thought of this one so fast!
Monday, July 23, 2007
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Things to do before you die!
Finally I am back in the land of the living!
My nightmare has come true! The epilogue leak I read on t'interweb, the one where I was ready to fly to the UK and personally bop JK on the head..........was the real McCoy - the end is CHEEEEEEEEEEEESE - sorry JK, I know you had your audiences, who are probably far softer than I, but I promise you, my ending was far better!!
Anyway, having stood for 2 hours in the line on Saturday morning to get my copy, I am finally back in the land of the living having gotten half way through (the rest of the book, however, is amazing!) But, NEVER, NEVER again will I go to any bloody book launch !! Still, at least now I can tick it off the list of "things to do before you die" however, had I stood there much longer, I think my list title could have been changed to "things to do as you die!"
Do you have a list? I used to have a things to do before I am 30, which had to extend to 40........now I think I will be lucky if I fit it all in before I pop off!
T'was a rough day yesterday in the Beehive. Master Beehive, the elder, was walking around in a state of living dead having forced himself to come along with me to the event, despite my better judgement.
At one point we were shopping at Whole Foods, he sat on the floor on the fruit and veg aisle, silently weeping and convincing the employee who was trying to find out what was wrong, about my status as an unfit parent - keeping my child up until the wee small hours, then dragging him, uncaringly, around a supermarket, probably feeding him coke and donuts for breakfast too whilst I swigged a beer or two! Too bad it was all self induced!!
It was actually Master Beehive the younger's birthday so we were really on the search for a cake to surprise him as he was under the impression he was only having one at his party - next weekend!
We took him to lunch to celebrate at our local Japanese haunt (his request, not ours I hasten to add) during which time Master Beehive, the elder, was really struggling to hold it all together and tantrums, his and mine, were beginning to bubble.
Later that evening we were due to go out to some friends' house. I was trying to talk myself out of going. The thought of making conversation with my eyes sealed together wasn't exactly appealing. They were having a Super Duper Weenie party !! They had hired a Hot Dog truck complete with staff (actually the guy who runs it is a gourmet chef and owns a restaurant, all the stuff is homemade, so the sausages were actually meat rather than regurgitated filling bits and stuff from the floor!) The babysitter arrived an hour early - ??! and I wasn't so sure I could pull through another few more hours before the comfort of my own bed.
Still, we made it, Mr Beehive was fed Chilli dogs and a New England all in, watered a few beers and made his own ice cream sundae (we weren't allowed to leave before this point - you know the phrase - kid in a candy store - sod their age!) this truly was a party for Big Kids!
Finally I was allowed to crawl back under my covers for a steamy hot date with that (rather cute!!) 17 year old wizard.
Oh, and ...........yeah - that's me!
Right! But it's on my list *wink*
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Competition in the village!
The week in the Beehive is proving to be somewhat obsessed. Friday, as you know, is release night and if you need to ask "what release night?" you have either:
Been living on a space station for the last year
Wear a paperbag perpetually on your head
Are a member of the outer lying islands of the Wingawonga tribe in the Straits of Liygong.
Or something of that effect!
I have promised to take Master Beehive the elder and a schoolmate to the release party at our local bookshop, this has all come about from our school auction earlier this year, where our offering was an HP night for "one lucky winner" courtesy of the Beehive. So we are preparing Unicorn stew and Dementor dogs and Looneylovegood slush as we speak and I have found an outlet and soul mate for my crazed theories on "what is going to happen"!
Today we have been shopping for wands, as is normal in everyday suburbia in America! Unfortunately I have been let down by an online shop whom I would LOVE to out right now, but am not going to be that vindictive. They have, I can only guess, been overwhelmed by demand and now can't cope, but as they don't answer e-mails or the phone, all this is speculation. So last minute wand shopping it was.
En route to the "wand emporium" we have deposited Master Beehive the elder at his magic class, followed by maths. Each day, religiously he has donned his magician's cape, packed his snack up and tricks for an hour of tutoring in the art of disappearing rabbits and changing dollar bills into plain paper -shame no one has taught him that the other way around!!
Today I found myself having to reprimand myself.
You probably know how it is as a parent that, much as we like to claim we don't, most of us at one time or another have an unbridled judgement of another's parenting skills. It starts in early parenting as competitiveness, you know the things - my baby walked before yours so is therefore going to be an olympic runner, my baby talked before yours and the Nobel Prize 2053 already has his/her name on it!!!!!! only to manifest through later, more experienced parenting as judgement!!!!!
I, in fact, only had this conversation with a friend yesterday. Her son has taken to hitting and beating up (her words, not mine!) other kids if they have a toy he wants (he's just one mind!!) and she was recounting the times she would sit at friend's houses with her daughter watching other friend's children do the same as her son, whilst she would sit surrounded by the light of her judgemental halo!!!
