Fridays and Fermented tea

Fridays are always manic in our household.
I seem to be perpetually chasing my tail.

This morning I took the children to school then drove over to our nearest Wild Oats for some snacks for the workshop I was leading, I know, this would be far improved if my organisational skills were such that I wasn't zipping out for this stuff last minute! However, this is me! While in W.O I saw they had some Kombucha tea which I had been hearing people talk about, so popped a couple of bottles into my cart. Do you do that? Go in for one or two things, start off with a basket, then have to change to a trolley cos you get too much!! Well, that's me too! Anyway, digression (perhaps it's the fermentation that is adling my brain as I type!)this is meant to pick up alertness, help boost your energy levels, aid with digestion etc etc. The lowdown is here then I forgot about it.

The rest of my day follows that I finish the workshop at 11.50 with a pick up at school at 12 and probably an 11 minute drive.....so herding these poor women out of the door, picking up karate kit and lunchboxes, I am now tearing back up to school to get W and I. I rush in out of breath to my poor daughter, the last one standing in the toddler playground and my son, who was about to be ferried back inside with the other Lost Boys, smiling and apologising to respective teachers.

We always eat lunch at school on a Friday so I don't have to do the darned drive back home an added time! Then W. goes for his Tae Kwon Do. Once this is over, I. and I have a disagreement about her being strapped in the car seat, which, despite the fact I tell her this is non-negotiable (yeah right, a 2 year old will obviously know that word!) I do feel for her as she spends a lot of time in and out of the car. We go home for 50 minutes, enough time to diaper change, let the dog out for a run, answer a few calls and e-mails, read a couple of books, tidy up the mess leftover from this morning and then back up to school to get T. He finishes at 3.30.

We are then back in the car, but not before allowing them to run around the labryinth at school - which, they decide to do barefoot - okay so it is the middle of September, it rained last night and there are twigs everywhere, but they are MY kids, so whaddya expect? I call last orders, we all pile back in the tank, back home, ONLY......wait for it. You think the story has ended there??? Oh no. We pull in the drive to the cries of "where's my backpack?" F^YU*&^*&^*

So, through gritted teeth and threats of no snacks cos there won't be time before supper, I return the same blasted route back to school only to find his backpack sat by the grass where he left it, but no lunchbox. So, here I am, serious idiot's head on, combing the school after everyone else (except the teachers) have left for the day finding his school reader and lunchbook, smiling inanely at any teacher I meet and mumbling into my beard about "not having yet made it home!"

SO, to make a long story even longer, the Kombucha is now opened and tried and it is weird to say the least, however, there is a great feeling of "I couldn't carelessness" about the way I feel as I type, so either that is my inner self becoming more and more restored, or I picked up the bottle of Chardonnay instead who knows??? Or rather.................
Who cares?????????

Feminism - part II

So, having finished my recent books I have decided to explore further the discussions of women's issues and in particular, feminism.

For many years I have thought I have hung on the outer boundaries of feminism, being a strong persona who makes her own choices believing that a woman has an equal a right as a man. However, the more I think about it, the more I think the word feminist does not do feminism any justice. For me, the word itself is far too strong a word. It depicts images of angry man bashing or hatred, along with words such as anarchist or terrorist. There is an obvious difference, but sometimes our language is in fact just too black and white. Whilst naturally one's profession often ends in "ist", words that describe a movement or character ending in "ist" for me are too harsh. Perhaps a better way to describe what a feminist is to me, is an advocate for feminine energies.

To me, being an advocate is doing what I do, helping women speak up for their birthing rights, it is being able to make choices as to whether I work or stay at home, or do both and not whether one is "more feminist" that the other. It is advocating for joint responsibility and management of our household and the chores, it is advocating for our sons to be able to play with dolls if they choose and our daughter to climb trees and play with cars. It is advocating for my body and my mind (although I know I lose the latter on occasions!!) and then finding time to reassess and readjust when things get out of alignment. Most people I know advocate some or a lot of feminine energy, so to feel that I fit a "category" of women is actually a contradiction as for me, all women exude certain extremes and it is for us as women per se to see the choices we make (as long as they are indeed choices) as acts of feminism. We may not entirely agree with the decisions or choices, or least choose them for ourselves, but, if the decision is made from the information they have gathered, then truly it is a choice. Read this article I found. I think this perfectly sums up what I am trying to say that even to class oneself as a feminist is itself a choice these days.

