The first cut is the deepest.......

.........and causes the most likelyhood of bald patches!


So what can I expect from my kids and peer pressure in the future??

Well if today is anything to go by - I expect they will bow to it as much as I tried to (well, I liked to call it "rebelling against my parents" but in all truth it was probably succumbing to peer pressure -yawn!)

This weekend, Master Beehive the younger's bezzy mate was unwittingly handed over to his father's capable hands for a quick trim at the barbers......kind of male bonding one presumes lol! However, this resulted in a number 2 army crew cut and probably a close call on the divorce front too!!

So, this evening, Master Beehive the younger commented on how much he liked his friend's new cut.

"That's nice!" I replied with my mind on other things


"I want mine cut like that" says he


"Sure sweetie, we'll just let it go through the summer, like we agreed, and then have it cut in the Fall." This was actually partly a ploy on my part to hope he changed his mind and also because he changes his mind on a weekly basis like the wind.

After dinner I pop upstairs to get the Little Miss's p-j's and shut curtains - the usual routine. Getting sidetracked I probably end up being upstairs for a good 15 minutes.





On returning to the kitchen, I notice there is a smallish but long pile of hair on the floor. Not thinking TOO much of it, I pick it up and open the trash to put it in, only to discover at least four more handfuls.

It is funny how, when faced head on with a situation, the dawning of reality comes in slow motion. Eventually the mallet hits me on the head and I put two and two together.

He had scalped the back of his head and taken his bangs so high they would have made Bjork proud! I had to do a repair job and there was only one way forward and at 7pm at night, there are no hairdressers open for the challenge except chez moi!.....................

So I am now, very sad, mourning the loss of his wonderful angelic mop......................





From this:

To this.........................

Is it cos I is.......

a cheeky cockney Londoner guv??

So firstly:

What IS it with the letter H in the English language?

UK:

Since when has an H been a Hay-tch?? As far as I ever knew it was Aitch. Perhaps, in my inferior knowledge, it is just part of the estate agent training manual, because in all, yes ALL, my communication with them over the last couple of weeks, every darned one has pronounced aitch the same way and the lilt on the hAYtch is nauseating!!!! Perhaps there is a secret Estate Agent school where they practice the accent...........or perhaps I should be looking for a house in Scotland??

US:
And then on the other side of the pond there is a complete dismissal of the fact that H in front of a word, generally makes the sound "hu" so Hotel, Herb, Happy, Hungry. For the majority of words on pages 486 - 685 of my dictionary the H is not silent, nor do my American friends pronouce it as such until I am offered a cup of "Erbal tea" or asked what "Erbs" I put in the casserole? !!!!!

And then there is this...................


Cabinet for girl who wanted 'Cab, innit?'
A teenager reportedly ended up with a cabinet instead of a taxi because she asked directory inquiries for a "cab, innit".
According to The Sun, the Londoner, 19, wanted a taxi to take her to Bristol airport, and first used the Cockney rhyming slang "Joe Baxi".
When the operator told her she couldn't find anyone by that name, the teen replied: "It ain't a person, it's a cab, innit."
The operator then found the nearest cabinet shop, Displaysense, and put the girl through.
She then spoke to a bemused saleswoman and eventually demanded: "Look love, how hard is it? All I want is your cheapest cab, innit. I need it for 10am. How much is it?"
The sales adviser said it would be £180 and the girl gave her address and paid with a credit card. The next morning, an office cabinet was delivered to her South London home.
The firm, of Bishop's Stretford, Hers, has now apologised and refunded her cash after the mix-up two weeks ago.
Marketing manager Steve Whittle said: "We thought it was a joke at first but the girl was absolutely livid. We have suggested that maybe she should speak a bit clearer on the phone."


Do I laugh, do I cry...............or per'aps it is cos I is a snob..............innit??!

Never enough sisters.......

It has been the strangest of times in the Beehive recently. Lots of high running emotions. Today we found out that the baby had Trisomy 16, which was why I miscarried as it is incompatible with life. Not sure how I feel about that right now, I am not sure if it is better to know these things or not, there isn't exactly anything I can do with that information right now.

My little sis has been here for the last week, which has been one of the best tonics a girl can have! She was childless for the week, so we were able to coordinate trips out and on Friday evening we both spent a stunning time at an overnight party at the house of a brother of some ladies I know from school. It was a great night. The home was, in all honesty, like a hotel/spa. There was a huge indoor swimming pool, hot tub, gym, sauna, yoga room etc. These two sisters had laid on an event for the auction last year that consisted of a party and sleep over at this "ranch"! There were around 30 ladies in all and what with learning some of the most sordid and classified secrets of my school-mom *sisters* and swimming in what can only be defined as bath water after probably having more cosmopolitans than is truly safe for swimming *ooops*! I do feel somewhat refreshed and ready to get back in and kick butt!

Today the sun is out (finally), Corrine Bailey Rae was playin' in the car, I was wailing along with the windows down and my shades on, quite frankly Mr Shankly- life is starting to look up!

Sink or swim?

Last week I lost something.

I lost something that I didn't ever really have, if only for a brief couple of days.

I was enticed, by Hope.

She was standing on an island and I was on the sand, white, brilliant sand.

In front of me was sea, crystal clear, blue sea.

I put my toe in.

The water was so warm, so inviting.

Hope was there, shining a light and beckoning me to come toward her.

Slowly I swam.

I swam those crystal waters towards Hope, towards her light.

After a short while, the water began to feel colder, not the same as it did on the shore.

I hesitated, but reminded myself that often seas feel colder when you get in deeper.

Gradually a light mist surrounded me.

Through this mist I was struggling to see Hope.

I could just make out her light, but it was faint.

Then briefly the mist lifted and once again I saw Hope and her light.

But all too soon, she was gone.

The mist was thick, heavy, it engulfed me and sucked at my soul.

Panic set in, I couldn't reach the bottom of the sea, my feet trod the water and I floundered in the unknown.

Behind me I heard voices, on the shore.

I turned and swam heavily and with cumbersome strokes, flailing often, toward the voices.

Hands reached in and grabbed me and dragged me up on the the rocks and pebbles that were once pale sand. As they did, the rocks cut my arms and my face and my legs.

The sea water stung my body as deep reminder of my journey, just as the tears later stung my face.

My womb felt empty, my heart heavy.

The voices asked me if I was okay.

I was devoid of any emotion, I could not reply.

Looking behind me back at where Hope once stood, I could now make out her island.

Millions and millions of pieces, made up from women's hearts.

Shining, red and bright, on the precipice of this isle.

And standing out like a star on the horizon,

Was a tiny, new, fresh slice of mine.

Jollies and Gin Trollies!

I am getting a little too good at this hiatus thing! This could be in part due to being uber busy at the moment and not having so much time on the 'puter to blog the banal, or it could be due to the fact that I am losing my leetle grey cells again.......as it appears there is a small bun in the oven sucking them dry!

We have just returned from an ........interesting.......trip to The Bahamas. I say this as we were on a mission there to renew our visas, the choice of destination wasn't a choice for a holiday per se, merely the better of other choices outside the US for one week that spoke English, wasn't five hours ahead and wasn't 35 below! and after all, who can complain about being forced to the warmth of the Carribean for a week?

As I have said before, holidays are for the mad, the childless and the desperate. Queues, lost luggage, delays, missed flights, living things sharing the same bed at night (and this is after Mr Beehive and all small Beehives), cancelled trips AND mislaid visas, not much more one could pack into a week really!

Nassau, we felt, was a little "Marbella-ish" - but perhaps that is just our hidden snob popping its nose out or a sign we are heading towards the wrong side of 40 rather than the right side of 14!

It was riddled with cruise ship visitors and many, many spring break teens all delightfully drunk and loud, supping yards of beer from containers designed to match their own overbaked skin (I am sure I was never like this, nor will my children ever be....off to pop my head back in the sand!). Puke stains decorated the corners in strategic places and even the sellers in the straw market looked pissed off and too tired to barter! For the "other-end" of the market, there was Paradise Island where one could mingle with the likes of TomKat and Oprah, spend a night at The Atlantis Hotel in the $250,000 per night suite overlooking the cruise ships, drink Marguaritas on the locals' floating gin palaces or ride in helicopters to shop for extortionately priced diamonds and other bling.