I like to think I am not overly judgemental in general, we are all different, with different approaches etc.........life is, but I am human and know, even if I don't always voice them as I am doing now, (and they may not necessarily be parenting related) have that feeling of "well, if you had only done it this way........or I wouldn't have done that" a kind of "smugmum" moment! yak! Correct or otherwise.
It always tends to be strangers who set my inner demon off too, rather than people I know. I feel I can empathise with my friends because I know them and their children and more often than not AM them in that very same situation.........
Stay with me if you will, this morning I am following in a mom with three kids in tow, two of whom are about to do battle. I have, not two minutes ago heard this same poor mum speak to one of the children about not telling tales on the others..........Calmly she asks them to stop fighting........they don't.........she repeats...........they ignore...........now here comes the bit that sparked my demon.....
"if you don't stop, I will tell your teacher".........ad infinitum all the way up the corridor "I'll tell him"..........see where I am going?
So little gremlin smugmum with (for today and this moment in time!!) beautifully cooperating children, is silently in my head screaming - "monkey see, monkey do, you are telling on them......aggghh"
Feeling selfrightiously that this is my prize for the tantrum on Monday morning in the supermarket!
Back in the car having successfully squashed the gremlin I am reminded of earlier this morning shouting at Mr Beehive the elder to stop shouting..............oops!!!
Lesson to self - MUST TRY HARDER lol - dontcha just love parenting!!!!!!
So, back to my week of normality, I am driving home with Little Miss Beehive after dropping Master Beehive, the younger, at his art class for an hour, I notice that the signs are up for our local agricultural show. Momentarily I am struck by a genuine sense of dismay that we will in fact be away for the show this year.......Oh me, Oh my, what is a girl to do? No jam or photos in the show this year - the demon is rising again.........that competitive streak......
Village life has just risen up and bitten me hard on the bum!
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
There's no place like home, there's no place like home......
It is only 7.21 in the morning, but I know that the Beehive will not disappoint me for entertainment value again.
It starts at 1.20am this morning by a small troubled Beehive who needs me *now* to find his bag full of powder. Still very very dazed and groggy I haven't yet managed to put two and two together and realise that he is half asleep himself, there is no such bag, he has been dreaming. Removing my head from the underside of his bed when the dawning strikes, I encourage him back into bed reassuring him that we will look for it in the morning.
By 6.15am I am awoken again - and remove myself rather suddenly from the warmth of Dan's chest.....*shite, did I say that outloud??* - by Mr Beehive getting up for work. Darn!
Doing a mental check through what I can remember for the day's plans before I hit the real world entirely, I realise that some serious ironing will have to be done before I can find shorts to wear - I love having company at weekends, but unfortunately my manservant tends not to iron for me!
Sleepily, I shower, get semi-dressed and go downstairs to commence work ironing and boiling eggs for a picnic at the beach later.
On arrival at the kitchen I am greeted by Mr Beehive the elder, dressed as a magician (with Pirate pants???), eating cereal and with his ready packed lunchbox and wand beside him!!!!!! (there is actually method to his madness, he is doing a course at the middle school in magic this week - lots of fun I gather!!!)
Little Miss Beehive is singing the ABC song at the top of her voice both are eating breakfast. Master Beehive the younger has yet to make an appearance and is still snoring.
Standing by the ironing board in my bra and knickers, I happily realise today is totally normal!!!!!!!
Must dash, my kitchen timer has just rung - the eggs!!
Enjoy your day
Yours normally
The Beehive
Post script:
By 8.20am I have hung out the washing, put on another load, chased one child around the house with her clothes whilst attempting to hold an MSN conversation with my sister, picked up wet washing from the mud to re-wash that the same child "helped" me hang out (bugger Montessori), run around the garden after the dog with a croc in his mouth trying to convince him to drop it (bugger those crocs!), sorted the recycling and retrieved cutlery from it (thanks LMB!), fed the dog, re-fed the dog as I forgot LMB had already done it as it is "her chore" for this week (bugger being organised!), attempted to boil the eggs on the back burner by turning on the front burner for 10 minutes so have had to re-boil (bugger, bugger, bugger!)......
Monday, July 16, 2007
So what's your theory then?
Last night Mr Beehive and myself went to see the new Harry Potter film. Quite what has happened to the now incredibly lush Daniel (or Dan as he prefers to be called!) Radcliffe beggars belief. He has beefed up - quite nicely thank you and I occasionally found myself thinking some rather naughty Mrs Robinson thoughts about him at intermittent intervals. Dan - wear MORE t-shirts!!!!!