What do you think - let me know!

Kidspeak

It is quiet! I have given into the bewitchment of the square nanny for half an hour so I can gather my thoughts and write my blog. I had all my past "clients" (friends now one would hope!!) over for coffee this morning with their new (and not so new) charges. So I was late for pick up, then W had asked for a picnic on the school lawn with his friends, so we did this before rushing off to tae kwon do and then home. The mail was left strewn with the dirty coffee cups and enough biscuits to feed an army.....so Pinky Dinky Do is babysitting whilst I (obviously!) am washing dirty cups!!! I am now, again, trying to multi task (okay, so NOT washing cups) but chat with a friend on MSN about "sexy-vend" and answer e-mails. T. is going on an after school Friday night playdate tonight. He and his pal had been arranging it since the start of term and it consisted of an hour here, an hour at his friends house and two hours at the local hands on museum!!! Seriously! If we had done all that, it might have been 10 mins after all the driving! So what with trying to keep my head around fast chat on MSN and sexy-vend and Philip Larkin......hmmm Julie, I am losing it! I don't know if my peaceful half hour is exactly that!

Tomorrow is just as manic. T and W have swimming followed by a party and then T is selling popcorn with the scouts in the afternoon. I am going to the gym at 8am YES 8 AM cos there is no other time in the weekend to go. Right now I feel totally motivated about that.......i will let you know if I make it though!

W. made me laugh the other day with his "out of the mouths of babes" comments. Apparently he had seen an Albert!!! There is me thinking "a what?" I have heard of (but thankfully not seen) a "Prince Albert" but "what is an Albert W??" - "it was in T's magazine. It was about the Back Yardigans new movie" - Oh now I get it!!!!!!It is so hard keeping up with "kidspeak" come back Clockwork Orange!

Saturday -

Fall is coming really early this year. It is so noticeable here with the leaves. There is an ethereal beauty to the days. They start foggy then usually pick up with sun shining through the goldening foliage. I suppose with the fact that there has been less sun this year than normal. It is naturally very very beautiful but the sooner the leaves turn, the sooner they drop! Part of me really loves the start of autumn, the foggy starts, darker evenings, wood fires, lead up to Christmas etc, but at the moment we are in a limbo land. Some days it is really cold, particularly in the mornings or wet, other days it is up in the 80s again so I never know what to dress the children in, shorts, trousers??

We have the first of our second year of visitors in a couple of weekends. R's great aunt and uncle followed by my cousin. Mum and Dad are going to be joining us for Christmas this year which will be lovely, well, apart from the fact I am on call for a birth around 17th, still, Christmas can always be postponed a day if necessary!

The children are continuing to entertain this weekend with their funny comments. T, who is proving to finally be understanding why he doesn't have candy often or blue food colouring, was at a party today. As usual the goody bags and party food were of delightfully bright and hypnotic colours. R. had let both of them eat one of the small gummy candies that were in their bag and T took great delight in telling me that "if you want me later mummy, I might be on the ceiling" !!! Don't ya love em?? I's contribution to my book of "Crazy Commentaries from the Little People" was on our drive to the store this afternoon. Each day her vocabulary is increasing and she is stringing together more and more words. As we were driving she kept saying "yak, yak" so of course, I asked her what was "yak". She then told me "daddy's car, smelly, yak"!! Hmmm, tell it like it is babe!! time for a clean out I think!!

Toilet seats are a girl's best friend!

Or so it would appear! I's new favourite fashion accessory seems to be her Dora the Explorer toilet seat. She has taken it upon her self to do some haphazzard "toilet training" of her own!! So who am I to stop a girl when she has an idea in her head?? It is pretty sweet and at times even fairly successful, particularly when I am able to play ball and sit next to her on the throne for up to half an hour at a time when she pulls faces, makes grunty noises, gets off, says "done" or "finished" only to then decide she needs "potty, I need potty"......my grocery shop this week was going to be done online, only right now, unless I can re-organise the computer to set up in the bathroom, I might not get past the fruit aisles! So if this is the beginning of losing the diapers then it is no great loss, however, the boys did take some time to be dry so I am in the meantime learning many new fruits that I didn't know existed!!