But moans aside (which, were they to happen singularly, we would have just laughed at, but altogether does appear somewhat of a conspiracy!!) it was semi relaxing, very warm and pretty enough. The boys and I managed to feed sting rays and see a wild sea turtle (that was the highlight of my trip. I have seen one before, in Sri Lanka, it rode alongside our boat for a short while, but it never ceases to fascinate me when I see wildlife in its true habitat, particularly rarer creatures such as turtles!). Mr Beehive, however, saw more of the inside of the American Embassy than he would care to remember.

New Providence has some glorious parts, the outer islands and the sea itself, the coral reefs (a diver's paradise!) and some secluded beaches here and there, but there is a need to seek the rose amongst the thorns . We won't be returning in a huge hurry.

Seize the "teachable" moment!

Every so often in the Beehive we have a weekend that just needs to be written off!

This weekend was that one!

On Friday at school I was part of a group of parents participating in a Health and Sexuality talk with a nurse. In a very large nutshell, it was about how we can teach our children about sex, puberty, self esteem and the likes. It was an good conversation and I came away with some excellent info, the most important was the ceasing of "teachable moments".

Saturday was the first of those such moments. Not related to the topic by any means, but early evening saw Master Beehive the elder and younger fooling around (as so often happens after dinner); remember the "witching hour" when they were babies? Well believe me, that continues for as long as they are children, manifesting itself in different ways and in my household, that becomes the "mad half hour". Children running wildly around in all different directions and doing all manner of things - fueled by fuel in fact - whoever said that children's behaviour deteriorates when they are hungry hasn't been in The Beehive after dinner of an evening!!!!!

I am chatting with Mr Beehive in the kitchen whilst needlefelting my gnome (nah! not as rude as it sounds, think voodoo but with an end product - the stress relief is G - R - E - A - T !!!) when I hear a tinkling sound. You know when you hear something, you know exactly what it sounds like but your brain refuses to register that this is what it could possibly be because, if it is.....well that would mean the inevitable has happened........and that couldn't possibly be so - or could it?

Apparently yes!

Mr Beehive the younger comes running through to say that Master Beehive the elder has put a baseball through the window. You know, STILL not registering (and I haven't even had a drink!!) I am SOOOO slow on the uptake, that it is not even in my radar that he is telling me that his brother has just broken the lounge window with a baseball!!??!!

Suddenly the realisation hits and the red mist comes down.

I storm through, see the evidence and send him forthwith to his room telling him I will deal with him when I have calmed down. Recalling an example in a book I read a while back, perhaps Life with Boys or something similar, where a dad talks about the exact same scenario and how he deals with it with his 11 year old, I decide to draw on this and go up to calmly talk to him. Together we come up with a suitable reprimand, in this case, some of his pocket money to help pay for the repair (this is the one thing that hits him hardest!) and discussing the fact that his dad and I are not upset with the fact the window got broken as it was an accident and yes, he didn't mean to do it, but more that he was irresponsible and was playing with a hard ball inside the house.

Anyway, cutting a looooooong story short. This morning I am awoken by whispering and swiftly attaching my extendable-mummy-ears catch on that he has just charged his poor brother $10 for the priviledge of entering his room!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously if it wasn't funny, I could have swung for him. He was dutifully ordered to return the toll!

So, teachable moment number one!

Teachable moment number two came on Sunday at breakfast time. Sitting down to scrambled egg we got onto the topic of the chicken and the egg and the fact that they lay eggs and we don't have eggs.

"But we do!" says I

"Where? We are mammals!" asks MB the younger

"Well mummy has eggs, like a bird really and they need fertilising with a seed before they become a baby"

Mr Beehive looks ominously at me! Ignoring his look, I am empowered after Friday.

MB the elder says

"Daddy has the seed"

"There you are!" I say, gleefully ! Woohoo that was easy!!

Silence

More silence

Then

"Well alright but how do the egg and the seed get together?"

Mr Beehive smiles a kind of smirking smile, the kind that says - ha ha now you did it!

"Sex," says I............

Thus endeth the second teachable moment!

So what with an abundance of teachable moments, and a childbirth class at school that found me on the floor of the school music room with a large blue ball between my legs (make of THAT what you will!) this weekend only had to end with one of them falling sick.

Poor lamby LMB! She is flushed and hot and feeling decidedly sick. I returned from the class at school to find her asleep on the sofa and since then she has been in the sling as I try to cook the dinner.
-
-
-
-
-

Which the bogging dog ate the left overs of, so now I have to think of something afresh for dinner tomorrow night. Something that doesn't involve ANY teachable moments methinks!!!

Golden Potty Awards!!

The worst parent of the week award goes to...........



.................drum roll...................................



ME!


This afternoon LMB was somewhat desperate for the toilet. Why is it that girls who are desperate to go to the loo, leave it until the last possible moment, until that point whereupon their move from their strategic crouch on the floor will open the floodgates and send pee everywhere? Hopping from one foot to the other, she had managed to remove her dungarees (I know, very helpful for her, but these are the only ones she owns and she loves em!) but was wailing for help. Feeling compassion, I hoiked her up onto the seat just in time. I handed her some toilet paper and left the room, calling behind me to remind her to put her clothes back on.

"But I am wearing my knickers mammy."
"Wow, that was quick!"

I turn back to check and see her still poised on the porcelain pot and glance at the crumpled dungarees on the floor. I return back to sorting the washing in my bedroom.

"You haven't you silly thing, they are on the floor. Are you tricking me?"
"No mama, I have my knickers on"
"But I put you on the pot......you can't have your.......... knickers............. on.........(*shiiiiiiiiittttt*)"

Realisation dawns, I leg it back to the bathroom to see her sitting forlorn, still on the toilet, trying to desperately remove her sodden undies, toilet paper in hand!

I expect she is now scarred for life!!

Mum's day / Dad's day

When I teach my childbirth and parenting preparation classes, sometimes I do an exercise called Mum and Dad's day, highlighting the importance of communication in the early days of parenting and how easy it is to misinterpret something that you don't see in reality.

So, I think I need to re-introduce this exercise into my own life:

Mum's Morning

6.15 Get up check state of hair and make decision not to wash it as there won't be time, have quick shower. Turn on computer to check e-mails later in day. Throw on clothes, fling hair into ponytail. 6.25 Go downstairs to breakfast chaos to find no Mr Beehive, LMB has poured milk into the apple sauce, Master Beehive the elder and younger are both gnawing on chocolate chip granola bars for breakfast and the dog is howling in the yard. Start by clearing up and reprimanding the boys for poor choices. Re-set the table and put on wellies to go and get the dog in before he wakes the neighbours. Toast bagels for the boys' lunch boxes and intercept argument about who stands on the stool to get in the way and then following fight with Mr Beehive the younger pulling the Little Miss off the stool by her feet! Get milk for Master Beehive the elder who has suddenly developed an accute inability to walk, remove empty orange carton from fridge and replace with fresh open one. Make bagels to discover no lunchboxes. Send boys to retrieve lunchboxes from school bags. Wash both boxes hastily and dry them manically, debating the second most important use for my hairdryer in a crazy household. Remind boys to choose their fruit, close their boxes and put them back in their bags. Load dishwasher. Clean table, clean children, supervise teethbrushing (a little too late)...........clean bathroom (!) Open curtains in various rooms, remove Mr Beehive's snack plate/wine glass from previous night. Open bathroom window as it smells like a duck's crack. Find Master Beehive the elder's school book behind the toilet. Pick up Master beehive the younger's glasses and hat strewn on the dining room floor. Continue up the stairs, meet Mr Beehive looking clean and dressed and unstressed coming out to pretend to be interested in the dressing process. Snarl at him, he retreats back into the bedroom and half heartedly tries to help me make the bed which I deliberately re-do around him to prove that it is too late trying to help when I AM ACTUALLY DOING IT! Put two baskets of clean washing on the bed to remind me to sort it into piles later for putting away. Make children's beds, open curtains, help LMB choose something to wear, chivvy along Master Beehive the younger. Retreive another library of books from down the side of Master Beehive the elder's bed. Wave off Mr Beehive, clean my teeth, put on slap, help LMB re-dress as she got to the loo too late. Print off important stuff for meeting this morning, remember I still haven't done the preparation for work on Thursday and write myself a list. Get sidetracked by the need to change as the Little Miss gives me a hug holding a purple crayon and draws on my jeans and then sidetracked further trying to trace the cause of a disgusting smell, finally realising that it is a dirty diaper that LMB did for me this morning at 5.30am which has been left in the bathroom. Give kids a 10 minute warning to get on socks, sweaters. Give 5 minute warning.
Go downstairs make sure lights are off, put on coat, collect together lunchboxes and bags and leave them on the stairs for boys, lay out coats. Notice that the laundry basket has been put in the kitchen and immediately get my hackles up feeling irritated that Mr Beehive thinks I need to know the washing needs to be done (*insert eye rolling emoticon!) Kick the basket!
Spend the next 15 minutes chasing Mr Beehive the younger into actually getting his stuff on and getting out of the door into the car. Little Miss in the meantime is down the garden, playing in the mud! Re-dress LMB for the second time this morning, check my watch, panic as we will be late and Master Beehive the elder will get a tardy mark and then blame me!!
Finally get all children into the car at 8.15 ready for school.
Get to school and realise I have left the photocopies on top of the pile of washing to be sorted in the bedroom!