Anyway, I digress ! Whilst on our way, Mr Beehive tries to engage in some light conversation - silly man - wrong topic. So for the record this what I think happens in book 7
JK has already told us she has to kill off two main characters and reprieves one whom she didn't think would get a reprieval. As we already know, HP or Voldemort has to die. JK has also talked about finishing off HP as a way of preventing further stories from the series being created later by others. You know, I really think that she is safe in this department. I think that there are so many fans of her and her story out there that even if someone did try, it wouldn't get the audiences. Based on that I don't think Harry dies. I think Neville does. I believe that he plays a big part in this in the end as a way of avenging his parents. JK has successfully drawn us in to liking this quiet, shy, bumbling boy who has a disturbed past. He is desperate to prove himself and to seek revenge for the Cruciatus curse that was performed by Bellatrix Lestrange on his parents. I think she will kill him but not before he has killed her. The other character will come from the triange that is Snape, HP and Voldemort. We know V will have to go and I think that Snape will be the other. He "killed" Dumbledore - so did he? We know he performed the Adava Kedavra but this could have been staged intentionally to draw Voldemort close to Harry. Also I think this was a way of getting Snape back in to Voldemort to act as a spy for Dumbledore's side. I think he is going to be good in the end. Perhaps this is just my way of finding good in everyone lol! I still don't have any idea who RAB is, perhaps Regulas Black, Sirius' brother? and haven't worked out how this person who has already taken the first Horcrux fits in. It has crossed my mind that there is some opposing magic going on, that maybe Dumbledore has staged his own death and that maybe he was/is a Horcrux ? Or that maybe he comes back in some form or other, after all, he burst into flames at the funeral just like a Phoenix and his patronus is a Phoenix - I think there is more to this than meets the eye. If Snape IS foe, why was Dumbledore protecting him? Why did Dumbledore seem concerned that HP was okay in the Goblet of Fire - somethings are all a little bizarre.
Check this out: www.the-leaky-cauldron.org There are some great thoughts on there!!
So, just in case I am right in my crazed theory and should have put a bet on the bookies, you can tell your friends that you got this info from:
The girl who knows!!!!!!!
Anyway, I digress ! Whilst on our way, Mr Beehive tries to engage in some light conversation - silly man - wrong topic. So for the record this what I think happens in book 7
JK has already told us she has to kill off two main characters and reprieves one whom she didn't think would get a reprieval. As we already know, HP or Voldemort has to die. JK has also talked about finishing off HP as a way of preventing further stories from the series being created later by others. You know, I really think that she is safe in this department. I think that there are so many fans of her and her story out there that even if someone did try, it wouldn't get the audiences. Based on that I don't think Harry dies. I think Neville does. I believe that he plays a big part in this in the end as a way of avenging his parents. JK has successfully drawn us in to liking this quiet, shy, bumbling boy who has a disturbed past. He is desperate to prove himself and to seek revenge for the Cruciatus curse that was performed by Bellatrix Lestrange on his parents. I think she will kill him but not before he has killed her. The other character will come from the triange that is Snape, HP and Voldemort. We know V will have to go and I think that Snape will be the other. He "killed" Dumbledore - so did he? We know he performed the Adava Kedavra but this could have been staged intentionally to draw Voldemort close to Harry. Also I think this was a way of getting Snape back in to Voldemort to act as a spy for Dumbledore's side. I think he is going to be good in the end. Perhaps this is just my way of finding good in everyone lol! I still don't have any idea who RAB is, perhaps Regulas Black, Sirius' brother? and haven't worked out how this person who has already taken the first Horcrux fits in. It has crossed my mind that there is some opposing magic going on, that maybe Dumbledore has staged his own death and that maybe he was/is a Horcrux ? Or that maybe he comes back in some form or other, after all, he burst into flames at the funeral just like a Phoenix and his patronus is a Phoenix - I think there is more to this than meets the eye. If Snape IS foe, why was Dumbledore protecting him? Why did Dumbledore seem concerned that HP was okay in the Goblet of Fire - somethings are all a little bizarre.
Check this out: www.the-leaky-cauldron.org There are some great thoughts on there!!
So, just in case I am right in my crazed theory and should have put a bet on the bookies, you can tell your friends that you got this info from:
The girl who knows!!!!!!!
Saturday, July 14, 2007
The German comes to tea
Iced that is!
We are already well down the route of alcohol, but she is "allergic" to alcohol - poor bint, so instead we are subjected to putting the world to rights via Newman's iced lemondade tea!!!!!!!!!
So the Beehive and the Branchline are sitting enjoying the outdoors when we are alerted to life on the "real"side by a "holy shit" following a chorus of coyotes who are, to put a finer point on it, singing for their supper!!
Feeling the need for my inner child to emerge, I ask her to join us for a drink as she is:
a. Worried about the "wolves"
b. halfway on our garden anyway
c. in need of a stiff glass of something alcofrolic!!!
Fast forward a couple of hours and I appear to be solely entertaining whilst Mr Beehive and Mr Branchline are reminiscing and Mrs Branchline has fallen off the bandwagon and gone to bed. Feck! Mrs Beehive has to chat civilly to crazy next door neighbor - after her wonderful accolades to local landscape gardeners a few weeks back about us being vindictive neighbors for asking her to turn off the mower at 5am on a Sunday morning - bad dog - down boy!
