Soliloquy

I seem to have hit a bit of a rut recently. It's become more noticeable since living up here, how my mood is affected by the weather. I need seasons, like a duck needs water and at the moment, summer is more like mid November here.

In the States I used to find it so easy to blog, there was always so much to write about, so much to say and share. Here, right now, I'm on hold...


I'm waiting for my exam results, waiting to move and get into our family home, waiting to get the chickens, waiting to dig over the earth and get my hands dirty, waiting to start university and midwifery training, waiting, waiting...

I'm also missing the States, a lot! Never thought I'd feel quite this way. It's bizarre really, but I miss the enormity of it all, the places undiscovered, the spirit of the old and new and my friends, my beautiful friends.


I find myself and the children stuck inside so much more. In the US in the summer, we'd always be out and about, at the beach, in the garden, doing crafts, visiting friends etc. There was always something to do, even if that something was nothing at all.
It's not that there isn't much to do here, but more that I feel that I'm just living in some kind of cyclical limbo land before my life really starts; the weather isn't so good, so we don't go out, so my mood ebbs,  so I don't want to go out...

Here, nothing seems endless, grey and quite lonely really, I'm going to steer clear of forums that seem to be full of bickering and bored housewives who fight with each other and practise the art of one upmanship and surround myself with more likeminded people who are happy being who they are and I am going to laugh much more with my beautiful children because they're growing up too fast.

I'm going to pick myself up though - we're off on holiday soon, some sun will work wonders on my mood. I'm also going back to practising regular yoga in September, I'm going to get out and use my camera more, I'm going to find a mantra and maybe a saying each week to aspire to. I feel I need to work on my mind by working on my body. I spend too much time rushing from place A to place B so I'm going to do some holistic reparation to my soul.

So forgive me if I blog less for a while, just until I find where the real me has gone.

xx