Ad hoc home education

So, today has been another snow day. I have decided to blog our day in pictures instead of words! Words are something that I need the time to think about, pictures on the otherhand, speak for themselves.

Illustrating stories!

Maths and counting!

Home economics !!

Physical Ed - extreme sport style, this is called "snowyfirtree climbing"!

Construction work and computer editing!!!

Art - snow angels!

Currently it is 11 am and I have run out of inspiration! They are currently watching Muzzy in Spanish (ooh tick the languages box!) I think I might teach them shapes later this afternoon, by using my laundry - "this is how to fold a square/triangle" !! and then maybe a quick science lesson in how heat is made when I light the fire LOL! I expect there will be music at some point and then probably a big lesson on the importance of sleep at an early hour!!

The Oscars!

Sorry I haven't posted, got snapped on the red carpet last night dahling!! What do you think? Very Mary Quant! This was after my "maycup" lady made me up yesterday after I had been to "ogre"!! I think she is telling me something!

For Sale!!!

I have:

Exhibit A: Slightly soiled model of a 2000 male comes with dirt stains, one scar on his back and a couple from chicken pox. Engine tends to wine when it doesn't work the way it was meant to or wanted to. Guzzles gas like there is no tomorrow, but will run on fruit and veg so makes for pretty cheap living! Makes a lot of noise, but is good at self entertainment, can be left for short intervals while buyer goes to pee! Can be sensitive and appears 6 going on 76, but don't be fooled by the gob!! This one actually will tidy up and has a great sense of humour. Hasn't had a haircut in a while so might need some moderation for the right buyer!


Exhibit B: A newer and louder version, this one is a 2002 male. Finger sucking cleanaphobe with a hatred for all things edible and green. Only works on "Manyana" setting and occasionally "stop" setting. "Fast" and "helpful" settings broke in childbirth!! Has a wonderful vocabulary of excuses "I need to pee", "I am tiiiiiiiiiired", "my legs don't work". Has long floppy hair , a cute face and a permanent desire to be butt naked. Very cuddly! Oh, this one is slightly visually impaired and wears glasses that make him so darned cute you won't be able to stay mad at him for long!!!!!!!

Exhibit C: The only female version in this series. A late 2004 model that comes with all pink accessories. Loves "maycup" and "me-lips". Eats anything that moves so beware, can be fatal! Is semi house-trained and loves using the "toylet" but be warned, has a fart that can kill! Unfortunately she has a serious speech impediment substituting "tr" for "f" so can be somewhat embarassing in supermarkets when she shouts about her new "tracking boots" or if she sees a truck go past. This model is particularly fast, moreso than the earlier models, she can move from one area of destruction to the next like a small tornado. She can do wonderous things with soap and keyholes, permanent marker and wallpaper and this one comes with a four legged partner in crime.......which I will throw in for FREE!!!!!!!!

Stories my son needs......and words my daughter doesn't!

As some of you know this blog not only re-lives the "out of the mouth of babes" comments that I experience being the mama of three talkative smalls, but also, occasionally, I drop in a more serious post, or something a little theoretical open for discussion. Today is a more serious post, albeit I AM going to start with this little gem from I.

If you have been reading the last couple of entries, you will know that she has been struggling with tr and f, getting them mixed up. This lunchtime we were putting on our outdoor stuff to meet friends for lunch. The boys have just been bought some "trekking boots" which they LOVE to wear and take even bigger pride in telling everyone that that is exactly what they are "trekking boots". We also bought a pair of similar style for I.

"Mama...........where my f***ing boots?"

It still needs SEEEEERRRRIous work!

Now to the science bit!!

______________________________________________

I have been introduced to a great little resource, that I personally feel would do well on the shelf of any parents with sons: "What stories does my son need?" by Michael Gurian. Yes, the same guy I rambled on about a few posts back!!

This is a book that loosely guides parents in their choices of books and movies that build character in their sons. It is not, I feel, without it's flaws:

1. It is American, so maybe some of the movies in particular, would be different choices in the UK?

2. It is not a finite list, there may also be (as he states) other books/movies that build similar character, new books come out all the time, maybe some children (my T. is one) who may not be ready for a certain movie or book at the designated time span.

3. Some of the books are now movies which are NOT on the same level as the book, so to exchange one for the other would be a mistake: Bridge to Terabithia (albeit i haven't seen it) I understand is one such book.

I think it is an ongoing book that I know I may add to and also edit if I feel certain books/movies inappropriate, but it is a great tool. I have actually bought my mum, sister and a girlfriend with a son a copy each too!

So; one of the movies recommended for T's age is E.T. Initially I wasn't sure that it would be appropriate, bearing in mind that although this child has a "reading age" of an 8/9 year old, his movie repetoire is much younger.

The book (WSDMSN?) has discussion points for after the movie or book that helps your child to think more deeply about the emotions of the characters, hopefully building up character.

With E.T. the idea is that the boys will start to think about the friendship that Elliot has with ET, maybe think about whether the government officials who try to capture E.T are "bad", how long distance friendships can be maintained (one of the reasons I chose this movie obviously!) and build up empathy for the characters rather than seeing it as "goodies and baddies fight aliens and each other end of!"

Now, bear in mind, my boys like to ask questions, so I hoped that it would be easy to talk about the movie afterwards..........however, the questions started at the opening credits and didn't finish once the screen went blue.......... "How is this going to happen.?" "Why is he.......?" "What is going.........?" Breathe, breathe but OMG.the.non.stop.questions aaaggghhhh!!!!!!!

Anyway, back to the topic in hand..........