If you are wondering where the information on Patrick has gone, he has now been found a sponsor which is great news, his fees have been paid so he can start his training in November and eventually go back to work in the village - a great resource.

Veggie Way

Veggie Way

Damn, damn and damn!

Instinct is an amazing thing. One should trust it and stick with it!

I am sitting here today feeling really annoyed at myself for not trusting my intuition. Yesterday i was at the birth of my clients, she had admitted herself at around 11 with some light bleeding, which could have been bloody show. I joined her at 11am and she was 3cm but not really feeling many contractions. To cut a v. long story short, she agreed sometime in the afternoon to her water being broken and then her contractions over the next couple of hours really started to kick in. She was coping pretty well, but kept withdrawing and fighting the contractions and I had a hard time keeping her with me and helping her work with them. Eventually she decided she wanted an epidural so they checked her dilation, which was then at 5cm, and she waited for the anaethetist. He took another half hour, during which time she was getting really intense contractions, which seemed to have a plateau to them ie: lasted a while and then subsided to only give her around a minutes grace before the next one. She seemed to me to be really progressing and then even going through transition where she got panicky that the anaethetist wasn't coming, however, it had only been half an hour. It crossed my mind to remind her that she was doing so well and I was really confused how hard these contractions had suddenly become that I even wondered if she couldn't get through without the epidural, so all I said - kick myself now- is "are you sure you want this". I should have maybe been more audible and suggested a re-examination!!!grrr - mad at myself!
He went ahead and put in the epidural and within 10 minutes the baby's heart rate dropped. It did recover, but they decided to then check her again.....guess what!! 10 !

So this went on for a while with her pushing, actually really effectively considering she had had an epdiural, until she had been pushing for 2 hours. She did have a tetanic contraction at one point so they had to give her a shot of terbutaline to relax her uterus. Gradually over this time the baby's heart wasn't recovering as quickly, he had passed meconium and the doc couldn't feel the cord around the neck, so my thoughts were that he was reacting to the epidural, it was a real coincedence! She and her husband were left to discuss c-section eventually as the doc couldn't get the vacuum as the baby was still too high. He was posterior which I had told her he was when she arrived with back ache so we had been working to try to turn him, but obviously it hadn't worked. So with that, the culmination that the ultrasound had said the baby was at least 8lb6 (since when do ultrasounds talk anyway!?) and the dropping FHT, she was prepped for surgery and her hubby and I doned scrubs. Within 10 mins of waiting, the nurse was back to say that she had had the baby, crash c-section! Apparently when the anaethetist put more epidural into her catheter, the baby's heart had dropped again and not recovered.......not jumping to conclusions here, but......coincedence I don't think so! So now I am mad at myself for what might have been, I keep thinking if only I had told her that I felt her dilation might have changed, we could have gotten her checked and she probably would have had the baby (with some vacuum help maybe) vaginally! Oh, and the baby was only 7lb 13, so trusting the "voice" of technology all the while is not always the best way to go.
She and the baby are fine however so the end result was great. Next time, I will trust my thoughts as it would not have hurt to have voiced them a little louder.

"I am not my hair"

This made me laugh - tell me I have a poor sense of humour, but over here we get the BBC world news. Most of the time this is the rare flicker of sanity there is within the US television network, but yesterday was priceless! Toward the end of the news they always end with the more "lighthearted" pieces. A British man, holidaying in Spain, had set up the most elaborate burglar detection and security system in his home. Basically he had cameras that triggered an alarm which then sent a phone call to his cell phone telling him of the current burglary (or maybe false alarm) anyway, he can then go online and watch all this happening. What was his response when asked about his recent break in that he was able to watch from Spain from his PC? - I was totally shocked !! Eh? Surely if you set up such an elaborate system and it goes off, it can't be that much of a shock to watch people burgle your house after all, that is what it is there for isn't it?