Dad's morning:
6.10 Get up and go downstairs, pick up newspaper on way to bathroom. 6.20 Emerge sometime later. Put radio on loudly. Check blackberry. Empty dishwasher, wash up few items with back to children. Presume they are making breakfast, but can't hear or see them, still, think what a nice surprise that will be for Mrs Beehive! Check blackberry again. Take dog out to yard. 6.25 Come in and go upstairs. See Mrs Beehive has put on computer, go on few websites and download stuff to ipod. Shave, Clean teeth, take a nice long warm shower, style hair, cut toenails, dress. Notice Mrs Beehive isn't happy when she comes up, feel confused, help to make bed, pick up laundry basket on way downstairs to leave by machine to help Mrs Beehive. Get coat, briefcase together, check blackberry one more time before arriving at the office. 7.10 Say good bye to children and the wife, leave. Arrive at work, have coffee, settle into day!


Perhaps I should devise the "nine years later" game for my classes??!!

Diversion

Today's post can be found here http://www.athomewithmontessori.blogspot.com/

Oh and here is Master Beehive the younger after playing a game this afternoon with his brother called "You've got to be kiddin' me". This was apparently a forefeit!

Making sense of it all!!

Finally the finished dress!!

I think the Little Miss approves, which is great news!!

I start at the Waldorf on Thursday this week. This may all seem somewhat of a change of allegiance, but I have always felt that for the early years ie: birth - around 3, Waldorf is a wonderful environment for children to be in, so it isn't, I am as reinforced as ever about Montessori.

The group I am running is a parent and toddler group and we all work together in the room, making bread, doing handcrafts and observing the children, allowing them the freedom and independence to join in by first observing themselves and then participating. We also play games in a circle and share a snack together.

To me, this isn't too dissimilar to the Montessori environment that my children then moved onto bar the presence of the parent. I have often felt that this wonderful nurturing, parent-secure environment that is created for the first two or so years at the Waldorf, neatly merges into the need of the child to move onto more independence away from the adult and thus lies the prepared environment in the Montessori. I realise this is over simplistic, but I feel that there is some complement to these two very different educational methods as well as some very different ideas too.

This weekend I completed "The Silent Journey" at the Montessori. We spent the time observing all the classes (Toddler, Primary, Lower El, Upper El and the Middle school) in silence, reflecting on our observations. The second part of the weekend was spent being shown and being given the opportunities to use the materials in each of the rooms. It was a very humbling experience. I felt like I was almost being shown something forbidden as there was this strange sense of awe and almost loss looking at things that I had no idea how to use and then, after being shown how the tools produce the formula or results etc, having that real "a-ha!" moment! I have to say, I am actually envious of the opportunities the mini Beehives have at that school!

So returning to my original point about the morphing of Waldorfian ideas with the thoughts and philosophies that Maria Montessori had, I really feel that the idea of parent supported groups for babies through the time they would begin a toddler program, for me working in the Waldorf environment, neatly includes the need for attachment, the need of the child to observe the parent, the need to explore and be curious in a safe environment, the use of simple toys and the stretching of the mind, emphasis on sound and voice and a natural prepared environment.

Waldossori?? Not sure that anyone would buy it!

Mad Dogs and Englishmen

Crisp, sunny, winter day, what better thing to do than go to the playground and burn off some energy?

Only, not if it is 21F with a windchill of 18!!!!

One of my less intelligent ideas was carried out yesterday with LMB and Master Beehive the younger. Master Beehive the elder was on his way back from a camp-in at the Boston Science Museum with Mr Beehive, so I decided we needed "out"!! All children were suitably dressed in attire that would put the Michelin man to shame whilst I, in my infinite wisdom, decided that "clothing was for wimps" and donned merely a couple of sweaters and scarf, pair of gloves (and trousers too natch!) and of course, the obligatory shades, but no jacket or hat.

Such a nice day, let's go to the playground at the beach right?............. WRONG!

The playground at the beach has the wind at the beach and the wind at the beach comes gusting across the Sound at the beach. On pulling up at the playground, I notice lack of other human beings and excitedly tell the children they have the whole playground to themselves..........of COURSE they do, what other nutters would be out in this weather.............well, other than one family..............who were British.

As we all sat in the small pocket of sunshine drinking hot chocolate from a flask and eating ginger biscuits......we were the united front of English eccentricity.........you would have been proud of us!!!!!!!

On warming up my dead fingers, I managed to finish these next two projects which I am pleased with. LMB loves her new funky flares, and my sewing machine simply adores his new quilted cover (bastard, like he needed to smugly share that info with me after I had sat at the beach in the freezing cold!!!!)

Today we were going to make some bread for lunch as we are off from school, but last night the oven decided enough was enough! After ten years of service, he decided to bow out with a somewhat spectacular fireworks display running around the lower element! I think my slow cooker is going to step into the spotlight this week until the new kid arrives!

Oh and finally, I have a new job!! Just an itty job that fits in perfectly with my schedule. I will be running a parent and toddler class one morning a week at the Waldorf school at the bottom of the road! I can hardly call this work, making crafts and baking bread with lots of friends each day.....pah, I have such a tough life!!!

Saturday project

It is amazing what you can do with a spare couple of hours, some remnants of fabric and a pair of cheap jeans.....

My new toy arrived the other day and I have been itching to try it out. My head is spinning with all the ideas I can finally put into practice, so here is the first one which came to a total cost of $7.00 to make, yes, that included the jeans from the consignment store!!

My next project is the first of a few very early Christmas presents- bugger the January sales now - and then I am going to attempt a summer dress for LMB. Watch this space....

Anyone for knitted yoghurt?

In response to an e-mail received this week:





"I must have a word with you about this knitting obsession though - who knows where it could lead. I should hate for you to become lanoline dependant, spending increasing amounts of time sniffing and touching in wool shops and driving around the state in search of sheep to hug finally ending up in the gutter and throwing your life away. I think you should begin by putting a strict ceiling on the number of patterns, pairs of needles and balls of wool you have in the house at any one time. I will, however, give you a huge tip about the types of garments you should be creating for T, W and I (and more importantly R!!). You need to know that knitted swimming costumes, regardless of the quality of the wool or craftmanship, don't work. Please don't put them through the embarrassment of emerging like Persephone from the foam with a ton weight of 4-ply clagged round their knees and ankles suspended on flimsy shoulder straps. NOT attractive."






I wanted to have the opportunity to respond and say that I was not intending to make Mr Beehive too many horizonally striped sweaters with his initials on the front or knit too many all in one jumpsuits for my salsa dancing, gym manic mother. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind to think about bathing suits however, now there IS an idea............so


Frances - This one is for you:

I guess you don't want to hear about the arrival of my latest toy then???

The Frog Prince

Remember the scene in "The one with all the Thanksgivings" in Friends?
This was my own little Joey this afternoon!!





What a nutjob!

Am having a bit of a writer's block at the moment. I hope to be fully recovered in the next couple of weeks so ..........put on the kettle, but don't go anywhere!!

The Business of being Born

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DgLf8hHMgo

Finally!