W. is somewhat of a combateer, and after watching the movie, which they found sad but still liked it, T. decided to go and write the next chapter of a book he is working on (this chapter is suitably titled "Al meets E.T") , W. came through with his wooden sword saying he was going to play "E.T fights the bad men". Ugh! Not really what I wanted to hear........but it so beautifully lead us to a great discussion about how E.T. really did "fight" the government guys, how he had the best "weapon" of all, he had a Friend. Having a friend in Elliot who was prepared to help him to the very end was the best form of "sword". He didn't need to raise his fists but they did it together as a team.

I strongly feel that what kids watch (and to a certain extent read) does influence their behaviour, maybe negatively outright ie: fighting, bullying etc, but also less obviously such as showing a lack of empathy to others, an inability to express themselves, a lack of emotion because "boys are tough". I am not suggesting for a second that I am going to censor all my kid's viewing forevermore and edit their reading because I am not, but I hope that having family movies together and discussing their reading material (also providing appropriate stuff) I can help them make good choices and use their knowledge of "good" media to inspire to or find their own ideas, thus hopefully encouraging them to be compassionate men, (and women of course, mustn't forget my daughter in this!).

If you haven't read this book, or for that fact, any of Michael Gurian's work, I would strongly recommend you try one. He isn't preachy or self-righteous, he writes in a way that you can pick up and put down ( a necessity with smalls!) and don't need a degree in psychology to understand.


Yours inspiringly
The Beehive

Kissing the cow!

This morning we have been out sledding, which was great fun! The snow has frozen over the top, so we have our own ice rink out there! But alongside getting cold and wet goes the added bonus, that mama like to warm us up with hot cocoa......specially frothed with her new toy,! (I got sent a free mini frother thing from Boden - It's fab, coffee shop be warned!!)

Of course, the kids being off school (again!!!!!!!!!) we are trying to find new things to do however,that means yet more bread has been made courtesy of moi and I. Soon after kneading the bread and letting it rise I decided to make the tomato sauce for the pasta at lunch time. This therefore meant that I was unable to do carry I. around for a while, which she wanted (I suppose I could have gotten the Ergo from the car but I wasn't thinking!)

She took umbridge at this and made me feel horrid by crying and saying "uppy uppy", but I couldn't lift her up as I was using a very sharp knife and dealing with hot stuff on the stove top.

We have all been there, the demands of smalls at the most inappropriate time and normally I. is pretty amenable and can be distracted by a large marker and the wall should it be required (!!). This morning was not one of those days, she would not be comforted.

So, crying child attached to my leg, playdate due to arrive (his mom is one of the teachers at school - that would look good, me shaking a 2 year old off my leg whilst I try to juggle a cleaver and hot tomatoes; "sure I can be trusted to look after your son and not kill him for an hour!!), dog joining in on the fun and the consistent pounding of the cooped up monkeys running around like banshees upstairs........you get the picture.

I: "Mommy moo-kiss"

Me: What do you mean? Where is the cow? A Moo Kiss?

I: (sob, sniff, gulp) Moo-kiss me

Me: I'm sorry sweetheart, I don't understand (thinking, is she calling me a cow, is it a new form of snogging????)

I turn around to be greeted by a small red, wet creature dutifully showing me a string of trailing snot from her nose to her finger.............

Oh!!! MU-cus!!

Right, let's get a tissue!

Snottily yours
The Beehive

For Julie in Spain!

Affectionately yours,

The Beehive

Down with Groundhogs and up with valium!!!

Damn that wretched little rodent!!!

Like he couldn't have stayed asleep a little longer!
For those of you who don't have the first clue what I am whittling about then I will put you in the light:
Punxsutawney Phil is a groundhog, also known as a woodchuck or whistle pig, basically he is a furry rodent about the size of a small otter/cat who hibernates in the winter. On Feb 2nd, (Groundhog day - yes, like the film!) if he is spotted coming out of hibernation and can see his shadow then there will be six more weeks of winter, if he can't, then spring is coming. Apparently no-one told this chap that if he stands under a tree, then the sun won't get to him.....tada, no shadow, so THANK YOU PHIL!! We today, have a snow day! Okay, so it isn't so much snow as another sneeze, but more is forecast for later, so I suppose shutting the school was inevitable!

Yes, valentine's day, the day of Luuuurrrve, I am luvin' it large at home with Les Enfants, who are currently making "red-food" shopping lists as I hastily agreed, after #1 son made me pancakes and strawberries (with Daddy's help) for breakfast, to making them a "red lunch" which is what they were going to be doing at school today. It was a moment of madness!!!!!!!!

So to end this little ramble, I want to dedicate this poem* to the rodent who is leading me to the bottle of chilling vino this evening (luckily I went to yoga last night so I won't feel so bad about a glass of wine!!)

*Disclaimer - I am NOT a poet and this following pile of crap may significantly improve AFTER the aforementioned wine later!!! But for now, read at your peril!

Dear Punxsutawney Phil,
I write with a request,
If you aren't sure what the winter holds
Stay quiet in your nest!

Don't be such a bloke
who can't say "I don't know"
but has to give an answer
that lands an inch of snow.

I'm freezing off me bits,
Sitting in the house
The heating is up full
And I cannot feel me t**s

My toes have turned to ice
My hands a shade of blue
The kids are running wild off school
I don't know what to do

The cleaner's stuck in a drift
The coffee shop is shut
I'm sick to death of Nemo
I can't even walk the mutt!

Playdo is stuck to the walls
Paint is on the floor
Toys are strewn upstairs and down
My head is feeling sore

Accept you ain't a clue,
Fame's not what it seems
An honest pig we'd rather have
Than one that makes us scream!