We are sitting amidst torrential rain yet again! Today I had to purchase a rain jacket, I have lightweight jackets and I have heavy fleeces and snow coats, but since we arrived here, we haven't had weather like this. It is still warm, so not snow jacket weather by all accounts, but it is way to wet for a denim or other jacket. I need something that I can fling over a t-shirt to do the school run. However, being me, this "fling" has to be the right kinda "fling" baby! so good old North Face came up trumps this morning. In the meantime, the darned scout cookout for which I was in such a hurry to be suitably attired, has been cancelled. It might sound obvious, but e-mails were sent earlier in the day to say that, in true scouting spirit, we would meet rain or shine.....so I was practising my "I really want to be here" smile. However, obviously by 5.30pm and no let up in the rain, sense actually got the better of them, much to W's disappointment. TBH, they are both pretty shattered from a week back at school and they have swimming tomorrow. Not wanting to "hot house" them this is gratefully postponed until Sunday.

R is still not right, we are working on a theory right now that his food is causing a back up progressively over the day, hence the fact the attacks are worse in the evening after his evening meal. He is currently trying the theory that by eating his main meal at lunchtime and snacking in the evening, perhaps the backlog won't be so bad so his stomach, intestine, gut, whatever it is that is causing these spasms won't react so badly. So far, not bad, but he is still suffering. His tests are lined up for this week, so maybe, maybe we will get some results and answers.

Excitingly, we are hoping to get tickets to go and see India Arie in NYC in October. I have a really selective amount of people of whose music I really like, I tend to like tracks from different musicians and my choices are quite eclectic, that said, India Arie is one of those who really hits the spot, her lyrics are just so powerful, so I am excited that we might be able to go, as long as we can get a sitter!

Well, it is time to go and tend to the needs of a bottle of "three blind moose" that has been delightfully chillin' since about 4pm, that is when the need hits of a Friday evening - the weekend starts to seep in and weave it's wicked way hoorah - I wonder if I am going to have to share??!!

Beowulf and Montessori

Well today has flown past again. I only seem to get to bed these days for it to be time to wake up and then go back to bed! I made three visits to school today, pick up separately one for each child!! All of whom had fantastic days and, bar the eldest, have gone straight off to sleep with tired exhaustion - yay! I had a parent orientation in school led by the school directress. As usual M is a very enlightening and vibrant speaker, she always makes me feel refreshed and renewed in my choice to use Montessori even when there are things that puzzle me about it. Take a question asked this morning about Montessori approach to creativity and imagination in stories. M explained that it was always nurtured never supressed and yet from the teachers, the kids would get the "real version" of events, so for example, rather than telling the story of the bad wolf who went to blow down three houses belonging to pigs that talked and wore clothes, they would tell the story of say, Johnny Appleseed or Albert Einstein. That said, were a child to make up a tale of talking animals that do amazing things, then this creativity would be celebrated and nurtured. Montessori was a believer that children's creativity comes from within and therefore it will express itself without force, which I like! I agree that by the "reduced-media" policy and enabling children to have access to books that are less fairy tale like and more realistic, they are actually opening doors to children using their imagination far more than providing clear cut images on a plate.

R. is feeling a little better at the moment, I am pleased to say, is also taking a few days off work! He has some tablets that are appearing to keep the pain at bay and hopefully he will get some tests done this week. I, on the other hand have started a new diet......it is the "lose 6lbs overnight" diet. i think I ate a salad that disagreed with me yesterday, so he basically walked in the door from the hospital to me crawling into bed and handing them over! Bet he thought I was faking!

Tomorrow is my driving test. Crazy but it brings back nervous memories. I have been driving for 17 years. I hope this doesn't fail me due to complacency. My mom to be is holding off at the moment (keeping my fingers crossed for her legs to stay that way until tomorrow evening!.

Well, I am off to that place of down and dreams now but to end must just ask this...if Montessori is not keen to teach from legend and myth but rather from truth and fact.........why is my elder son doing Beowulf for his school play this year?