Look at the faces of the docs when asked how often they get to see a natural birth - they look like they don't even understand the question for a second!!!

Out of Hibernation

Early this morning, sometime around 6am, Mama bear was awoken by the padding paws of Father bear crossing the den toward the "great outdoors". Sleepily she snuggled further down in her nest pulling in baby bear closer for warmth, content that her other cubs were still snoring peacefully. The gradual light from outside the den was evidence enough that hibernation was over........at least for this year!!!

The first morning back after the holidays always feels like a huge shock to my system. This Christmas we haven't had any visitors and so have been just the five of us, hunkering down in front of the fire most afternoons, playing board games or watching movies, or, in my case, knitting*. We have only ventured out for essential supplies (yes knitting needles were one of these essentials!), to go to "Stew Lemons" as LMB delightfully calls it (well daddy does this place - I can't stand the shop!), to attend a badly run NYEve party for the kids when we should have remained home (perhaps this hibernation period has made us particularly choosy over the types of things we head out for??) or to walk the dog. It has been great fun! Mr Beehive has been off work for a whole week and a half - nearly the longest we ever have him home at any one time.

It hasn't all been fun and games however, Little Miss Beehive and Master Beehive the younger (primarily, but with his older brother joining in for good measure now and then) have been at loggerheads on several occasions that has had me ready to pack up and leave home, we have had WAAAY too many games of Star Wars for comfort (Mr Beehive has been even been drawn in to "feel the force" on occasions and I have lost count of the times we have been subjected to "Mary Pottums" by her #1 obsessed 3yr old fan aaggghhhh!!!

*With regards to my knitting, that I took up last winter as a curiosity or loosely termed hobby more than anything else, it has become an obsession!! I have finished one dress for LMB and nearly a cardigan this holiday and the sweater I started for MB the elder is in its last stages omg! I am already slavering over my next project (a cute hat with pigtail holes for my niece!) and the sordid thoughts of rolling around on the knitting shop floor on piles and piles of beautifully handspun, dip dyed alpaca wool........ahhhh the thought!! Mr Beehive, despite approving of my safe and sometimes wearable craft, is amazed that the cost of a button these days! It isn't my fault, the shop lures me in, sucks my inner soul (and my credit card), my good sense and feeds me patterns that say "simple", "easy", "any numptey can do this one" and then the profur these gorgeous bamboo needles that feel so ooooohhh! and the wool - ahhhh! - don't even take me there - I think I have moved over to the dark side, perhaps I should start trusting the force too?? - but it may be too late for me!! (of course, this obsession will only be understood by a fellow knitter - to all others of you I will appear like some crazed, unhinged person with an unhealthy attitude to playing with sheep offerings!!)

Now we are in a new year - funnily enough it doesn't feel any different to the last one so far, but there is nothing like an opportunity to tweak a few imperfections or have a good clear out of stale stuff, not that I am one for resolutions anymore, they don't tend to get much further than the 4th before they are broken or in serious disrepute!

So my only New Year's resolution this year is to not have any resolutions then I can't fail!!

However I do wish you all the largest dose of health and happiness throughout this year!!!!!







Yours 2008ishly
The Beehive

Raindrops on Roses and whiskers on kittens...........

So what were YOUR favourite Christmas gifts this year? Did you secretly love the sweater that Great Aunty Mo knitted for you in lime green with a picture of a cat on the front? Or that 9785 piece jigsaw of your front lawn in full greenery? Or how about that really great book on Ineffective Political Leaders of our time in all its 4,000,000 pages!!!!!!!

In the Beehive there are really few rules as to what makes a good gift, most of them set by me:

1. it occupies said person for more than 10 seconds
2. it lasts with said person for more than 10 seconds

Simple really!

Ours particular faves this year were*:

Master Beehive the elder - his Lego City that has kept him and his dad amused since about 1pm on Christmas day (I love pressies that amuse both child and dad!! you really feel like you are getting your monies worth - there should be a government health warning on the side though - buy this gift and lose two family members for around 12 hours!!) We have a few more pressies that fit this category that we have lined up for the next few days in order to give mama time to knit or go to the gym and burn off that Christmas dinner!

Master Beehive the younger rather took to a bug catcher with a wonderful, battery operated suction facility. Even though there are no bugs to catch at this time of year, he has thoroughly enjoyed "catching his sister's hair" and sucking up little bits of grime to show me during mealtimes!!

Little Miss Beehive was particularly taken with a pack of Charlie and Lola playing cards - "I am ever so honestly playing a game of flip flop mammy, even though I really truly and completely haven't got a clue what I am doing!!" This too has kept her amused for quite some time.

For me there was a nice, lush black scarf from my mil (chosen by me however hee hee!) and an espresso machine from dh (which might be apparent from my jibbering post today!) I was also the delightful (erk! Should read delightED - but perhaps I am delightful too???) recipient of a beautiful piece of jewellery - I think he might have actually been sucked in by the adverts !! I just hope I manage to keep this piece where it is meant to live (around my neck!) rather than lose it somewhere into oblivion in my parent's ensuite!!

I feel a little sorry for Mr Beehive the eldest of all olds, as I bought him a couple of replacement sweaters (he has had a sweater cull recently!) because his actual present was a trip to Vermont earlier in the Fall. There ain't no easy way to wrap that up, oh and he has a daily present of ................. ME!

So now we are moving to 2008...........I wonder what the year will bring? Hopefully for all of you a happy, healthy and wonderfully fun year.

Mwah x

*disclaimer - this is not to say that ALL presents received this year were not wonderful, of the best thought and love and we are very, very grateful THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

A Christmas ditty

What did YOU do this weekend then?

In the Beehive, we have been preparing like many other families of school aged children, for the end of the term. Hence the baking has begun and I need you to keep up!

On the first day of Christmas Master Beehive said to me
I need to knit a masterpiece.
On the second day of Christmas Master Beehive said to me
Four Grandma's jumblies and a Secret Santa knitted masterpiece.
On the third day of Christmas Master Beehive said to me
Thirty choc chip cookies, four Grandma's jumblies and a Secret Santa knitted masterpiece
On the fourth day of Christmas the school rep reminded me
15 hot mincepies, 30 choc chip cookies, Four Grandma's jumblies and a Secret Santa knitted masterpiece
On the fifth day of Christmas Master Beehive said to me
30 more crunchy cookies!
30 choc chip cookies, 15 hot mincepies, Four Grandma's jumblies and a Secret Santa knitted masterpiece.
On the sixth day of Christmas Little Miss Beehive threw a fit
30 boggin cookies, 30 more crunchy cookies, 15 hot mincepies, 30 choc chip cookies, 4 Grandma's jumblies and a Secret Santa knitted masterpiece.
On the seventh day of Christmas Mr Beehive said to me
I need 48 cookies, 30 boggin cookies, 30 crunchy cookes, 15 hot mincepies, 30 choc chip cookies, 4 grandma's jumblies and a Secret Santa knitted masterpiece.
On the eight day of Christmas a little voice said to me
Don't forget the chutney, I need 48 cookies, 30 boggin cookies, 30 crunchy cookies, 15 hot mincepies, 30 choc chip cookies, 4 Grandma's jumblies and a Secret Santa knitted masterpiece
On the ninth day of Christmas the teachers reminded me
Where is the jelly? Don't forget the chutney, I need 48 cookies, 30 boggin cookies, 30 crunchy cookies 15 hot mincepies, 30 choc chip cookies, 4 Grandma's jumblies and a Secret Santa knitted masterpiece
On the tenth day of Christmas I said to me......
Sixteen bottles of vino, one pot of valium, seventy cups of coffee and one happy family!!!!!!!!!

So this evening I am putting the finishing touches to 160 cookies (well I couldn't make all those and not leave any for my gannets!) and sewing a button on a bag!

But I did manage to make this little number that I am proud of! I knitted this in Karabella Festival wool which is really fun if not a little tricky.

Hemorrhoids from Heaven!

No matter how old you are or what anyone tells you - toilet humour is always funny! I just thought I would share with you two delights that my brood came up with yesterday.

After picking LMB up from school yesterday lunchtime, she started the usual tribal loo hop.