So Phil I say to you
On the next Groundhog day
If you don't know the truth, say nothing at all
Or Xtermahog might come your way!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Planes, Frains and a whole load of green stuff!!

Some of my biggest chuckles come from conversations we have in the car: Here is another one!

So, the background to this is that whilst T was at his piano lesson this evening, W, I. and I went to the organic shop to get our vitamin supplies and some raw cane sugar. The kids had had a drink and a snack beforehand, but the shop sells rather nice smoothies, unfortunately the guy had stopped making them for the day, so I chose a drink from the fridge, tropical fruit flavoured, full of energy, greens, vitamins - a real power boost.

On opening this drink, much to my disappointment it was, to coin an phrase my kids love,"yukky"!!!

W: Let me try!

Me: You won't like it.

W: Please?

Me: Okay then.........(handing him the drink)

W takes the drink and determined to prove me wrong, takes a huge swig - fatal mistake. This stuff is like a cross between Borox and stale straw!!!!!! Fortunately he was in such shock from his error that he swallowed the stuff rather than reflexing it back over the car, which is a relief as I don't think we have any paintstripper in the house!!!!!

I: Me try, me try

Me: Okay then, W. hand it to I please.

I pulls the most ridiculous face, but then comes back for more. Yes this one is a little crazy, she turned down a green jelly the other day (thank goodness) in favour of fruit.

When we pick T up he decides he wants in on this game too, so he also attempts to drink it.....to the same effect!!

T: So what's in it?

Me: Here's the label, tell us!!

T: green alfalfa shoots, broccoli spears, kale, spinach, irish moss.........IRISH MOSS??? wheat grass, barley grass juice, beetroot greens......... (etc etc - you get the idea)

W: What's Irish Moss?

T: you know, that stuff that grows outside on the ground

Me: Yup, like cabbage and spinach and grass.........(being facetious obviously!)

T: No, don't be silly, it grows by the water so it is disgusting.

Me: Well Cranberries grow IN water, they grow in bogs, we will see some when we go up to the Cape this summer.

W: How old will I be then mama? Will I be 7?

Me: No, you'll be four

W: Six then?

Me: No, four!

W: Ohhhhhhhhh (said with real disappointment!) I can't eat any then and I really wanted to try some.

Me: Why can't you eat them?

W: I am on a diet.

Me: You are? What diet is that then W?

W: I am not allowed to eat fruit or vegetables until I am seven!

Nuff said methinks!



_____________________________________________________

In the bath:

We have recently bought some new bath toys. These include a foam road set that sticks to the tiles. In this set are a load of vehicles. I. is now pretty coherent most of the time, she has long sentences, I am pretty lucky (so far, knock on wood !!) that her tantrums are fairly minimal as I think the fact she is able to express herself may have a lot to do with it.

We have in the aforementioned set a:

car
airplane
mo-bike
frain
boat
van
and a
F**k!!!

We are working so hard with her on this slight mispronunciation. There are many words that have come out of the mouths of our three that we have let go because, let's be honest, it's cute!!!!!

But:

"Can me have the big f**k ?" is not!!!!!

Yours phonetically

The Beehive

Behind the wheel

Conversation between les enfants on the way home from school today:
* disclaimer - NONE of my children have seen Star Wars, Sleepy Hollow OR Scooby Doo!!!

T: Do you remember Star Wars W?

W: Yeah!

T: I like the bit in Star Wars where the spaceship lands on Daft Vader's head

W: Oh Yeah, and how his face turns into Luke Skywalker - that is sooooo cool.

T: Have you seen Sleepy Hollow?

W: What one is that? Is that Scooby Doo?

I: Skoooooby Doooo, Skooby Doo............ (sung to the tune of Jingle Bells!)

T: No, it is the scary one.

W: Oh Yeah! I've seen that. (To me) Mum, do we have Sleepy Hollow?

Me: Yes we do, but you haven't seen it.

W: Oh yeah, that's right. Can I watch it?

Me: Uh, No!

T: It is far too scary for you (this is my son who is scared of Monsters Inc, Toy Story, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty..........the list is endless - he even hides at the start of Finding Nemo!)

W: We could watch Muzzy?

I: Muzzy, Muzzy, Muzzy, Muzzy....................

this continues until we get home..........you get the idea!

Welcome to Walnut Grove!

CLICK HERE!!!!!

It is done!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, after two years, several hours of cussing, lots of pulling out and starting again.........a real labour of love.........it is finished.

Fortunately he didn't outgrow it before I finished it, which was my main concern, and despite the fact it looks somewhat primitive and beginnger-like and my obliging little guy put it on this morning and said,

"You have a jumper like this *(pause)* Is this for GEEERRRRRLS?" in his american drawl, he has happily continued wearing it.

Thank god for that! I had set myself up for him losing interest in it before it was done and refusing to like it or........worse still..........wear it! I was going to be all calm and nonchalant about it, after all, he is only 4. But lucky for me, he is pretty easy going! Thanks kiddo!

The next project is for T. He is less obliging and more direct about what he likes and doesn't like.I have chosen a relatively simple pattern which was being sported by a pretty cool guy in the book holding a skateboard and the jumper has a name "Woody". So far he is happy about this, albeit it doesn't actually COME with the skateboard, which was a bit of a let down. I have enough wool to do the age 6 - 7 years..........so I really DO have to work fast this time!

Why am I doing this? I have no idea. TBH, it is cheaper to buy a ready made jumper than the yarn to make one.......but there is this sense of pride and achievement in thinking that you have made what is on their backs.