Brangelina and Big Pants

Well, how is that for a Saturday in September? Brad Pitt has declared that he and Angie are not going to get married until laws ae dropped in the US where everyone has equal right to getting married. I would like to think that be pledging this he is supporting this case had I not read somewhere else that Angie has turned him down and they are continually fighting. Not that I really give a flying fig about them, but I just love the way that the media twist things around. On the other side of the world, Bridget Jones is auctioning her big knickers. I seriously don't know what all the fuss is about......they only have to open my top drawer and could probably make a mint!

On this same day in history, R is in hospital, I am not trying to make it sound mundane by wibbling about Brangie and knickers first, just it might sound more panicky than it now is. He went in on Friday after a particularly violent attack. He was totally floored by the pain which had now moved to the centre of his belly. i ended up calling 911 and they came and gave him some morphine which didn't do any good, so that shows how severe his pain was. The admitted him but still can't find anything. The current talk is that he has severe IBS, but I had no idea that suddenly, mid life, IBS will come on that severely. I thought it was primarily an intolerance to things aggrevated by stress or eating. His has been painful for three weeks, then suddenly it changes, the pain is far worse and has moved and he is eating nothing different to his usual diet which is low fat, low cholesterol etc. So he is currently being observed and I hope to pick him up today. I have no idea how he will cope if he has another attack at home and we can't keep going into the ER. I don't like to admit it, but I had hoped they would find something, at least that way there would have been something to remove or treat. This is stabbing in the dark.

This weekend is going to be it's usual insanity. The boys are at swimming lessons this morning, and then I was hoping to take them to the Oyster festival with a friend and her children, however, I forgot about W's class picnic this afternoon AND I hope to be able to pick R up somewhere inbetween. I think we will probably postpone the oyster festival until tomorrow. Last night, in bed, I could hear the concert from my house!! Bo Bice was playing along with a band called Third Sister in which one of the teachers from school sings!! Oh and to boot I am supposedly on call, but have had to hold off for yesterday and today. Unfortunately there are no back ups available for this weekend either!

My patience is really being tested this week. The boys have had 13 weeks of being in each other's pockets and it is now at breaking point. I have had to ask them to play in separate rooms this morning as I cannot take anymore screaming or crying. Funny, these are the moments that I would LOVE to admit never happen, that discipling positively creates children that are mild mannered, patient and always gentle. But that is NOT the case and there have been moments in the last couple of weeks where I have actually lost my temper and shouted really loudly at them. Personality plays a huge part in the way a child is. T is loud and likes to organise things and struggles with the concept when he is not in charge. This year at school I hope will help him with this. He will be the youngest in the class (tri-age system) and there will be times when he will need to be second fiddle. W. on the other hand has been suffocated this summer. He needs the space to express and imagine. He is only doing mornings at school and I am going to get him together with my friend's middle child so that they can play together unstiffled by the older siblings. This is such a hard situation. I don't want to suppress T but want W the chance to make decisions that are not influenced by his older brother. I am also taking W to Tae Kwon Do on a Friday. I want him to channel some of his energies into something positive. W is not aggressive and is quite sporty, but he might enjoy a positive and focussed individual sport that doesn't require "working under someone" ie a team game, but allows him to be able to take responsibility for improving under his own steam. He did pretty well on his first lesson until he saw T at the door then he wanted to be with him. Still, next week T will be in school all day so W won't have the distraction.

I still struggle with allowing them to "be". I, as a child, was loud and tbh pretty bossy and obnoxious at times. I want them to really be able to get on in life and make and keep friends. I know things will change over time, they will have sad times and difficult times and I can't shelter them from those, in fact I can only equip them to deal with them as everyone needs to go through them. I still fight inner gremlins though that wants them to be liked by everyone. I know this is actually my own needs coming through here, and not theirs! Guidance is the key and I think T is leading the way and we are learning together!

I have my driving test this week!! I know, 17 years of driving and I am actually worried I will fail (see, here I go again!!!). I have been driving for so long that you fall into bad habits - anyone around here drive holding the wheel constantly at 2'0 clock? There is also a written test. This will be the day she goes into labour!!

Well, better get on, life is never dull at The Beehive!