"I need to go poo poo!" she declared "I can feel the bubbles popping in my bottom"

Needless to say I fell about (of course whilst assisting her with her request!)

Second incident was later whilst I was taking Master Beehive the elder to his school concert. We were chatting and I got him engaged by telling him about the meteor shower that is due on Saturday. I explained that these little particles were called Geminoids as they were passing through Gemini. He was really enthusiastic about this and rushed into the concert to tell his teacher and classmates all about this information.
Post concert I asked him if he told his teacher and if he had remembered the name of the particular particles.

"We-e-e-ll" he said, "I did tell them about it, but I got a bit stuck on the name. I couldn't remember, so I told them that lots of Gemarroids were falling into earth's atmosphere on Saturday".

I only thank goodness that he got the first letter correct - I have horrendous images of the preceding letter of the alphabet falling from the sky on Saturday night!!!!!!!

Talking of things falling from the sky; today we are off for an impending snow day.........I am pleased to announce that at 11.40am it has finally started! Upto 3 - 4 inches. I guess we are on for Piles of it ! (sorry couldn't resist!)

Tutus, monkeys and greetings of the season!

So, t'is nearly the season to be jolly, but right now we are being manically busy in the Beehive. End of the school year always brings madness to the nest, but more so during the festive season what with concerts, parties, trees to decorate, gifts to buy and send and cards to distribute. No wonder all the mama's are drunk by 11am on Christmas morning, they are so blinkin' knackered and amazed they have survived it all one more year. It is a sense of shock!

Friday was Mr Beehive's work do! The one day of the year that I don a party frock and I do like to do it with gusto. Trouble is, most years we have to contend with Mother Nature who has other plans for us. Naturally, just as she did in 2005, she treated us to a nice sprinkling of snow that began around 3pm. Normally this isn't an issue, but at the moment she is teasing with these flurries that are actually catching out the road salters. Hence it took Mr Beehive over an hour and a half to come 8 miles with the boys after their party and, fortunately, being the man he is, only 15 minutes to get ready to turn around and go out again. Our driver for the evening was Mr Doom who proceeded to enlighten us with information about the state of the roads, all the accidents, how the car we were in was not suited to the weather (oh goody!). However, it has to be said, Mr Beehive's work knows how to throw a damn good bash. Last year was a OO7 theme , this year was a masked ball..........Our christmas tree this year now has a theme "The Theatre dahhling" and is sporting all the beautiful masks that I delicately managed to remove from the event after a few glasses of vintage bubbly (well, they would only chuck them out, everyone else was doing the same and yes that is a pathetic lemming type of thing to do and no! of course I won't tell the kids that and yes, I do telling them not to be lemmings - Monkey see, monkey want and monkey was just a teeny weeny bit tipsy!!)

Saturday was Mr Beehive's birthday. We had a slow kind of day, got the tree and, much to the disgust of the children, put it up but told them they had to wait to Sunday to decorate it! We have a rule in the Beehive that Christmas doesn't officially start until after Mr Beehive's birthday. Of course, this rule doesn't apply to my need to play a little bit of Croony Christmas Crap on CD prior to this date - there's that boggin' monkey again!

Today Master Beehive the younger has begun tap lessons. He has been hankering after these for quite some time. So we have found a fun class for him to attend and he was unbeliveably excited, wanting to practice on our wooden floors the minute we got in with his shoes on Saturday. Today, however, he is a little more reserved about the whole experience.

"It is noisy and it is full of girls!"

If only Billy Elliot wasn't so fully of cussing, I would perhaps suggest we watch that, however, I will just have to convince him that the dancers from Hi Five started in the same tap lessons as him with all the girls and came out okay! I hope he gets over this and makes a go of it. He has such a good sense of rhythm and loves to dance.

Michael: So you're going to ballet every week?

Billy: Aye, but don't say owt.

Michael: Do you get to wear a tutu?

Billy: Fuck off, they're only for lasses. I wear me shorts.

Michael: You ought to ask for a tutu?

Billy: I'd look a right dickhead.

Michael: I think you'd look wicked.

I think he'll do grand!

The end and beginning of an era!

Yay we have snow! Well, more like dandruff right now, but it's a beginning. The forecast doesn't look promising for it to stay which, has the advantages of the children being in school so I don't have to cancel my meeting tomorrow morning, but the disadvantage of the rush off to school and the lack of hunkering down inside in front of the fire.

I think we have reached unchartered territory! Mr Beehive, so it would appear, has a silent crush.....*gasps*. Tomorrow he has a female friend coming back for a playdate and dinner. He has been preparing for this event ALL week, to the point that he has revealed some of his inner most worries to me to ensure the date goes well.

I have been served up a list of duties I need to perform before and during this date. Firstly I have been banished out into the snow to clean out my car!!!?? then I have to serve up the specifically requested menu of gluten free noodles with tomato sauce and butter (if she is allowed to eat dairy on that day) followed by.....a dessert (something that in our house consists of either yoghurt, fruit or occasionally ice cream. I remember an ex-boyfriend's mother always serving that same choice up for weekday puddings every time I went over.....and here I am, doing it myself with full recognition and kudos to her, that after 8 years of trying to be inventive and creative for children's meals, I am exhausted with the main course, so puddings are relegated to weekend treats!!) at dinner time!!???
Normally a playdate in my son's opinion consists of lots of charging around the garden, climbing the trees, generally getting filthy (not caring about the state of my car interior) and then some hot dogs and salad for dinner........this is a new realm for him (and me!)!!!!!!!

Finally, he has asked to have his hair cut!! Now this is serious. Naturally I am saddened that he wants to shed his gorgeous long white blond curly locks.......and HE is serious because when I offered to cut it for him, he requested that he be taken somewhere "proper" with "experts" (not remotely offended of course!). So this afternoon we are heading to my stylist whom I trust to listen to my motherly whinging and whining and give him a trendy, floppy.......*short*aaaggh it hurts to say it...boy cut! Oh and she won't laugh at me when I ask for the hair in a tupperware!

Now I take my leave to mourn!

Turkey Time!!

I'm a slacker I know!


Thanksgiving has been and come and I haven't updated my blog.


So what to tell? Thanksgiving was......well Thanksgiving. Turkey, trimmings and hours of preparations all to be quaffed in half the time under the disguise of alcohol so it never tastes as it ought anyway!!! Of course, it is a far bigger thing to the Americans than it is to us (one of my dear friends was up at 5am shoving stuffing up her turkey's bum - now there is the first difference - I don't DO 5am and turkey butts, my style of cooking is always and shall always remain "It will be ready when it is ready and I am a vegetarian so I shall cook you meat but a refuse to venture to deeper depths!!") but I do like the idea of a celebratory day to give thanks for the harvest and our fortune at having food on the table (I know this isn't the main story behind Thanksgiving, but it works for us aliens!!). However, it always amuses me how people have to shop like it is the end of the world on these events, argue and hustle each other in the supermarkets over the last gallon of milk and then complain afterwards that they have WHAAAAY too much left over and they don't know what to do with it???!! For me, that kind of defeats the object of being grateful for being fortunate enough to have food on our plates only to then chuck half of it away afterwards. We only have one small container of leftover turkey in the freezer and I made turkey and veggie puffs with the leftovers for the day after Thanksgiving. Other than that, we are all out of leftovers.

This year I was on call, so was expecting to get to the point of putting the bird in the oven only to be called away...........fast forward a week and my client rings me to say she has had the baby. It happened so smoothly she didn't feel the need to call at 2am......so good for her and a teensy weensy thank you for not waking me up!!!!!!!


Instead Mr Beehive was able to leap on a plane last minute and hop over to the UK for his grandmother's funeral. Naturally, things always happen when Mr Beehive is out of the country, this time I came down with some unknown stomach bug and the Little Miss fell off the second to last step of our wooden stairs and tried to stop herself.....with her teeth!!! Fortunately she hasn't lost any, but we now sit and wait to see whether she has destroyed the nerves and ends up with a black tooth permanently or not.

Last Saturday, Mr Beehive and I went into the City for the day. We set off with an agenda that half an hour into our jaunt we had ditched in favour of taking off our watches and just wandering. I have always said that NYC is not a city that you can get lost in and just stumble upon stuff like London is. Well, that might be the case to an extent, but if you know where to wander, the architecture and diversity is stunning. The buildings always amaze me, so Gothic and 1920's classic, so tall and vast, so intricate:



Battery Park



Buildings near the Courts.