After a few hours of putting the world to rights - hmmm??? I need to pee or pee through the cushion I am sitting on!!!!!!!!! Master Beehive the elder has ejected from his bed to ours, Mrs NextdoorthatisFARTOOMUCHINFORMATIONneighbourIreally
don'twanttohearaboutyour68yearoldboyfriendinOhio
has finally gotten the hint and gone home!!!!!!!!!!!!
Problem is - by her own confession, she LIKEs to Mow !! Rather like my mother who LIKES to iron!! It is 11.00pm, pitch black. Sorry, no excuses - she is NUTS!!!!!!!!!!! and we tried!!!!!!!
We are already well down the route of alcohol, but she is "allergic" to alcohol - poor bint, so instead we are subjected to putting the world to rights via Newman's iced lemondade tea!!!!!!!!!
So the Beehive and the Branchline are sitting enjoying the outdoors when we are alerted to life on the "real"side by a "holy shit" following a chorus of coyotes who are, to put a finer point on it, singing for their supper!!
Feeling the need for my inner child to emerge, I ask her to join us for a drink as she is:
a. Worried about the "wolves"
b. halfway on our garden anyway
c. in need of a stiff glass of something alcofrolic!!!
Fast forward a couple of hours and I appear to be solely entertaining whilst Mr Beehive and Mr Branchline are reminiscing and Mrs Branchline has fallen off the bandwagon and gone to bed. Feck! Mrs Beehive has to chat civilly to crazy next door neighbor - after her wonderful accolades to local landscape gardeners a few weeks back about us being vindictive neighbors for asking her to turn off the mower at 5am on a Sunday morning - bad dog - down boy!
After a few hours of putting the world to rights - hmmm??? I need to pee or pee through the cushion I am sitting on!!!!!!!!! Master Beehive the elder has ejected from his bed to ours, Mrs NextdoorthatisFARTOOMUCHINFORMATIONneighbourIreally
don'twanttohearaboutyour68yearoldboyfriendinOhio
has finally gotten the hint and gone home!!!!!!!!!!!!
Problem is - by her own confession, she LIKEs to Mow !! Rather like my mother who LIKES to iron!! It is 11.00pm, pitch black. Sorry, no excuses - she is NUTS!!!!!!!!!!! and we tried!!!!!!!
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Give me strength!
Funnily, I did have a feeling it was going to be one of those weeks at The Beehive after Mr Beehive chose to have a premature rehearsal for Halloween this week and try out his Vlad the Impaler costume (or perhaps that should read - Vlad the ImpaLED!).
Fast forward to Monday morning, the boys are doing enrichment programmes this week at the local middle school and, due to life being easy and simple (NOT!) Master Beehive the elder's programme starts half an hour before Master Beehive the younger's. So what to do in the spare 30 mins?? Well, the list of errands was endless and achieving some of it was all within my grasp - oh but for such a short time.
Start at go, recieve $200:
First off, killing two birds with one stone (such a fool am I!), Town Hall, Dog license renewal and a car pass for the recycling plant. If successful get 60 bonus points and return to Middle school without hitch within alloted time span.
Not to be: problem number one: last year's license showed the incorrect expiry for the dog's rabies shot so of course a call to the vet was in order......lose five minutes from the sand jar. Town hall recycling problem as pass requires car reg. which then requires my exiting the building to retrieve this with smalls in tow, thus losing another 5 minutes of my time. So take forms as alternative to return in post at own convenience (add one bonus point for initiative!) Time remains unaltered!
Back into car - record time, 10 minutes to get back to the Middle school - perfect as it is only 3 minutes drive. Sit patiently at red light behind another car to pull out of junction. Watch jerk with exceedingly long trailer and no patience pull into the intersection and block it during green on our side. Swear under breath and do nothing but wait for this to rectify. Man in front obviously in far more of a hurry tries to pull infront of said van and trailer, realises he can't so thus reverses at speed in irritation, without looking..........yes, you've guessed it........into me! Go directly to Police Station, Do not Pass Go, Do not receive $200 and lose all your remaining time in the jar!
Feckity feck!
Fortunately kids are fine, car is actually fine, attitude of twonk in the car in front is not but as it has all been observed by police man (we were in the police car park - bigger twonk!) it is all sorted with apologies (of blustering British force - yes, of all the Yanks in all of CT, I get a Brit put his tush in my face!!!!!!!)
Today can't be get worse, mwahhaahaahaa *evil laugh*!!!!
This morning Little Miss Beehive has woken up as Violet Elizabeth Bott!!
It is 93 degrees here - externally, but after a quick dash into the supermarket whilst boys were successfully at classes, it became 93 internally for me!
She wanted to hold the bread - OPEN! ON THE CART and the FLOOR! Sometimes there just has to be a "No"
She could have held the pasta, the cheese? The Tomatoes? No, it had to be her little fingers on the bread and then the bread loose on the cart!! and my god, she wanted to the world to know what a bitch I was for not letting her do this.
Become a fly if you will on this supermarket wall. Today, of all days, I chose the up market supermarket in town, you know the one, with the ladies with pink rinses, DINKY's, business men and the one mother in there aside from me had four, yes FOUR bloody angels with her and a smug grin ggrrrr!!