Labor Day

Here is a great restaurant I went to with the boys on Friday as their "end of vacation" treat - The Lime Restaurant. W. as usual managed to find the smallest green bits to pick out of his food despite my asking for no salad!! However, to give him his due, he ate two carrots and a minute piece of broccoli yesterday. Today's menu is Moroccon; pitas with veggie burgers - complete with soy cheese! and rice salad. C, P and the children are coming for lunch but as my mom is due any time now, I have it all pre-prepared just in case I have to bail.

Here are a few of the recipes:

"I will not ever never eat a carrot" veggie burgers!

About 4 grated carrots
1 tin of pinto beans (or kidney beans) drained and rinsed
half an onion grated - this will make you cry big time - be warned!!
1 garlic clove chopped small
3oz of cheese (this can be substituted for soy cheese)
A generous squirt of tomato sauce or paste (slightly less if you use a concentrate)
enough breadcrumbs to form a stiff consistency
Salt and pepper to taste

If you have veggie eaters then go ahead with grating the veggies and mashing the beans. If, like me, you have a child who can syphon out the smallest smidgen of a veg, then I throw it all (minus the breadcrumbs) into my food processor to ensure it doesn't resemble that which it started out as!! I then mix in the breadcrumbs separately.

Take dollops of mixture and form them into patties. If you want to freeze them, put layers of greaseproof paper inbetween each one.

When you come to cook them, sprinkle a light coating of flour on each one and then gently fry the outside just to seal them. I then take them out of the frying pan and actually bake them.

They can be served however you want, in a bun, pita, alone, with homemade chunky potato chips or a baked spud.

The other part of today's recipe is a rice salad which I will serve with the burgers:

Boil brown and wild rice (less of the latter) until soft - not mushy however!!
Drain and allow to cool, stirring occasionally or it'll stick!

Cut into miniscule pieces (or use your processor for speed) three sticks of celery, a red pepper, either half a red onion OR about 4 spring onions.

When the rice is cool, mix the veg into the rice.

Dressing:
1 level dessert spoon of grainy mustard
1/2 teaspoon of sweet paprika
1 teaspoon of honey
juice of one lemon
1 table spoon of cider vinegar
4 tablespoons of olive oil
A generous handful of corriander (cilantro if you are over here!)

Mix this vigourously and then pour onto the sald ensuring it is all coated. Refridgerate before serving.

Cucumber and mint salad also goes nicely with this and you can pad out the burger with avocado slices and I made a home made tomato sauce which is below:

Tomato sauce
2lbs of tomatos - I NEVER faff with de-seeding or skinning - life is too short!
3 tbs of a good quality vinegar I used orange and muscat
salt and pepper to taste.

This is so simple - just let it boil, then simmer so it reduces. Pulp it to within an inch of its life in a liquidiser and it becomes a thicker sauce. If you feel the need to thicken it still, make up a small amount of flour paste to add.

Finally to wrap up, this is a dairy free cheesecake which is low in cholesterol too!

Lime and gingernut cheescake

Base:
Crush a pack and a half of gingernut biscuits with around 4 oz of melted soy butter (put them in a ziplock, use a rolling pin, think of someone who drives you nuts, and beat the living bejeezus out of them - you will get small crumbs which are the best to use!)

Put this mix into a flan dish and press down firmly, then allow it time to harden in the fridge.

Topping:

2 8oz tubs of Tofuti (which is a tofu based cream cheese)
About 4oz of powdered sugar (icing sugar) however, as always, my measurements are NOT set in stone and I believe in an ongoing quality control which determines if I need more or less sugar!
Juice of 2 limes
Grated rind of 1 lime
Either beat this with a fork (great for your arm muscles) or take a hand whisk to it. It gets runny, but don't worry it re-sets.
Pour it onto your now set base and re-fridgerate.

When you are about ready to serve, use a potato peeler to put curled chunks of 75%or more cocoa solid chocolate (ok, so not entirely without sin!) which doesn't contain any milk product and then I thinly slice a lime and put the slices around the edge - that is just purely pretentious! you can skip that bit if you want!

So that is it, enjoy. it can all be done in advance, hence the fact I am catching up with my writing! It should be pretty low fat and low cholesterol, there is no dairy or meat and should fit for most allergy groups, except wheat.

