Stories my son needs......and words my daughter doesn't!

As some of you know this blog not only re-lives the "out of the mouth of babes" comments that I experience being the mama of three talkative smalls, but also, occasionally, I drop in a more serious post, or something a little theoretical open for discussion. Today is a more serious post, albeit I AM going to start with this little gem from I.

If you have been reading the last couple of entries, you will know that she has been struggling with tr and f, getting them mixed up. This lunchtime we were putting on our outdoor stuff to meet friends for lunch. The boys have just been bought some "trekking boots" which they LOVE to wear and take even bigger pride in telling everyone that that is exactly what they are "trekking boots". We also bought a pair of similar style for I.

"Mama...........where my f***ing boots?"

It still needs SEEEEERRRRIous work!

Now to the science bit!!

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I have been introduced to a great little resource, that I personally feel would do well on the shelf of any parents with sons: "What stories does my son need?" by Michael Gurian. Yes, the same guy I rambled on about a few posts back!!

This is a book that loosely guides parents in their choices of books and movies that build character in their sons. It is not, I feel, without it's flaws:

1. It is American, so maybe some of the movies in particular, would be different choices in the UK?

2. It is not a finite list, there may also be (as he states) other books/movies that build similar character, new books come out all the time, maybe some children (my T. is one) who may not be ready for a certain movie or book at the designated time span.

3. Some of the books are now movies which are NOT on the same level as the book, so to exchange one for the other would be a mistake: Bridge to Terabithia (albeit i haven't seen it) I understand is one such book.

I think it is an ongoing book that I know I may add to and also edit if I feel certain books/movies inappropriate, but it is a great tool. I have actually bought my mum, sister and a girlfriend with a son a copy each too!

So; one of the movies recommended for T's age is E.T. Initially I wasn't sure that it would be appropriate, bearing in mind that although this child has a "reading age" of an 8/9 year old, his movie repetoire is much younger.

The book (WSDMSN?) has discussion points for after the movie or book that helps your child to think more deeply about the emotions of the characters, hopefully building up character.

With E.T. the idea is that the boys will start to think about the friendship that Elliot has with ET, maybe think about whether the government officials who try to capture E.T are "bad", how long distance friendships can be maintained (one of the reasons I chose this movie obviously!) and build up empathy for the characters rather than seeing it as "goodies and baddies fight aliens and each other end of!"

Now, bear in mind, my boys like to ask questions, so I hoped that it would be easy to talk about the movie afterwards..........however, the questions started at the opening credits and didn't finish once the screen went blue.......... "How is this going to happen.?" "Why is he.......?" "What is going.........?" Breathe, breathe but OMG.the.non.stop.questions aaaggghhhh!!!!!!!

Anyway, back to the topic in hand..........

W. is somewhat of a combateer, and after watching the movie, which they found sad but still liked it, T. decided to go and write the next chapter of a book he is working on (this chapter is suitably titled "Al meets E.T") , W. came through with his wooden sword saying he was going to play "E.T fights the bad men". Ugh! Not really what I wanted to hear........but it so beautifully lead us to a great discussion about how E.T. really did "fight" the government guys, how he had the best "weapon" of all, he had a Friend. Having a friend in Elliot who was prepared to help him to the very end was the best form of "sword". He didn't need to raise his fists but they did it together as a team.

I strongly feel that what kids watch (and to a certain extent read) does influence their behaviour, maybe negatively outright ie: fighting, bullying etc, but also less obviously such as showing a lack of empathy to others, an inability to express themselves, a lack of emotion because "boys are tough". I am not suggesting for a second that I am going to censor all my kid's viewing forevermore and edit their reading because I am not, but I hope that having family movies together and discussing their reading material (also providing appropriate stuff) I can help them make good choices and use their knowledge of "good" media to inspire to or find their own ideas, thus hopefully encouraging them to be compassionate men, (and women of course, mustn't forget my daughter in this!).

If you haven't read this book, or for that fact, any of Michael Gurian's work, I would strongly recommend you try one. He isn't preachy or self-righteous, he writes in a way that you can pick up and put down ( a necessity with smalls!) and don't need a degree in psychology to understand.


Yours inspiringly
The Beehive

Early morning cuppa with a sour taste !!

Bummer! Horizon are not as green as they give out to be! For those of you in the UK (or elsewhere!) Horizon is a brand name for a company producing organic milk. Unfortunately they make organic chocolate and strawberry too, which the boys love: however: Read this
Fortunately we don't drink much milk now as I. is drinking soy or rice milk (kind of drinking it!) and we can get chocolate treats in the soy milk variety. Problem is, they are another Nestle company, they have a finger in many other pies that are not labelled under the original name! Why is it that companies that set out with all good intentions eventually fall into the trap of global consumerism and big $$$$?? Body Shop is another one, Anita Roddick sold out to L'Oreal - and guess who owns L'Oreal? - Nestle!!!

For those of you who are not up on the Nestle aversion that I have, read this!

Anyway, off my hobby horse!

Two exciting things have happened this week for me; the first is that I have finally become certified with DONA, so i can now put CD(DONA) after my name (what IS that all about???). Secondly, I am going to be published LOL! - Okay, so not anything majorly grand, in fact I remember the first class I taught getting more published than me with a book of poetry that we wrote! Still, it's a start. I am going to be in issue #20 of The Mother Magazine. It is a observational comparison between technocratic and holistic models of care in the maternity ward. If any of you read it, (it is a small eco-friendly/natural parenting Green Mag) you will have to let me know what you think, I will try to post a link to it, once it comes out, the issue is Winter this year. I am no scholar, and probably no writer either, but it is fun..... I think I might add "Writer" to my list of aspirations now!!

I have decided that once a month, I will put my list of books up on my blog as I read them, partly to instigate discussion (if anyone else has read them!) and partly because I know that I rarely get the time to browse in a book shop, so tend to find my choice of literature from other's recommendations, so here are some of mine.

This is my list of current reading material - I finshed Khaled Housseini and really enjoyed it. It was a different approach to a current trend. By that, I mean that there are now more than ever, books on Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran but this was written from a different angle. It gave a great insight - well for me anyway, into life in Afghanistan.

I am currently about to try "Do they hear you when you cry" by Fauziya Kassindja. I am interested to see if it reminds me in anyway of the book Desert Flower by Wasis Diri that I read some years ago - in fact, there is a girl in Ireland who probably still has my copy of that book!!!
The other two I bought today for my list are: "Living to Tell the Tale" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez (Life in the time of Cholera!) but am intruiged to find out whether it is actually a biography or not. I picked it up in the sale box and it is an edition with nothing on the back or inside covers to help me out!! I am sure the Amazon link will help me out when I have time to read it properly!!
The other one is "A year by the sea" by Joan Anderson which I picked up in the Women's studies section.

This afternoon we have been swimming in a friend's pool. T. managed to do a width on his own without armbands! Finally!! He is a great one for procrastination and finding reasons why he can't do something, but equally he hates to be the oldest in a group and unable to do something. My friend's daughter can swim unaided, so this seemed to the the instigation he needed - Way to Go T!!!! Now to get those bloody stabilizers of his bike.......