The Woolworth Building

The Flat Iron Building

We spent most of the day just drifting from Battery Park on the very south end of Manhattan up to the Frick on 75th st (?) near Central Park. It was so fantastic not to have any commitments, any reason to have to rush off somewhere, no lunches to prepare, no taxi services to provide etc. By around 4pm, after Dim Sum and a great reflexology session in China Town, we had gotten to The Frick Museum that Mr Beehive had wanted to see (I am not so much of a pre-Raphalite or Renaissance kinda gal) so we wandered in there for a look. Then later on we decided, off the cuff, to go to see the Bodies exhibition by the Seaport. That was so interesting. Mr Beehive had not been very up for it.......his squeamish side I think! Only it was far from squeamish, in fact you had to remind yourself that they actually were cadavers on many occasions as they looked almost plastic. It is a fabulous exhibition for anyone who is wondering. Really educational and informative and not at all gory. They have done an amazing job, the cadavers have been preserved initially to mortuary standards, dissected, soaked in acetone and then pumped with a kind of silicon or polymer and sealed in a vacuum chamber after preservation to maintain them in this permanent state. For the layperson, this is a great insight into how the body functions and also what a mess one can make of the body by smoking, drinking excessively and overeating. If you get a chance, go to one of the exhibitions, they are all over the world I think.

We now have our watches firmly back on once more to resume parental duties........Sir!!

What's lying under the floorboards?

It almost seems in bad taste relaying this tale (or should I say "tail"?) to you after my previous entry. But knowing how much Mop loved a funny story, I am sure she would have been happy to listen, so here goes:

On Friday the Beehive began to smell. No, not that leftover cooking/doggy/fire embers/washing type of smell that you get the morning after the night before, but STINK! as in rotten, festering, gagging type of smell. It was traced to our cupboard in the dining room where we have a false ceiling as well as many, many boxes.

This is actually my "Monica cupboard". The place in the house where I shove everything so that I can fool people into thinking that I can have lots of small children AND a clean and tidy house!!

On Saturday, the stench was so overwhelming that I set Mr Beehive and Father of Mr Beehive about seeking out and obliterating the cause. Of course, we all knew that it wasn't the smell of a child's diaper that had been missed somewhere, nor was it the smell of a peanut butter sandwich slowly petrifying in a lunch box, it wasn't even Mr Beehive's sneakers with his socks still in them from the gym. The owner of the smell was in fact, now deceased and it was his rotting little corpse that we were privvy to sniff.

To cut a very long story short - some three hours later and all the contents of the cupboard as well as all the contents of my boxes had been removed, searched and replaced, including the ceiling coming down (I did get a free tidy up out of this so am not actually complaining!). All of this was to no avail. The critter was still somewhere in the cupboard.

In the end FOMB, who has somewhat of a bloodhound sense of smell, came to the conclusion that it was coming from behind the wall!! Dontcha just LOVE wooden houses ??

The suggestions all pretty much led to one conclusion by now, that was to smash a great big hole in the wall............hmmmmmm riiight!

This house is rented, so we knew that was out, instead Mr Beehive decided to fill all the cracks he could find in the cupboard with some "Ug- Me-Man-sealant" you know the kind, rather like the Pringles advert - "Once you've popped, you can't stop" . We are now living in tropical climates as every hole he could find in the house has been filled with this expanding filler that he enjoyed playing with so much.....

However, twenty minutes later there are two sheepish looking grown men standing in my living room with their fingers stuck together..............yes............BOTH of them! The intelligence of men, still defeats me beyond belief!

Did I have any nail varnish remover? They needed the acetone.

Problem is, I only buy acetone free..........

Ten minutes later sees Mr Beehive and FOMB driving off up the road adorning pretty pink marigolds to buy - yes, obviously, nail varnish remover! I just hope they met someone they knew!!

As for the mouse, well he was never found and the smell is diminishing thanks to good old tea tree oil and Bicarb of soda! I just hope that Mr Beehive and FOMB at least find their ermaining dignity!!!

Bittersweet

It has been rather a mixed weekend.

Today was Little Miss Beehive's third birthday but unfortunately this morning we were informed that Mr Beehive's grandmother had passed away. It wasn't totally unexpected, but it is always a shock, however much in advance you know. We have my in-laws here at the moment, so as a mark of respect this evening we lit an extra candle on the birthday table.

R.I.P. Mop.

Aah, ga-waaan you know you wanit, so you do!

They can take the girl out of the city......but they can't take the entrepreneur out of the salesman!

MB the elder is proving daily to be just such a stooge! His latest venture is his theatre group. He and some friends are practising the Lion King to perform to the parents early in the New Year. In all reality, it is a fantastic learning experience for them. The couple of parents that are "supervising" in the loosest sense of the word, are watching them direct, choreograph, sing, write lines, learn lines and work as a team with minimal adult intervention (okay gush over!) However, my darling boy is already working on the math involved - if we charge $2 per ticket. Of course, Mr Beehive da daddy, being the sceptic he is, is joking about just who is paying whom for the privilege to watch (only he is not entertaining this scathing to MB of course for fear of his marital and coital future!).

His previous venture before that was the one of publishing his book and selling it to his pals at school. This book is about 7cm by 4cm in physical being and roughly 6 pages length, with wording increasing in size by the page, so that by the last page there is nay but one word! It has helped me immensely with some surreptitious home-edding - "If you sell 6 books at 50c how much will you have?" yaddayadda - you can take the teacher out of the school........blah blah!

He is currently doing "Chores for Christmas". He wants to buy me a Christmas present - ahhh! But of course this means he will only perform his daily chores in the holiday period for a monetary reward !!! So either I forfeit the impending bubble bath in order to have a few more cleaned tables, fed dogs and dollars in my purse - or I give up and jump in the spirit of entrepreneurial endeavour!

So one of his more inventive ventures is a tag sale. In the US, a 'Tag Sale" is basically a garage sale, you sell the crap you don't want onto some unsuspecting sucker who is prepared to pay for it. MB the elder announces the other morning that this is what he wants to do..........NOW! This is November people. My fellow human beings are not even arisen from their slumber, the temperature is near 20F and he wants to stand in our drive selling crap for cents! Naturally I am not over enamoured with this suggestion and decide to see the pile he has gathered for this event before I pass comment on the continuation.........................

In the room is a pile of his sister's toys, along with his sister standing proudly mid piece!! I only hate to think what he has told her and whether she is actually part of the sale and I must only presume he has assigned himself a massive cut???!!!!

You've been Tango'd!

Look at this! It is like waiting for a number 11 bus. Nothing for days and then two at once!

Okay, so:
It is a fact of life that children learn language by repetition of what they hear. Problem is, when you start to hear yourself talk back to you.

I should have learned my lesson when Master Beehive the elder was just learning to speak and his first words pretty much were "Bloody Nora!"
Aghast and horrified I related this to Mr Beehive later that evening declaring indignantly I had absolutely no idea where he would have picked that up from, only to find myself not two days later using that exact same expletive when something fell from the cupboard. MB the elder was of course standing behind me giggling "Bloodynorabloodynorabloodynora!"

Over the years however, I have learned something and these days the mini-me-isms tend to be a little less Fishwifey!
We have been making brownies this morning and Little Miss Beehive and Master Beehive the younger have been helping me whilst Master Beehive the elder has been working on his magazine on the computer. As I was explaining to LMB why she needed to take off and hang up her apron after we had finished I heard:

"One!- it's dirty, Two!- mamasayso, Three! - wear my apron, Five!-wear my apron!" as she twirled around the kitchen, mimicking me and still wearing the apron.

Do I really sound like that?? I think I liked it better when they just used to swear!

Life at Speed!

If you have been wondering where I am, then obviously you haven't noticed the wonderful site change thanks to Mia at Blogcafe! Naturally I have been too stunned with the new graphics to get my brain to function rather than just too busy !!

