...it's not quite a jaguar!

There is a long running dispute in our house which I will share with you today. It is a ridiculous debate, it makes little sense, it makes us laugh and we banter almost daily until the deed is done. We then rest in harmony for around 3.5 years and then we begin again!

It is an argument that actually goes against anything we believe in or try to maintain here at The Beehive, yet, our materialistic streak (or rather mine...no, his too) leaps out as we bicker about it, laugh about it, deal with it, accept it and move on for another 3.5 years!

It's about our cars!

Ridiculous right? I did warn you!

We have lease cars through Mr Beehive's company and we drive one each. Firstly, we couldn't exist without running two cars, so that is a complete stalemate. I often travel up to 400 miles in a week and Mr Beehive goes in and out of London at least three times a week, so actually reducing our cars is a total no-no.

We then have three children and an au pair and often other people's children to take to cubs or other places, therefore we need something that has 7 seats and the option of a roof box (not for a child you know!)

Then there is the fact we have two dogs who like to get muddy, we have a small barnyard of chickens who eat food by the 25lb bag (every three weeks!) and there is the food required for the six of us in the house...see where I'm going with this.

Short of a transit van...which, I hasten to add, has been mentioned on many an occasion, we are stuck with needing something big.

Oh and we live down the end of a downward sloping country lane, which, when the snow...or rain gets going, we need the opportunity to get out...that's going to worsen in a few years time when I qualify and maybe 'need' to get to a birth or a shift when there's a lot of snow around.

Okay, so let's cut to the chase. We are restricted by 'The List' (of approved cars!), however, where we are both restricted by 'The List', it would appear that I am further restricted by the above criteria and Mr Beehive's tooth-sucking, whereas Mr Beehive...apparently... is not!

I want a Landrover ;-) or something similar...I know, I'm sorry, my carbon boot print is being worn by a giant at this point in time. However, hear me out...it fits the criteria. I have the room for the kids and the animals, the shopping for six won't slide out of the boot when I open the lid (as it does now) because of the angle of the boot, because a landy has a top open and a bottom open for the boot - waaaay cool! It is a 4 wheel drive so will get me to work at any time, it's cool (in a country bumpkin farmer giles kind of a way, but admit it, it IS cool and I don't live in a city or drive my kids 800 yards to school or drive it to the gym and back!). 

However, Mr Beehive (the number cruncher, gah!) isn't going to 'let me'! Yes, I can hear you all nodding along with him, it's not efficient on fuel, it's expensive, it's big, it's bigger than the spaces in the car park often...and you're right.

So people carrier it will be once again. I am back to what I already have with the boot that spits out my shopping all over the driveway (apparently I can have the velcro bags to put the shopping in...yeah, thanks, I DO have those, only everytime you drive my car, you take them out and fail to put them back, so they're never IN there when I go shopping!),

• That needs a push to get it through the snow and therefore requires me carrying carpet in my boot through the winter and a spade! 
• That doesn't have a coin holder where you need a coin holder, instead has a dog-vomit catcher...obviously where you need one of those; 
• That doesn't have a place to put your drink, instead has a place to store Barbie's shoes, DS games and petrified bananas all at the same time; 
• That has glove compartment that closes rather than one that will burst open spilling the contents that includes Calpol, tissues, cables...cables...cables, CD's without cases from monotonous story tellers that add fire to the 8 hour journey, doll's hats, children's hats,  spare undies for a 4 year old, even though your 4 year old is now nearly 8 and they've been in there for the entire lease, window wash that has leaked blue onto the knickers giving them an odd, scary-blue radioactive glow in the dark , odd bits of playmobil, odd bits of car seat that have fallen off over the years, dog treats, chicken treats, kid treats, 8 pairs of sunglasses because you always lose your sunglasses so you put them in the glove compartment so you DON'T lose them...then forget; 
• That screams 'mummy-with-lots-of-kids-mobile' yes, yes, I know I AM and that's okaaaay, it's just...not...cool :-(

Not asking for a lot really!

So how does this look from Mr Beehive's perspective? Is he going to follow suite and go for a small, efficient car? A cheaper car for his child-animal-shopping-free trips? Er...apparently it's only the BMW series 1 or a Golf or an Audi that floats his boat? 

How is THAT fair? 

Mmm I feel a large helping of double standards, still, I will keep on at him until we change cars...I will keep on at him until my new people carrier is on the drive.

Then, I will drive it without taking umbrage...I will no longer fornicate over other landrovers or say 'nice car' in the style of Louis Balfour everytime we are passed by one on the M40....there are a LOT of landys on the M40 ;-). 

Life will continue once again and I will continue to drive the house on wheels whilst he swans around in his. 

BAH!