Speaking of making stuff and domestic bliss, yesterday we made bread. No, not with a bread maker......the real Macoy, I don't have a bread maker. I remember the Saturdays when my mum used to make a loaf or two and leave them to rise in our airing cupboard. I personally can't see the point in a bread maker, you lose the team spirit that is involved in making bread. Throwing in the ingredients and leaving the thing to stir, knead and cook without me around is more effort than buying an organic loaf and certainly a helluva lot less fun!! Both I. and W. helped me and I have to say, it turned out the best loaf I have made in a long time, probably due to W.'s Tae Kwon Do moves he did on the dough!

Bread and Beer, two of the finest uses for yeast ever discovered! Even starchy Caroline Ingalls must agree with that!! Oh and by the way, for those die-hards out there........it so happens that Laura Ingalls was closer to a hobbit than she was a twee young lass in the nice wooden house with it's sloping roof........they didn't live there! Apparently they lived in a sod (a cave pretty much) somewhat like Bilbo Baggins!!!!!!

So, I have taken off my pinny, removed my bonnet, put the buggy away in the barn, sat down to fresh bread and dripping with the prairie train bells in the distance......... for now........

and if you made it this far with the music...........bet that made you feel all warm and cuddly!!!

Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou........whaddidyousayhisnamewasagain?

My middle son is a charmer - or so it appears!.

Frequently when I go to pick him up from school I hear little cries of "Hi W." from small adoring fans. He, on the other hand, offers a suitably caveman grunt, to which they giggle, flutter their eyes and try to get him to talk to them!! I have been stopped by mothers on occasions telling me how their daughter talks a lot about W. and how much she likes him etc...

I have even been approached by a mom at the school asking if she could use him as a model for some photography as she is a children's photographer........apparently he caught her eye at the Primary mom's morning at school a couple of weeks ago, where he swanned into the class with me in tow wearing his purple shirt, tie, red jeans (yes, I know, he likes to chose his own clothes!!) and mop of "just got out of bed" hair, which on that morning was looking particularly wild and rampant (OMG?!)

Now for those of you that don't know him, this appears to be a blog entry by a bragging mother, but for those of you that DO know him, will know that this is just so W. He always looks like he has been dragged through a hedge backwards, clothes on back to front and mismatching, hair all over the shop, but he has huge mischevious eyes and tricks and temperament to match and he really would let this admiration roll over him. A true "free spirit".

Anyhow, this morning, after he went off to school once again, this time for Primary Dad's morning, his fan club started up ( I am contemplating putting in a request for a salary as his Personal secretary!)

Firstly he is called on the phone from LONDON by his best friend (these two are joined at the hip I kid you not!) who had been in Norway for the last couple of days and wanted to say hi!! Then, when the mail arrives, there is a package for my four year old Lothario much to the disgust of his older brother! Inside it contains a painted stone in the shape of a heart and a candle from Ayleen with her (obviously, burning, ha ha) love!

So as is in the Beehive, we playfully tease him about his girlfriend, asking him about her as she is in his class at school. He joins in the laughing, taking it all in the spirit it is intended, this continues for a few minutes, us ribbing, him egging us on, when suddenly he stops laughing and becomes deadly serious......................

"Who on earth IS she?" he asks.

So it goes like this.........

This morning I am trying to write a magazine article on Montessori education and attachment parenting it goes something like this:

9.00 type

9.10 doorbell goes - landlady arrives to measure for a new washing machine

9.45 type

9.46

T. "Is it snack time yet?
M "15 minutes okay, I just have to get the first paragraph done.
T "Ok!"

9.47

type

9.48
T "Do you have some paper?"
M "Yes, what colour do you want and can you then just get on for 15 minutes as I need to think about this?"

9.50

type

9.51

Dog starts barking outside, I continue trying but lose my train of thought. Go down to let in the dog.
Run back up to office.

9.55

type,

9.59

T comes in again

"You said 15 minutes."
"Okay, I am coming"

Go down for snack and coffee after having written a total of about 30 words in 3/4 of an hour!

10.15

Return to type

10.16
T comes in again

"Where are my shorts?"
"What?"
"I want to practise my Tae Kwon Do and can't find my shorts" he is standing there in his boxers
*sigh* heavily
"Can't you wear your underpants?"
He runs off

10.17

type

10.18

T back in within 1 minute

Me "WHAT????????"
T "Do you have my scout book?"
"Which scout book, T I am trying to write and it is really hard when you keep interupting me because I forget what I am typing." (believe me, that isn't hard either!)
T "The white one and then I won't disturb you again."
"Ok" handing him the file

10.19

type,

10.19
30 seconds

T "These are all the jelly beans I want to get...." he starts rattling off from a list, every bloody jellybean on the bloody planet!!!!!!!

me "Aaaagggghhhhh - please, please, please go and do something I will be finished soon if you let me start. You can eat candy, smoke some drugs, set fire to something, use my credit card, buy a motorbike if you just frickin' GOOOOOOOOO and let me get on!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
(ooops this is the bit in the article where I am writing about being emotionally responsive !) okay so I didn't actually SAY the last sentence, just thought it!!!

T comes back in after 10 seconds.

"I think I am ready to go back to school now."

"OMG! Yes, you probably are, but you can't this week as you need to be totally right. Have you not got anything you can do right now? How about a book?"

He wanders off..........

10.20
I slam my head on the wall and close my work down for the day........time for another coffee I think!

Time elapsed 1 hour 20 mins,
Total words written: about 100

Bad Mom's Club - anyone welcome!!