I am pushing around this massive fuck off car trolley for my six piddly items because I felt in a "happy mummy" mood when I started, no one had crashed into me yet today, the kids had played wonderfully together earlier, so I could cope with apologising for a few scraped ankles and tins off the shelf to allow my sweetie the opportunity to ride in a car trolley, which I normally say no to because we are:
a. in a massive hurry
b. I've got the boys with me too, so of course it only seats two and then a fight ensues as to who gets to sit in it.
c. I can't cope with the extra 80lbs of trolley to push around (these buggers are HEAVY!)
I knew that to the outsider I had already lost this. Be warned parents of tantruming children - you will NEVER look good in this situation however you handle it. Here is the Beehive guide to tantrums in public:
1. If I try to reason with her and try to comfort her (which is where I start - distraction, giving her another item to hold etc) the tantrum gets louder. This fits the inexperienced parent of one , doesn't know what to do and hasn't read enough parenting manuals yet category. This mother will be greeted with sympathetic noises from onlookers.
2. If I give in - she gets the message that she can throw wobblies and get what she wants - I fit the category of the pathetic parenting tribe - those who don't discipline and have unruly kids. This group of parents gets tutted by those who have seen, and ignored by those who have not (because the tantrum is over!)
3. If I ignore her - she continues to yell and scream. Now I am in the category of uncaring parent and social outcast. I know she will calm down e v e n t u a l l y.
I have explained to her why she can't have x and that she can have y as an alternative. This is the worst category to be in - people stare, tut, mutter under their breath and even offer opinions as to how I should discipline her!
4. The final category is rather limiting - it means that one can probably never return to the Pink Rinse Store which in a small town does mean that you may eventually be limited (or even fairly quickly!) to the local Kwiklidlkostsave that only sells blue and pink food and coke!
But it involves having no real need for the food that you are rushing in fo in your only free five minutes in the week, leaving your trolley with food in it in exactly the place the tantrum explodes and exiting the store with (preferably!) screaming child and irrate staff!
Take your pick - I am sure there are many more options. I tend to start with 1 and then move to 3 and back to 1 when she eventually calms down and I can give her a hug. I would LOVE to know other people's solutions to this one!!!
Fast forward to Monday morning, the boys are doing enrichment programmes this week at the local middle school and, due to life being easy and simple (NOT!) Master Beehive the elder's programme starts half an hour before Master Beehive the younger's. So what to do in the spare 30 mins?? Well, the list of errands was endless and achieving some of it was all within my grasp - oh but for such a short time.
Start at go, recieve $200:
First off, killing two birds with one stone (such a fool am I!), Town Hall, Dog license renewal and a car pass for the recycling plant. If successful get 60 bonus points and return to Middle school without hitch within alloted time span.
Not to be: problem number one: last year's license showed the incorrect expiry for the dog's rabies shot so of course a call to the vet was in order......lose five minutes from the sand jar. Town hall recycling problem as pass requires car reg. which then requires my exiting the building to retrieve this with smalls in tow, thus losing another 5 minutes of my time. So take forms as alternative to return in post at own convenience (add one bonus point for initiative!) Time remains unaltered!
Back into car - record time, 10 minutes to get back to the Middle school - perfect as it is only 3 minutes drive. Sit patiently at red light behind another car to pull out of junction. Watch jerk with exceedingly long trailer and no patience pull into the intersection and block it during green on our side. Swear under breath and do nothing but wait for this to rectify. Man in front obviously in far more of a hurry tries to pull infront of said van and trailer, realises he can't so thus reverses at speed in irritation, without looking..........yes, you've guessed it........into me! Go directly to Police Station, Do not Pass Go, Do not receive $200 and lose all your remaining time in the jar!
Feckity feck!
Fortunately kids are fine, car is actually fine, attitude of twonk in the car in front is not but as it has all been observed by police man (we were in the police car park - bigger twonk!) it is all sorted with apologies (of blustering British force - yes, of all the Yanks in all of CT, I get a Brit put his tush in my face!!!!!!!)
Today can't be get worse, mwahhaahaahaa *evil laugh*!!!!
This morning Little Miss Beehive has woken up as Violet Elizabeth Bott!!
It is 93 degrees here - externally, but after a quick dash into the supermarket whilst boys were successfully at classes, it became 93 internally for me!
She wanted to hold the bread - OPEN! ON THE CART and the FLOOR! Sometimes there just has to be a "No"
She could have held the pasta, the cheese? The Tomatoes? No, it had to be her little fingers on the bread and then the bread loose on the cart!! and my god, she wanted to the world to know what a bitch I was for not letting her do this.
Become a fly if you will on this supermarket wall. Today, of all days, I chose the up market supermarket in town, you know the one, with the ladies with pink rinses, DINKY's, business men and the one mother in there aside from me had four, yes FOUR bloody angels with her and a smug grin ggrrrr!!