So what has been going on in the Hive? We are currently anticipating the arrival of Grandparents today. This of course translates to hyper-over-excited-children-who-seem-unable-to-do-anything-for-periods-longer-than-a-nano-second this morning, without coming in to ask "Are they here yet?". To which I have to seriously restrain the sarcastic comments which would be lost on them: "Have you seen them?", "Wait, I'll just have Scotty beam them down" "They came, they went, you missed!" and all the other pathetic Chandleresque unwitty baggage I have stored up!
I have still to discover a solution to this, not the pathetic Chandleresque unwitty baggage (that, my friends, is where I am a lost cause!) but the Are they/we/he ....? questions, which, in my opinion, goes happily hand in hand with the other old chestnut the "Are we nearly there yet?" mantra!

I remember when I was young, my maternal grandmother often used to say "don't wish your life away". Of course as a young girl desperate to be older, do the things older people got to do, the world ahead of me, this just seemed like some old biddy talking nonsense and just trying to make me feel like a little girl. Of course, now I AM that old biddy, I wish time would just slow right down.

When Master Beehive the elder was a baby, I remember in the January standing in my kitchen with a friend and we were discussing how much we found the month depressing. Diaries were bare, we had nothing planned to do for the year - ohhh how would we cope.

Today, however, I find my diary tends to be booked up rather like a Broadway show. I may have a seat or two for a matinee 18 months down the line but it'll cost ya!

Life is flashing past so quickly and the three hours I have "free" each day when LMB is in school, tend to be choc-a-bl0c with errands, chores, appointments and meetings etc.

Of course, I nearly forgot! Last weekend was LMB's party. She is three on Sunday and so we had a small gathering of "pwincesses" to celebrate. As I mentioned, LMB had firm ideas over her cake, so being her mother, I felt it necessary to at least try to oblige! I am not a cake maker and, the very same friend who stood with me in my kitchen in January 2002 IS such a person, but unfortunately a nice Victoria Sponge doesn't tend to travel so well!! So I was resorted to my own exceedingly poor ability. This was the end result.



Luckily it remained standing just long enough for people to eat it before the landslide set in, so I guess the proof really was in the pudding that it didn't taste so bad! Or maybe people are just too polite to say anything!

Writing at Associated Content

So my latest venture is trying to earn a tiny bit of moolah for this drivel. Someone put me onto writing at associated content on t'interweb. Now, it would appear I am published .... yes, I know I have been published before, but this time there is wonga involved - enough for a tea bag and a cup of fingerless gloves to keep the frostbite away at least lol! Please visit my page for my more serious writings. You can subscribe and read other people too.

Trash talk

Apparently I am a bin snob!! - that is to say, according to Mr Beehive, I have quite an eye for a good trash can! I am not a fan of the plastic bin, end of! I know, they do their job, it is only a trash can after all but....weeellll.....it's a Feung Shui thing (kinda!) I have tried to explain Mr Beehive to the importance of "the right fit" by associating it with nylon versus cotton underwear........you know exactly what I mean - the static versus that smooth, fresh feeling.........but you can also fathom his male response.

We have been somewhat unlucky in our choice of garbage apparel over recent months, first finding that Peter Pedal bin's plastic mechanism was not compatible with his metal counterpart that he had to work against, the metal eroded the plastic, hence the lid stopped lifting. From there we moved onto Sally Snapper; a spring loaded lid opened by just a mere press of the hand.........three kids' enthusiasm and plenty of trash later, Sally's spring was engulfed by a mysterious spring illness and she too died a death. From there we moved onto Freddy Flaps.He would work by all means, no pedals, not a spring in sight - okay, so that was half the problem, he had a push front opening with a spring loaded close that ate your hand at first opportunity. Occasionally after a rather frenetic off load of garbage, his head would fall off entirely leaving not only that, but also a plate of leftovers all over the floor (and possibly a hand injury to boot!!). Not wanting to subject children to loss of limbs from this over enthusiastic garbage guzzler he was relegated to recycling bin!

Today, in his place, in shining finger-smudge-proof glory is Oscar!!! Our new-you paid WHAT? -perfect brushed chrome-Feung Shui-Buddha of all bins. I just hope he lasts the show! Otherwise he better have a good lawyer!

A scientific study into the similarities of toddlers and hobbits!

Don'tcha just love toddlers!

This afternoon Little Miss Beehive has had an accomplice to play! I use the term accomplice for that is exactly what they are together - Mastermind and accomplice lol! To be perfectly honest, I am really lucky that they get on so well, bear in mind they are not quite three yet and her little pal is happy enough to play here with LMB without her mom.

So, I picked them up from Montessorianaland and brought them back for lunch. They decided they would like pasta, so I set about preparing. Meanwhile, LMB has already set the table (there are sometimes perks with Montessori!) for herself and her pal and between them, filled themselves up with carrots, apple sauce, yoghurts, bananas and water You can guess what's coming - they didn't want the pasta (.......and sometimes annoyances lol!). Never mind, I thought, I will just save it for LMB's dinner.

Not an hour later and the house suddenly seems much quieter, where have they gone? I go to look to find the pair of them, huddled in a corner in cahoots, trying desperately hard to shove in and swallow as much of the pasta as they can muster. Second lunches!!

I had to laugh as their eyes are watering in the vain attempt to pretend they haven't eaten it!! Pippin and Merry you have met your match!

Talking of birthdays, LMB has her third birthday in a couple of weeks, so this weekend she is having a few friends over for a 'party'. I think that probably translates as having several smalls over to ransack the house, jump on the beds and smear food all over everywhere, the joys of finding petrified food months after the party has ended delights us parents the world over.......so, nothing new there then!!

Her brothers have been encouraging her to pick which cake she would like me to make from my limited cake book collection, the choices of which are usually quashed by my even more limited cake making abilities! (The stoned loch-ness always rears his ugly head at birthday times!) However, this time, she has excelled in her choice.......basically it is a cake with a doll stuck in the middle - imagine an edible loo roll dolly and you would be pretty much there.
So I have lots of scope for error and making a total hash of it and it still looking like it should!

As for what I am going to do with seven two/three year olds for two hours, well I think I will take a leaf out of Little Miss Beehive's book:

Start with an appetizer.

Jump on the bed.

Have second appetizers

Do a craft - got that bit organized at least!

Eat party tea and cake

Run madly around the house wearing a Belle dress, smearing cake on the walls and possibly vomiting (one child normally does don't they?).

Second teas

Go home!

As long as I have enough refreshment stops in there it should be easy peasy!! (Watch this space!)

I digress.........again!

How much of your day is spent not actually doing the things you set out to achieve? 10%, 25%, 90%?

I know I am in the higher percentage.

I always start the day with good intentions, but somehow along the way things always seem to deviate from the original path. Take this morning for example:

Main tasks of day:
Empty washing machine
Do washing up
Finish mincemeat
Do bread
Feed children
Help dress children
Make beds
Quick tidy up
Feed and exercise dog
Have shower and wash hair
Dry hair
Put clothes away from drying
Take one child to playdate
Pick up child from playdate
Feed children
Take children to school for babysitting whilst in conferences
Supervise piano practice
Prepare evening meal
Listen to reading
Feed children
Feed dog
Wash up or fill dishwasher
Bathe children
Read books
Put to bed