Today I feel a little sheepish. Partly due to lack of sleep, which in turn has meant that my "mummy" intuition has not been properly switched on today.

Yesterday I was at an induction which started at 6am and I crawled into bed this morning at 3.30am (okay, so that is a whole different story which I expect I will let you into later on !). During the birth yesterday, I was called by the assistant in T's class to say he was complaining of earache and could I come and get him? Her actual words were "he is whining a lot"!! (okay, so that riled me for a start, he has earache, he is six.........I am closer to 36, I think I would whine!, but you know, complain might have been a less derogatory word, maybe it was lost in translation!?) ANYWAY, digression aside, I had to ask her to phone R as I was mid birth and couldn't get away. It turned out, she didn't ring him, but I did.........they had given him some pain killer (with my acknowledgement and approval) and he was "fine" when R. picked him up half an hour later.
He continued to be fine for the rest of the evening.......so this morning after I have had less than 2.5 hours sleep, he is complaining of being weak, having a headache, being sore on his shoulder (no earache though!) I wasn't up for this........I know, slate me now!
Problem is.; last week on the same day, he pulled the same trick from the bag. I went rushing up to pick him up from school, feeling highly sorry for him, to take himn home to him then running around the house telling me he was fine.........you know the story of the boy who cried wolf right?

So I officially join the bad momma's club today. He ISN'T right today and YES I have kept him off school, he is actually asleep as I type, but even if he didn't have earache this morning, he probably has it now from my "whining" at him.......and now, the phone has just rung and W is running a low grade fever....so I am off to get him and I. !!!

10.49am
All are in bed!

______________________

So while things are quiet for a while, I have one other vent to get of my chest; WHAT IS IT WITH ANESTHETISTS???????????? Okay, I will slightly change that - what is it with Labour and Delivery Anesthetists? Why is it that out of the several I have met, all bar maybe one has fitted into one or more of the following categories?

1. Downright rude!

2. Thinks they are the Saviour

3. Has no regard for informing patients of both benefits and risks of epidural

4. Watches far too much TV, in particular adverts for prescription drugs, and has taken lessons from the same school of "read the small print at top speed in a condescending voice without pausing for breath or changing intonation so that no one has a hope in hell of hearing or understanding what you are talking about" when talking to clients.

5. Isn't sure if they are man or dog and therefore has to bark at everyone in the room.

6. Went to the same customer service school as the Post Office staff!

????????????????????????????????????????????

Last night's delight came in the form of Fred Flintstone himself. So not only could no-one hear what he was saying when he was reading the risks and side effects paperwork, he was reading
it so fast and mumbling into his beard, no-one would have understood him anyway due to the occasional "uhhhhh WILMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAA". My client had done so well, but at last exam was 5cm and decided (she had been at 5 for some 6 hours!!) that she needed
an epidural after her water was broken. The contractions were coming much faster, stronger and longer during this time, of course, usual story, no-one checked her before the epidural was put in, so ..Oh deja vu.... when the epidural was being put in she suddenly felt the urge to push.........I wasn't in the room by this time due to Fred's order of "YOU! Wait outside!" - Okay, woof!! Guess what folks, epi is in........10cms!!

I dunno. I am seriously losing heart with it all. We had a wonderful team for the majority of the labour...........but it is all down to the team. I think the place you birth at, here in particular, is of less consequence than the team you have. We had a great team, letting mom walk around the corridors, intermittently monitoring......following her lead and needs. This had the approval and encouragement of the nurses and her OB. Later when the shift changed we were landed with a nurse who obviously disapproved of this practice...........we were told it "wasn't protocol," "the OB didn't know the protocol here", "if we walk, god forbid something might happen in the corridor......." OMG like she might have a baby????????????? And icing on the cake.....the severely underweight, potentially compromised baby who was induced 3 weeks early because they felt she wasnt' big enough............was a healthy 5lb9oz at 37 weeks!!! So hell, she wasn't going to be 10lbs at term, but I would say that a potential 7lb baby is enough for most!

I would LOVE to write about a birth that totally inspires and encourages me, I would also LOVE to not get so personally involved in it...............is that what is the driving force behind a doula? To feel that you can make some kind of difference (although DO we with our hands tied behind our backs?) or that we feel emotionally with these new parents to strive to achieve a great experience for them in such a medical situation??????? I was thinking about this last night whilst standing like a naughty school girl in the corridor. The only thing I could think of that kept popping into my mind to keep me fired up was a famous quote by Gandi I think "Be the change that you want to see in the world". So okay, maybe it isn't going to happen this time, with this family or this birth, but maybe..........it will happen next time, with her friend, or her second baby or..........maybe the change will be my own children who live these births with me and ask questions and learn?????

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Now to round off an exceptionally long ramble today..........more of a hike than a ramble........
..we have our good friends coming over to stay with us again in March this year. We have decided that we are all going to go up to Niagara together..........woohoo road trip!! I am so excited. It is funny, we actually have our trip to Arizona BEFORE then, but I am all psyched about this trip!! I don't know what it is about road trips that are so much fun?? I think it
stems back to my childhood when our parents would drive to France. We would pack the
car the night before and then get a really really early crossing, so we would have to get up at
say 2am in the morning, which to my sister and I, was such an adventure. This has the same thrill.........all holed up in a car, on the road, taking time to relax and chat..........


BAMMMMMMMMMM




Sorry, that was me being hit by reality!!

Three smalls holed up for a 6 hour trip.......... ?????????????