The tennis, I forgot to mention!
It was a great day.......started dull, but still perfectly good for watching. C and I were in seats in the Arthur Ashe stadium (equivalent of centre court!) and watched Lindsey Davenport wipe the floor with a Croatian, the number 2 seed (a Spaniard) whose name defeats me right now play an immensely fun match with a Peruvian called Luis Horna (yes, of course i remembered his name!) despite the critics saying he would be knocked out in 3 sets, the match played the full 5 and it was close! The final match was Serena Williams - unseeded against Daniella someoneorother from Slovakia, seeded 17th. Well, always the performer. Serena didn't fail to please and took out the Slovak!! What a match that left the whole stadium on a real high. C and I then headed over to Grand central and a mooch around. Although, anyone who knows NYC will know that you don't MOOCH in NYC. You need to know where you are going and get there fast! Everything is fast, spralling and BIG! We had no map and no clue where we wanted to go. However, we eventually ended up at Time Square and a great Sushi restaurant.
You know, there are some cities in the world where the best way to discover them is to just walk, then you find the hidden gems, Rome is like that, Hong Kong, Antwerp, Ghent and London to an extent. Brussels on the otherhand is similar to Paris I think, there is a lot in one place, then you have to physically get transport to go somewhere else to see the next bit, the in between part is not so interesting. New York is just so mammoth but not so much in terms of distance, more in terms of intensity. The problem with NY is that it is difficult to "see out". Buildings are so tall, streets look so similar. I am sure there are some hidden wonders in NYC off the beaten track and the tourist trail but I need to find a book that tells me where to find these places. I am sure you will have your own thoughts on this! Let me know!

Quiet time

I am hiding! I. is happily playing in a box downstairs with R and the boys are playing with the playmobil quite contentedly at the moment, so I am going to grab these few precious moments.

As I sit here writing this I am realising with some sadness that summer is truly closing. We are receiving the tail end of Hurricane Ernesto right now, some pretty high winds and rain, the leaves are definately turning and life has that real autumnul feel to it. I am wearing trousers for the first time in 4 months and we are having to put the lights on in the day! I do love this time of year, approaching harvest time, lots of autumn crops, squashes, apples etc but I feel it is so early this year. I hope we have an indian summer later.

We are at the end of our mini market garden for the year. We had several aubergines, courgettes and a great crop of mini tomatoes this year. The melons and beans were eaten by something. We will need to re-think our "security" for next year. It is deer-proof and racoon proof, but probably they were eaten by mice or squirrels. If we end up being here a little longer I think next year we will actually invest in a proper wooden frame and firm wire netting.

We had quite a collection of frogs over there which has been fun for the boys to watch. They also found a cicarda in the house the other day, we were able to look at it's serated back legs and listen to it sing. Fortunately we were also able to release it without it being harmed.

After all my concern about T's lack of interest in something this summer, he has proved me wrong: I have been given some very interesting lessons over the last day or two about the dinosaurs. He amazed me with the knowledge he has picked up from his Leap Pad. Do you know what Trilabytes are? I didn't, I don't even know if I have spelt it correctly. He is just like his daddy, he retains these facts so well. He is going to be soooo useful in a pub quiz when he is older! W. on the other hand is more like MY dad, a "tinkerer" - he likes to do things with his hands, make things.....take things to bits!! he favours this kind of activity over more sedentary things.
I. has had a very productive morning today. They say that children learn by copying, hence the phrase "monkey see, monkey do" - well this monkey certainly DID! This morning I think she wanted to be mama for the day. She has climbed up, via the laundry basket, onto our dressing table and got my make up bag, I was out with T (see, these things only happen when i am not here!!)....she redecorated not only herself, but her bedroom too. There is one thing for washable crayons, which we now have, but washable make up is not going to prove a big seller!! So, R. did his best to get it out of her carpet and she is currently sporting a look that will do Dale Winton proud!! I have been freed of about $80 worth of make up during her little frenzy!