Thing is it looked like this:
Empty washing machine
Do washing up
Go around house and discover cups in bedrooms
Re-do washing up
Finish mincemeat
Realise jars have grown mould over the summer. Clean jars thoroughly and re-boil them
Burn breakfast whilst scrubbing mould.
Put dog out to exercise himself in the yard.
Re-start breakfast
Bring dog in due to barking at neighbour
Pour cereal
Put oatmeal in microwave
Pour more cereal because by the time child's oatmeal is ready other children are on round two.
Stir mincemeat - still smells burnt from yesterday.
All children finish, clear table, load and run dishwasher
Feed dog
Children all sent off to dress and clean teeth
Attempt to make phone call as it is quiet, no children.
10 seconds in, first child back wanting toast.
Second child in wanting to know if at 7.30am it is time for the playdate (this will then continue to happen every 10 minutes until 10am!!) Do very quick lesson in time telling (falls on deaf ears!!)
Hang up phone call and promise to call back.
Sort out issues
Notice toys strewn everywhere. Put in pile on the stairs ready to take up later.
Go back to kitchen, get out bowl to put bread mix into.
Call back person
Wash bowl as dog has chosen to lick it!
Notice star wars figures in the bottom of the soapy water and a trail of water out of the kitchen.
Find child #2 giving Star Wars storm troupers a bath in the sink in a concoction of handsoap, toothpaste and Aveeno.
Clean mess
realise haven't eaten, gone cold, forget it, give it to dog!
Go upstairs to supervise dressing of children - find they are all dressed - Belle costume and her brother's underwearfor LMB , shorts and nothing else for MB the elder and shorts and t-shirt for MB the younger. Decide to pick my battle and ignore this for now!
Download e-mails and answer important ones, but this is not before removing a pound coin from the disc drive and re-starting the computer saying a prayer it'll work and isn't f***ed!!
MB the elder finds me and asks if he can have a tag sale NOW! Debate this issue with him at 7.40am in the morning. Come to a mini compromise. On talking with him, realise he and his siblings have made a huge pile of random toys in the middle of his room to sell. Give up on e-mails to tidy up the toys and re-explain why a tag sale now is not an option.
Have shower. Get locked in the bathroom (LMB is up to her old tricks!). Yell profusely for 5 minutes for resuce, until one rugrat finally hears me and opens the door for me!
Put away clothes in various rooms, picking up odd socks and toys as I pass. Return to bedroom to put away next pile to find LMB has dutifully rearranged all the piles for me. Start again!
Look at clock realise that it is now only 15 minutes until the playdate and haven't dried hair. Quickly show my hair the dryer and pull a hat on!
Realise bread is still 'rising' in the cupboard - ignore it, it'll stay there until lunchtime! ***

And so the day continues!!

I read the otherday that the average wage for a SAHM has gone up to around $139,000 and over $80,000 for a working mother (ex. her salary!). Shame it's just monopoly money!

*** ETA: Don't EVER leave bread longer than the recommended rise time....my washing machine was wearing it! Remember the story of the magic porridge pot.......nuff said!

Arty Farty Monkey Business

Today has been a crafty day.

I have made mincemeat ready for pies at Christmas and then have made some of these little guys for party favours for Little Miss Beehive's party next week.

I really struggle to find affordable, non-candyfied, non-plastic toys to go into bags and was put onto this really simple pattern to make some felt mice. See he even has a little sleeping bag to snuggle into!

I only have to make seven by next weekend!!

On other subjects, today has surely been a conspiracy!

Little Miss Beehive has managed to sniff me out of any area I have managed to hide in meaning I have actually managed to make no phone calls and the one exception I began, had to end due to a kerfuffle breaking out in the ranks (Tell me, despite two parents, why is it the only name ever used is 'Muuuuuuum'???!!!!!!!) and I am struggling now to string two words together! Whilst I was trying to make dinner at midday, she also decided that the piles of leaves from the front step would look much nicer inside and up the stairs. This went unnoticed for a good ten minutes, so you can imagine the amount of serious work she managed to get through in that time! I managed to quickly clear it up in between stirring gravy, only to have Master Beehive the younger step on a bee that must have come in with the leaves which I had missed!!!! Fortunately this Bee was not allergic to his own kind, which was a mighty relief!!

The bread I started to make for tea this evening turned out to need 12 - 15 hours to rise........hence we are now eating a different recipe tonight and the ciabatta will be ready tomorrow! I decided to make this ciabatta after sampling the most delicious ever last night at a supper and presentation/discussion I went to. The daughter of the host had made the best tasting bread I have ever eaten. The crust was really crunchy and the middle, just perfect!! So I felt the need to try some of my own.......hmm, I think I will just have to get the recipe from Margaret instead!

Mr Beehive the spaz, has managed to burn the bottom of my pan in which the mincemeat was nicely marinading in Brandy by trying to make a cup of tea and turning on the wrong ring under the kettle.....fortunately I have managed to salvage most of it, but I have no idea if the nice burnt flavour will get into the rest.

Whilst at the discussion last night, one thing that came up is that the brain of the man has more in common with the male chimp than with the female human and the same is true of the female brain........well, I guess it's better to know who you're dealing with! Pass the bananas!

A little nuttiness

On weekends I like to cook. There is nothing more relaxing to me than pottering about in the kitchen trying out or making up new recipes. It also comes to the rescue when I am suffering from writer's block due to lack of sleep.

This was self-induced this time!! Last night I went out with some of the ......hmm, ladies makes us sound old and believe me, we were far from that in mind and soul last night; girls.....sounds condescending and mums.....well we went out to escape that word for a while, so perhaps I should just rephrase it to 'some good friends from school'. We went out to dinner and then later the restaurant was hosting a band, the lead singer of which, one of our group knows personally. It was fantastic fun, I had no idea how much I was in need of a night like that, I was even up on the dance floor (yup! regretted that this morning lol!) 'finding my funk' (apparently, according to Heather, I have one to find but I think it might be a lost cause!). The night didn't really begin until 10pm so by 11.30 some of us olds with young bedhoppers back at base station, decided to call it a night. I have no idea what time the rest of the group finally abandoned ship, but we left them shaking their booties - you know who you are you stop outs!!

So hence, today I am not able to do much. Instead here is a recipe that I made this afternoon, just perfect for a windy, cold autumnal day with a roaring log fire:

Veggienut loaf

2 large carrots (diced)
2 sticks of celery (diced)
1 onion (diced)
2 cloves of garlic
2 handfuls pistachio nuts (unsalted and not roasted)
2 handfuls of plain cashew nuts
2 handfuls of raw sunflower seeds
3 oz (ish!) Gorgonzola cheese
2 eggs (beaten)
salt and pepper
1/2 tsp oregano

Lightly fry the onion, celery, carrot and garlic until golden brown and soft.
Chuck the nuts (NOT the seeds) into the food processor and give them a couple of quick whizzes to break them down into smaller pieces. Don't turn them into breadcrumbs though!
Put the nuts, whole sunflower seeds into a mixing bowl and add the fried veggies. Add the sunflower seeds and chopped pieces of cheese. Stir well to combine. Add the two beaten eggs, salt, pepper and oregano and mix until all the food is coated with the egg and it makes a soft consistency.

Grease one large or two small loaf tins.
Put the mixture into the tin/s and press down well.

Cook in a 375F oven for around 25 - 30 mins until the top is golden brown.

Enjoy!

Wherever I lay my brain......

Have you seen my nosey-parker tool?

Scroll down the toolbar and there is a world map.

It shows me where you lot are bored so are plugging in to read my blog. I am not entirely sure it shows everyone though as I know I have a friend in Singapore who reads my blog and she doesn't appear to have a nice red blob. The bigger the blob the more views (now it doesn't determine whether it is just the same person or not though, but it is good to see that there are more folk out there than my mum who read this drivel!)

So:
Hello in Chile, Australia, Cape Town Turkey, Canada, US, UK, Norway (?)this is where my geography is getting a little sketchy.

Tonight I have been to school (yup again - I swear I attend more now as a parent than I was ever required to do as a kid!). It was an information night for Elementary (upper and lower) and Middle school. Each teacher was required to give us a lesson on something and later we were able to ask questions. I always love these events because I find I learn so much, not just about Montessori, but about things I never knew. Did you know, the first dinosaurs had two brains? One in their head and the other in their bum!!?? Quite obviously a prototype of man, from which some have evolved faster than others!! It gives quite a delightful meaning to the phrase, talking out of his hole !!

Talking of design, I am getting a new look!! As of Monday I will be quite unrecognizable! My blog is getting a make over so prepare yourselves - sorry, nearly wrote 'self' but on checking on my infinite readership (ho ho!) I appreciate I am rambling to more than one now!!

Anyway, I digress! My question for the evening, had a hidden agenda, not that it would have been remotely obvious to even the most asleep person on the planet (ho hum!) was about the child who may be slow to move through his work cycles, be more of an observer and dreamer (didn't use that word, didn't want to GIVE myself away after all, that would just be silly!) than participant and how they would become self motivated. The question, as usual, beautifully answered, was about capturing the imagination with the materials in the class, developing the curiosity to enable them to want to research and explore more. Of course, to be perfectly frank, the question had been answered for me not 20 minutes earlier..............

Who could not resist researching on dinosaur brains, knowing where they hid them!!!??

I don't think I will have to worry that Master Beehive the younger won't be self-motivated!!