We have finally relented and looked into getting a DVD player for the car. There are only so many road I-spy and numberplate games you can play with a 6, 4 and 2 year old, only so much crowd control or negotiation I can do from the front seat with at twisted neck. Borders has no more dot to dot books left and I simply cannot let I. have a free reign in close proximity to a marker or pencil in the car for longer than 30seconds and I run out of songs after 2 hours, oh and I think maintaining my sanity might have to fit in there somewhere too!!! So see, a downward spiral, I start on the road to bad mommadom..........and finish with buying a square nanny!!

So this is dedicated to all of you bad mommas out there who have not yet had coffee this morning, have been woken more than once in the night by small offspring wanting you to fight dragons under the bed, have turned the TV on for half an hour because you have run out of "earth-mothery" ideas for the day and it isn't even noon, have fed them last night's take away for breakfast because you have forgotten to get *milk,*bread*cereal*food of any sort at all,
have said "Not Now Bernard!" or "In a minute" more than once today and then forgotten totally about it until small said child has (delete as appropriate)
*wet pants,*been late for school or other event, *has taken to telling the dog all about their story/adventure/plans to eliminate mummy if she doesn't take notice, *cut their hair,*painted the walls with permanent marker *add your own!!
Mamas, today - I salute you with tomato ketchup stained fingers!!

Note to self - Tomorrow is another day and I will be better tomorrow (after a PROPER night of sleep!)

Haircuts!

Let me be swift here........my elder son has been nagging me for a short time now to cut his hair as it gets into his ears when he swims, he now has the backing of his teacher who made the flippant comment the other day that he needed a hair cut!

My sons have gorgeous, floppy and wild white blond hair (or mops!) and it looks divine at the length it is, his friends and my friends all like it AND, this is the important bit, HE HATES GOING TO THE HAIRDRESSERS! He hates it like you wouldn't believe.

So......I said I would cut it for him on Wednesday afterschool. We sat down, he had had his snack and was all set.......I sprayed his hair with water

"are you done yet?" he asked

"no, that was just the water and now I am going comb it so I can see where to cut."

"are you done now?" -

"no, I haven't started"

- SNIP

"That's it, you did it, are you done? Yes you are, I can get down now?"...........so as you can see, I tried.

Six weird things

Six weird things about me - bah! someone sent me one of these round robins the other day to fill in.........problem is, I know everyone who knows me probably knows more than six about me!

1. I have to leave a token on my plate however small, I cannot completely finish a plate of food!

2. I cannot eat anything past the sell by date, not a day, not a dot and I can't freeze rice ! - told you it was weird!

3. I sniff my kids trousers to check if they can wear them for two days on the trot - okay, cringing yet?

4. I have to let my tea go nearly cold before I drink it and the tea bag must still be in it - this is herbal tea mind you, but even so!

5. I always skim a book before I then sit back a read it properly (and I am a BIG end cheat!)

6. I have to drink water either directly from the bottle or in a glass with a straw - I can't drink it directly from the glass.......it reminds me too much of school dinners!

There you go

Ultimately Significant Pile of S**t!!

Okay, so what is it with customer service and post offices?

Our local PO is the epitomy of crapness. Frequently there are queues out of the door and one maybe two if we are lucky, desks open. The staff are sullen and rude and it is also badly stocked, so if you need a customs label, they are often out, so you have to approach the snapping crocodile and request one and a pile of verbal abuse for pudding! I try really hard not to go there unless it is absolutely necessary. Over here, you can actually do a lot of your postal work online, print off the postage, nice Mr/s Mail delivery man (some of these guys are really pleasant, obviously a different breed!) will actually pick it up from your mail box when they drop off your daily mail, so unless you need something specific ie: media mail postage or.......my fall down, you want to post overseas.......you can avoid Hades. Yesterday was one of those unfortunate days when, I made a conscious decision to "child-lessly" (they were in school) attempt the post office. More fool me!
First off, one of the Post Office attendants screamed at a customer (ok, so a little bit of an exaggeration, but it was excessive reprimand!) that she needed to fill in all her forms before coming to the desk, poor woman must have felt about knee high. Secondly one of the other attendants was struggling to work out how to perform a procedure that required delivery confirmation on pre-paid postage or something, so, my attendant is just about to finalize my transaction when, after having already abandoned me once to go and get gum! he moves over to help out his colleague, which, in theory is actually nice....but 5 minutes later he is STILL with him, I have a child to pick up, the queue is now 11 long and huffing AND the freakin' big master of the Post Office is just standning there........OBSERVING! Meek and mild no longer rubs with me.........so I just asked if I could please pay as I had a small child to pick up from school - "oh!" says my cashier........15 minutes to pay for 2 parcels within the US, and that doesn't include waiting time in the queue! I think we should start a book on this!

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Mama # 2 had her baby yesterday! This has been a week of new births in this small area of CT by all accounts. So on getting back on Friday night, I was called away again on Sunday evening. My client's water had broken and they were all set on staying home (I was rooting for this choice to be made) however, within 10 mins they had rung again to say that there was some blood in the water and they were nervous, would I meet them at the hospital?

Nights when I am called away always fill me with such mixed feelings. Of course there is the initial excitement of a new baby, a new labour and birth and new opportunities to help a mother achieve a great birth experience, then intrepidation, for their health and then for staying on the right side of interventions etc etc, then also, that real niggling, sarcastic feeling that I can never get rid of these days of " how long before the epidural, how long before they wave the white flag at me and tell me they no longer want to stick to their original ideals"? I know, I know, I was the same with my first, so were many of my friends, it was then we discovered there was so much more to the birth experience than watching it from the outside. We became so much more aware of how to work with the contractions and embrace them really deep (in a literal sense too!) rather than fighting it because it hurt.