I am pushing around this massive fuck off car trolley for my six piddly items because I felt in a "happy mummy" mood when I started, no one had crashed into me yet today, the kids had played wonderfully together earlier, so I could cope with apologising for a few scraped ankles and tins off the shelf to allow my sweetie the opportunity to ride in a car trolley, which I normally say no to because we are:
a. in a massive hurry
b. I've got the boys with me too, so of course it only seats two and then a fight ensues as to who gets to sit in it.
c. I can't cope with the extra 80lbs of trolley to push around (these buggers are HEAVY!)
I knew that to the outsider I had already lost this. Be warned parents of tantruming children - you will NEVER look good in this situation however you handle it. Here is the Beehive guide to tantrums in public:
1. If I try to reason with her and try to comfort her (which is where I start - distraction, giving her another item to hold etc) the tantrum gets louder. This fits the inexperienced parent of one , doesn't know what to do and hasn't read enough parenting manuals yet category. This mother will be greeted with sympathetic noises from onlookers.
2. If I give in - she gets the message that she can throw wobblies and get what she wants - I fit the category of the pathetic parenting tribe - those who don't discipline and have unruly kids. This group of parents gets tutted by those who have seen, and ignored by those who have not (because the tantrum is over!)
3. If I ignore her - she continues to yell and scream. Now I am in the category of uncaring parent and social outcast. I know she will calm down e v e n t u a l l y.
I have explained to her why she can't have x and that she can have y as an alternative. This is the worst category to be in - people stare, tut, mutter under their breath and even offer opinions as to how I should discipline her!
4. The final category is rather limiting - it means that one can probably never return to the Pink Rinse Store which in a small town does mean that you may eventually be limited (or even fairly quickly!) to the local Kwiklidlkostsave that only sells blue and pink food and coke!
But it involves having no real need for the food that you are rushing in fo in your only free five minutes in the week, leaving your trolley with food in it in exactly the place the tantrum explodes and exiting the store with (preferably!) screaming child and irrate staff!
Take your pick - I am sure there are many more options. I tend to start with 1 and then move to 3 and back to 1 when she eventually calms down and I can give her a hug. I would LOVE to know other people's solutions to this one!!!
From your tap!!Saturday, July 07, 2007
Emergency!! The doctor has to belch!
There is nothing like a day that is full of drama in the Beehive and today is like no other. We are having friends around this afternoon so.......putting off clearing out the shed yet again (after all, why do today, what you can put off until tomorrow!). That said, we decided last minute that the gravel we had stored in there from last year would be better placed surpressing the remaining weeds under the Hibiscus tree on the patio. So.....*feeling a little guilty here, but not TOO much as it is primarily Mr Beehive's domain and thus his chaos* I asked for them so I could spread them out.
A simple task one might think, but not so. Venturing into the valley of disarray, Mr Beehive willingly obliged.
One minute we were laughing about the volume from our neighbour on her latest rant at her latest tenant, the next he is joining her in wails and screams, managing to successfully impale himself on the barbecue fork that he has left facing outwards at calf level (hmm, of course you can't really hear the slight - whaddiditellya, in that last sentence can you??)
Fortunately, he managed to miss his arteries (I am sure there must be some big ones down there!) and the actual hole was a puncture rather than a large cut requiring stitches, but there was blood.
Master Beehive, the elder, the guy who hides behind the sofa in Nemo disappeared pronto, Master Beehive the younger, however, proved to be such a great help. He helped apply a firm compress to the wound so it stopped bleeding and helped me to put a bandage around his daddy's leg - my paternal grandfather would have been proud!!
On completion of the job in hand (no, not the gravel - I have still to send him back out to do that *insert wicked laugh*!! - kidding of course!) I told Master Beehive the younger, how great a help he was and what a great doctor he would make.
"Really?" he asked "can I be a doctor?"
"Yes, if you work hard, you can go to medical school."
Grinning from ear to ear he rushes off to find his brother to tell him this "wonderful news"!!
Five minutes later, he is back
"Are doctors allowed to burp?" he asked in all seriousness
"Well, not out loud in front of patients" says I
"Okay, I'll only burp inside my mouth then."
OMG - please if he ever fulfils this dream, just don't tell me if he is ever YOUR doctor!!!
A simple task one might think, but not so. Venturing into the valley of disarray, Mr Beehive willingly obliged.
One minute we were laughing about the volume from our neighbour on her latest rant at her latest tenant, the next he is joining her in wails and screams, managing to successfully impale himself on the barbecue fork that he has left facing outwards at calf level (hmm, of course you can't really hear the slight - whaddiditellya, in that last sentence can you??)
Fortunately, he managed to miss his arteries (I am sure there must be some big ones down there!) and the actual hole was a puncture rather than a large cut requiring stitches, but there was blood.
Master Beehive, the elder, the guy who hides behind the sofa in Nemo disappeared pronto, Master Beehive the younger, however, proved to be such a great help. He helped apply a firm compress to the wound so it stopped bleeding and helped me to put a bandage around his daddy's leg - my paternal grandfather would have been proud!!
