Newness

It's started!

Yes, that moment in my life that I was hoping I would not have to deal with until he was into his third decade ;-)

Girls!

He has a girlfriend no less. His first and so new.

He even asked my advice when she asked him out. I suppose I should be grateful that he started there.



It's a funny feeling. No one told you this when you had your baby.
When they were telling you to push and you were cursing or crying or both.
When they were telling you it wouldn't be long before you held your long awaited newborn in your arms.
They left out the bit that said:
'But it's only temporary that he's yours, soon there are going to be others that come in to the limelight, that muscle in on your territory and claim they 'love him'. These same ones will love him and these same ones will hurt him, hurt my baby like he has never been hurt before.
But this time I can't put a band aid on his boo boo or puff on some gas and air to make the pain go away. This will be hard, aching and raw and he will just have to go through it and come out the otherside.

He won't want me when he is in the love part, I will need to learn to shadow dance in the wings.
I will need to learn when my cues arise and when to apply the safety harness to make sure his falls don't completely hit the ground and that he gets up again and back on the bike.

Inside my mama bear will roar like no other. Trees will tremble, the earth will shake, let it be known. I will curse these young women and smite them with balls of fire. 

I won't tell him anything other than he will learn to breathe painlessly again. I will hold him and tell him that love is not painful when it is right, that love is a truly beautiful thing. I will reassure him that there is someone who is right for him out there, but he has yet to find her. I will tell him that love is indeed the most painful and most amazing thing all at the same time and her guises are wily and immense.

For now though, my boy, my firstborn, is enjoying these newborn days of young love and I, continue to learn  and evolve through him.