Anyway........this birth I remembered to pack my Yoga mat - yuhuh, not to actually practise!! but because most times I end up sleeping on the grimy hospital floor while the parents try to get rest. i cannot sleep in a chair, I have to be flat and after the birth in September where I slept on a cold tile floor and woke up freezing and in shock, I decided that my yoga mat would be anotehr prop I would add to my bag of goodies!

However, this birth has left me more troubled than most. These clients were already under more stress than many of my clients, their child was conceived with IVF, they had been told that she may have androplaysia dwarfism and the mom had not had an easy pregnancy, gestational diabetes, high blood pressure and a family history of P-E and prematurity.
When their daughter was born, she didn't appear to be out of proportion in anyway. She appeared healthy, muscle tone and colour all good and great Apgars. But to me, her protruding tongue and almondy looking eyes were suggesting she may have Down Syndrome. This was not noticed or said by the paediatrician, so I hope to god I am totally wrong and she was just small and these were regular features. I keep looking at the photos I took, in many, her tongue is out, not just a little, but a long pointed protrusion. I am sure (and I really really hope) I am wrong. i said nothing and intend to say nothing to the parents. it isn't my place, I am no expert suffice to say that my instinct is bugging me. I sincerely hope I never mention this again.

Well, time to hit the sack. My eyes are so heavy that my head keeps toppling backwards, if the boys were awake they would call me a bobble head!

Goodnight!

YMCA

We have a standing joke that I am sure many family's have and this is particularly apparent with Little Mr Beehive! When he is on top form, he is obviously my son, when feeling particularly mischeveous, he is most certainly his father's!! - funnily enough, the same rules apply for the dog too!! but that is another day!

One of Little Mr Beehive's particular similarities to his father, rather than my Monica-ness about things, is his disdain of tidying up. LMrB could live days, maybe even months or years, I break out in goosebumps just thinking about it, under piles of worn clothing, with books all over the place, tripping over shoes and toys etc.
As a family, we all chip in to lay and clear the table at meal times.........one of LMrB's pet hates. Often when asked to help out he starts up what is slowly becoming his signature - It starts with a hopping, then clutching at his groin, then more hopping which intensifies and becomes a frenetic jump, then a mad dash to the bathroom and wails of "I need to peeeeeeeeeeeee!".

Well today we are all sitting, waiting patiently for him to return, which he starts to do...arriving at the kitchen door, he notices, perhaps, his yogurt pot still sitting where it was left waiting for him to put it in the trash and announces with a big grin - "oh no, now I have to go pooh!"

The usual round of raised eyebrows pass the table, even Little Miss Beehive has caught onto this, speaking of whom was trying desperately to get me to feed her my strawberries "me try one?" she asked hopefully (oh, she had already had her own bowl so please don't feel too concerned for her!). I looked at her and she tried again "just a liddle one okay mama?" she asked with fluttering eyelashes and her twitchy fingers already in my bowl - we are in fits of giggles about her already demure and "girlie" pleading techniques, so when LMrB decides that his bathroom business is taking a little long (his father is more of a book man, but we never really started that routine with the children) we are entertained with a hearty and loud rendition of the Village People, which interspersed with grunts and splashes makes for a great Saturday lunch!!

Y..........grrr...........M.......ggggrrrrrrr......C...............A SPLASH!!! aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh*sigh*

A tale of two births

So this week has strangely brought about the kinds of births that many of us could only dream about.

Firstly, on Sunday, my friend Cari and her husband, Rob, birthed their second child on the floor of their bathroom! They were all set to go to the birthing centre but their son had other plans. Cari is a wonderful, calm woman and took all of this in her stride. She would have certainly relished the intimacy of birthing her baby at home (something that so many women are not able to do here in CT. for issues of insurance, lack of HB midwives etc) and it had been her secret longing all the way.

Keep this image in your minds readers, because shrouding this beautiful story was the one that then followed when they did what any person would have done and is legally meant to do (I think!) and they called 911. What followed was a horrific pre- judgement of them as mad renegade hippies and thus were treated like second class citizens. Their healthy 9lb+ son was taken from them into the NICU, fed formula and Rob was unable to hold him until the next day, that and they were threatened with legal action if they did not comply!!

Yesterday Cari's pain was intense to say the least. No-one heard her, that all she wanted to do at the hospital was stay with her son, nurse him herself to get his sugar up and be his mother!!

If there is ever a number 4 in the Beehive.............s/he will be birthed at home IN ENGLAND!

Birth number two was my clients, due last Wednesday. Again this couple were due to be birthing at the same birthing centre and were driving down from about 45 miles north in NY state! Her first labour had been fast for a P.G and so we were expecting this to be about a 4-5 hour birth. Her cervix had already been partly dilated and effaced and she had mild, inconsistent, occasional contractions. She rang me at 3.20 yesterday afternoon to say her water had gone and they were going to drive in. I sorted out my childcare, and left my house by 4.30. Traffic aside..........I still wouldn't have made it!!! They walked in the birth centre door at about 4.30, Baby Auden was born just 20 mins later. My arrival at 5.06 was just too darned late!! I did remain with them however, as they had another child whom I was going to sit with for a while.

Ironically (is it??), despite this being a MUCH different scenario to the one Cari went through at the hospital and my client enjoying just "being" with her family, one of the nurses at the centre was desperate to push them to go home. She hinted about the weather getting much worse (cold, not snow) and how she would be far happier in the lounge of the birthing centre rather than in the bedroom bonding with the baby and enjoying some alone time...........Funny, it really is a game of two halves!!