On completion of the job in hand (no, not the gravel - I have still to send him back out to do that *insert wicked laugh*!! - kidding of course!) I told Master Beehive the younger, how great a help he was and what a great doctor he would make.
"Really?" he asked "can I be a doctor?"
"Yes, if you work hard, you can go to medical school."
Grinning from ear to ear he rushes off to find his brother to tell him this "wonderful news"!!
Five minutes later, he is back
"Are doctors allowed to burp?" he asked in all seriousness
"Well, not out loud in front of patients" says I
"Okay, I'll only burp inside my mouth then."
OMG - please if he ever fulfils this dream, just don't tell me if he is ever YOUR doctor!!!
Friday, July 06, 2007
Why Don't You..........
It is hot and muggy today and the children, after Tae Kwon Do and a trip to the ice cream shop have decided to flake out with a story on a CD. I have therefore had time to pick up my e-mails, realise I have missed my sister on MSN (again!), take some photos of the scrap books that the boys are making and do this............
Google "(your name) needs" and then pick best five that come back and give your response to that (someone mailed me this idea - I am not THAT bored or in need of escape just yet!) so here goes:
"Rach needs"
1. To do something that's interesting.
Hmmm, well this was kinda interesting but then again each to their own I guess.
2. heeeeelllllllp.........
Big brother is watching me!
3. To sing live
Well I have always been a closet diva, the most I ever extended to live were school and uni productions (think Pirates of Penzance and Grease!!!) and karaoke!! Since then I have packed up my hairbrush for other ventures!!
4. To wear her wwjd bracelet
Okay, so I think this stands for "what would J do". But who the hell J is, maybe I can just invent that bit? Jamie Oliver? Jools Holland? Jo Brand (fuck only knows what SHE would do!!) I think we can safely say this is not something i need right now
5. To be hunted and exorcised
That is a little harsh and I can't say I like the idea and ditto above!
Right time to go - the sky has gone yellow, the leaves are blowing the indications that a storm is coming, I need to go and clear up outside and get my life sorted out!!!!!!!!!
Gibberingly yours
The Beehive!
Google "(your name) needs" and then pick best five that come back and give your response to that (someone mailed me this idea - I am not THAT bored or in need of escape just yet!) so here goes:
"Rach needs"
1. To do something that's interesting.
Hmmm, well this was kinda interesting but then again each to their own I guess.
2. heeeeelllllllp.........
Big brother is watching me!
3. To sing live
Well I have always been a closet diva, the most I ever extended to live were school and uni productions (think Pirates of Penzance and Grease!!!) and karaoke!! Since then I have packed up my hairbrush for other ventures!!
4. To wear her wwjd bracelet
Okay, so I think this stands for "what would J do". But who the hell J is, maybe I can just invent that bit? Jamie Oliver? Jools Holland? Jo Brand (fuck only knows what SHE would do!!) I think we can safely say this is not something i need right now
5. To be hunted and exorcised
That is a little harsh and I can't say I like the idea and ditto above!
Right time to go - the sky has gone yellow, the leaves are blowing the indications that a storm is coming, I need to go and clear up outside and get my life sorted out!!!!!!!!!
Gibberingly yours
The Beehive!
Thursday, July 05, 2007
A recipe for Tomato Soup
Little Master Beehive, the younger, as you may already know, is a vegephobe. He is on a diet of no-green things (or red, orange, brown, yellow) that resemble a veg until he is at least 7 !! However, for some reason, beknown only to the workings of his free spirited mind.....he LOVES tomato soup - which is good of course! He will eat it home made or the nice organic one I get from Wild Oats - hoorah!
So on helping choose today's lunch - he asked for his favourite and the conversation ran like this:
LMB - Can we have tomato soup for lunch?
Me - Yes, if I have some. If I don't will another type of soup do? Would you eat something else?
LMB -Hmmm, maybe (fingers insert into mouth)
Me - I have Potato and Leek.........
LMB - (silence)
Me - Ah, found some, that's lucky.
LMB - Did you know that this is proper tomato soup?
Me - No, I didn't why is that?
LMB - The rubbish stuff has tomatoes in it.............
So on helping choose today's lunch - he asked for his favourite and the conversation ran like this:
LMB - Can we have tomato soup for lunch?
Me - Yes, if I have some. If I don't will another type of soup do? Would you eat something else?
LMB -Hmmm, maybe (fingers insert into mouth)
Me - I have Potato and Leek.........
LMB - (silence)
Me - Ah, found some, that's lucky.
LMB - Did you know that this is proper tomato soup?
Me - No, I didn't why is that?
LMB - The rubbish stuff has tomatoes in it.............