Today is "Primary Mom's Day" at school. So W. has been up since the crack asking if it is time to go yet. He has chosen to wear a shirt and tie (!!) so I feel incredibly underdressed in comparison. I have had half the contents of my wardrobe on at one point this morning, do I do:

1. Sensible mother: nice smart brown trousers and shirt and boots (with heels)?

2. Warm and cuddly mummy - comfy trousers and a big warm sweater and sneakers?

3. Posh mom, smart pencil skirt, neat blouse, jacket, pantyhose (ha, just put that in cos I LOVE the word!! so stupid!) and heels

4. Normal me, but slightly off the cuff earth mama - Empire style patterned loud shirt and short, cropped cardi with jeans....................

Believe it or not, I do own an assemble of the above in some form or other, but........well, I wouldn't be W's mama if I tried to be anything but number 4!!

Okay, my other half is back from the gym - yes, he scoots out on a Saturday morning, (like all the other days in the week!) leaving me with Saturday chaos of children, dishwashers, breakfasts, bed making, dressing children, showering, walking and feeding dog...........bet he hasn't even brought me a coffee!!!!

Oh well!

Four legs good, Two legs bad!!!

I cannot be the only one in the world who wonders sometimes who on earth writes the news scripts?

This week's corker has to go to the radio news reader (shamefully I can't remember what station as I was just flicking to find news of any sort) who came up with this faux pas after an emergency landing by an aircraft due to the death of the pilot in transit:

" the plane landed safely at x airport. No-one was hurt in the emergency landing...........(pause)........except the pilot of course."

At bookclub this month we have just discussed "The Spirit Catches you and you fall down". If you haven't read it, it is well worth the read. A book written by a journalist who followed the life of a little Hmong girl with epilepsy and her family. They move from Laos to the US whereupon it is discovered that this little girl has epilepsy. In the Hmong culture, epilepsy is seen as a gift, it is described as the title. Many shamen have this gift. Anyway in America epilepsy is seen as a medical condition that is treatable. However, neither her parents speak English or read Hmong nor at the time were there interpreters. There is a real cross fire of culture and in the end, by whatever means, the little girl eventually becomes so sick that she doesn't recover and remains from this day forth, in a vegetative state. I shan't give too much more of the book away, suffice to say that I found it very impressionable. Whereas initially it is so easy to "judge" from a western stance, ie: were the Hmong stupid not to take the tablets, surely they must know that medicine was the only help for her, of course the doctors were right; in more depth it is actually incomprehensible to really understand HOW the Hmong felt about this and why. This culture is so far removed from any of our pre-conceived ideas of technology, medicine, illness and even hierarchy, that it became a book that certainly I (not sure any of my fellow bookclubbers remained with my by this point!!) started seeing from, if you like, a levitational view. I really knew that I could never understand why this happened and to be honest, I don't think I was meant to, but it really helped me open my eyes. It was well written, the author had certainly got to a certain degree of intimacy with the Hmong, and reported the history and the facts as such, but had she understood them, no, absolutely not, and she won't, just as had a Hmong written the book they would never have understood it from a Western POV.

That said, if you like books that make you think outside the box, ie: this is not a particularly easy read, it is also written in a very journalistic way too, then try it.

The other "bee" in my bonnet this week is an article in the http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/01/10/nschools10.xmlTelegraph in the UK about the call to scrap catchment areas for schools and basically to draw names out of a hat for intake for schools. I can see what they are trying to achieve by doing this: ie a mixed intake so that lower socio-economic areas are not necessarily going to be the lower achieving schools, house prices remaining more constant because there will be less desire to move to a good school catchment area etc but my problems with it are thus:

1. A good school is not solely down to the area. A good school comprises, in my opinion, of a good strong headteacher, motivated staff, funding, a mix of pupils who are inspired.

2. What about people who do live, and have always lived, within walking distances of local schools that they are more than happy and expect their children to attend, they have to get into cars, add to the pollution and traffic and parking problems to drive 4 - 5 miles across town to a school where their child's name HAS been drawn.

3. Private schools are going to be oversubscribed and thus this will eventually have a knock on effect for funding for state schools ie: less pupils= less capital = not achieving #1 in my list!!

4. People are always going to "change religion", move to a good catchment area or bend the rules to ensure as much as possible that their child gets the best possible education.

It's crazy. I am sure my parents never had the problems that my generation are now facing. Our house in the UK backs onto a school, currently we will presume that our younger two will be offered places there. We hope T will, but as his entry will be to Y5 it may be harder and he doesn't really fit into this argument, he is a different case. That said, if either of the others don't get in, we are lucky as the next options locally are also excellent schools but I will be fulfulling #2 and driving 3 miles to a different school - madness! In our area in the UK a lot of the problem is down to the fact that they are building more and more houses and not keeping the amenities up so that everyone is accomodated. Before we left for overseas, they had already knocked down one house three doors down and built three teeny tiny postage stamp sized town houses in it's place, so now as a minimum there are three (but probably 6 or more) people living in the same sized plot as 1 or maybe 2 were before!! There are or maybe have been 60 houses built on wooded area all of which are "family" houses so that is another 240 people to get into the already oversubscribed doctor's surgery and 120 more children probably to get into the local school that attaches to my house...........

Would we pay privately to ensure them a good quality of education if we were in a situation where our next offering of school was crap - probably, yes, because we could if we tightened our belts but why should we? and what happens to people who can't?

Maybe all this money spent on developing lovely wooded natural land could have been spent on schools or amenities? Nah, of course not, at the end of the day, that won't line some business man or politician's pocket so s/he can continue to send his/her children to a private school away from us riff raff.