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
FSOT
For sale or trade:
Three in one model, converts from lying flat to jumping to running around in circles crazily all with a simple press of the button (preferably your own!). Can go fast, faster, incredibly fast and manic. Will do stop at own convenience rather than owner's. Pleasing to the eye, but incredibly loud as this particular version malfunctioned with the volume control, volume only goes down as low as 95 decibels, however, batteries can be pulled at around 7pm most nights for around 10 hours of silence with only the odd buzz at intermittent intervals. Very easy to uphold, just feed chocolate to rev the sparks up again. Has a slight whine, but this could be tinnitus affecting the current owner. Occasionally leaks particularly after a long bout of playing the same record, over and over and over and over and over and not actually succeeding in getting to the place it wants to be. Not too hard to manoevere, although has been known to go into overdrive when hungry, thirsty or in need of shutdown........I think the manufacturer's terminology is "meltdown". Slight default in the mechanical arm which occasionally will swing out and hit other parts of the model causing a large screeching noise sounding a little like a strangled cat, which may cause alarm at first. This is nothing to worry about, unless you see red stuff leaking from any part of the model, in which case, there is nothing to be done other than take it apart for an hour or two whilst the damaged section is being repaired with band aids. Can be taken apart for removal to other homes with similar versions of the model and will frequently demand the desire to have these same versions attach to their output causing the volume and giddyness to increase further still. Usually responds well to being spoken to and reasoned with, but occasionally may need a sharp word primarily due to the volume control being defunct! Will occasionally smell, make strange wind associated noises or laugh hysterically at the word "pooh hole". Tends to eat a rather large hole in your pocket, so not that economical, but pretty environmentally friendly as all parts and dressings for parts are washable, recycled and re-useable. Grubby condition and much loved........
$200 ono
Items in search of:
A doll or the bastard that told me having kids was a walk in the feckin' park (lol!)
A large bar of chocolate
A portion of fish and chips from the UK with vinegar - don't forget the vinegar
A flat stomach
My boobs
Caffeine
My life
Shares in someone's wine cellar
A frontal lobotomy!
Only 9 more weeks 'til school yahay!!!!!!
Three in one model, converts from lying flat to jumping to running around in circles crazily all with a simple press of the button (preferably your own!). Can go fast, faster, incredibly fast and manic. Will do stop at own convenience rather than owner's. Pleasing to the eye, but incredibly loud as this particular version malfunctioned with the volume control, volume only goes down as low as 95 decibels, however, batteries can be pulled at around 7pm most nights for around 10 hours of silence with only the odd buzz at intermittent intervals. Very easy to uphold, just feed chocolate to rev the sparks up again. Has a slight whine, but this could be tinnitus affecting the current owner. Occasionally leaks particularly after a long bout of playing the same record, over and over and over and over and over and not actually succeeding in getting to the place it wants to be. Not too hard to manoevere, although has been known to go into overdrive when hungry, thirsty or in need of shutdown........I think the manufacturer's terminology is "meltdown". Slight default in the mechanical arm which occasionally will swing out and hit other parts of the model causing a large screeching noise sounding a little like a strangled cat, which may cause alarm at first. This is nothing to worry about, unless you see red stuff leaking from any part of the model, in which case, there is nothing to be done other than take it apart for an hour or two whilst the damaged section is being repaired with band aids. Can be taken apart for removal to other homes with similar versions of the model and will frequently demand the desire to have these same versions attach to their output causing the volume and giddyness to increase further still. Usually responds well to being spoken to and reasoned with, but occasionally may need a sharp word primarily due to the volume control being defunct! Will occasionally smell, make strange wind associated noises or laugh hysterically at the word "pooh hole". Tends to eat a rather large hole in your pocket, so not that economical, but pretty environmentally friendly as all parts and dressings for parts are washable, recycled and re-useable. Grubby condition and much loved........
$200 ono
Items in search of:
A doll or the bastard that told me having kids was a walk in the feckin' park (lol!)
A large bar of chocolate
A portion of fish and chips from the UK with vinegar - don't forget the vinegar
A flat stomach
My boobs
Caffeine
My life
Shares in someone's wine cellar
A frontal lobotomy!
Only 9 more weeks 'til school yahay!!!!!!
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Cape Cod
Where to begin? I never know quite where to start when i haven't kept on top of things for a while, particularly when we have been on vacation too! We have just returned from a fantastic week on Cape Cod........Less talk - more pics!! Enjoy.....
Early evening looking over the Bay in Provincetown, Mass.
Ripples in the sand - I love mucking with patterns!
Whale Watching !! What an experience!
Oi! This is NOT a whale!! Actually this was a great hour spent with my eldest on the beach watching the sun set. He took this one of me!
Going............................
Going.....................
And then the moon came out!
Random boat on a beach - but so typical of the Cape
And another Cape feature!
Oi! This is NOT a whale!! Actually this was a great hour spent with my eldest on the beach watching the sun set. He took this one of me!
Going............................ Going..................... And then the moon came out!
Random boat on a beach - but so typical of the Cape
And another Cape feature!
Dam Building - some boys never grow up! Peter Pan and his kids!
Peter Pan was also responsible for this too...........
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