After deliberation, I didn't send the note to my friend. I decided that I have had more time to think about it and by sending it, I would have left myself wide open to misinterpretation and like the advice I had for V. sometimes it is bolder and more mature to take the passive road.
I am going to quote my best friend's advice now:

"In life we meet some great people who we would love to hold onto forever, but often the reality is very different when those "friends" can't be bothered!
Channel the time you have saved from this friendship into your others or into something else positive." Thanks Fred!

Feminism and murky waters

I am in a dilemma. Really - more than normal!!! I have a friend, or at least I thought I did, whom I really got on with and valued. We used to live close by, then they moved away, however, we still kept in contact, we shared a lot of common interests and ground. Many women who have children at the same time tend to make friends purely for that reason alone, but we had a firmer background than that, our careers were similar as were our beliefs and our roads have followed a similar path.

In this last year in the US, and it was happening in Belgium too, she has never contacted me. I have had to instigate any form of communication between us, be it phone, e-mail or anything. We have received no Christmas cards or birthday cards for the children, despite my sending for them. Life doesn't revolve around cards, but it does revolve around friendship and making an effort to maintain that. My problem is that it is blocking my direction right now. I am always "hoping" to hear from her.......I need to move on. Last night I wrote a "dear John", but have as yet to send it, it sits glaring at me, venomously, in my drafts - maybe it will be opening a can of innocent worms, on the otherhand, perhaps it will allow me to find some closure here. I am partly afraid that there is nothing there, she is just a lazy communicator, doesn't turn on her pc very often, problem is, my heart tells me that is not true. Another part of me thinks that perhaps I have done something to upset her, I know that isn't true, but.....
So the jury is still out as to whether or not I actually press "send". I have a wicked part that wants to stir up her attention, knowing that she will have read it hours before I even wake up tomorrow morning, but I know her well enough to know that she would not rise to that kind of bait, but I know truly, that I need to close off this portion of my life and wish for what it could have been instead of hoping for what it still might be.

Life is just so bloody complicated.

Another thought I want to express on here is a dilemma of a friend. She is currently working overseas on a VSO placement with her boyfriend. The country she works in is a very male orientated country, women are expected to be docile and supportive of their husbands. She is utterly frustrated as a female professional, as to not being recognised as such. She is being seen as P's wife, not as V, the nurse.

This must be such a hard situation for her to be in. She has come from an environment and culture where she has worked hard for what she has achieved and is now respected as such, only to move to a culture that purely sees her as her partner's "husband". I am not one to hand out advice as I know little about the country that they are in, suffice to say that; Vick, if you read this, a passive role is probably going to get you further right now. To the people that truly matter, you are respected, to those you are helping, you are doing precisely that. I am not a big one for stirring up the murky waters,(see the above drivel) but I truly believe in this situation, you are going to achieve more by "being less". Feminism will take a long time to reach Africa!!

Birds and Bees

It's funny how children change and develop. I was clearing up today in their playroom and it is adorned with maps that T. did when we were in Belgium. which got me thinking - He is so different to the way he was then, fairly timid, and an obsession for maps and countries. He would spend every waking hour pouring over maps and flag books. I am guessing once you are saturated with knowledge for one thing, you move onto other things, but this year he has not really shown a keeness for any one thing, other than to be as loud and (dare I say it) bossy as possible - I know the "positive" way I should express that is: organisational, but believe you and me, after 10 weeks of it, bossy is the word I feel entitled to use right now!! Perhaps this is the burst of testosterone that people told me about??!! I know it shouldn't, but it does worry me, that perhaps "that window" has gone, like another phase, perhaps I should have structured this summer more, after all 10 weeks is a long time? W. seems to have regressed a little in the past couple of weeks. He has taken to wetting himself - which worries me! I am wondering whether something is bothering him or it might be a medical issue? My current thought is that his summer has been particularly dominated by T. He has willingly played the games that T. has wanted him to play, been the characters he has been told to be. I think it will do him some good to go back to school where he won't be with T. all the time, then hopefully they can resume their brotherly relationship on a less claustrophobic level. My other thought is that over the summer, I. has started to join in and occasionally T. will choose to play with her over playing with W. and whether he is feeling left out? I am seriously contemplating taking him back to half days for a while, letting him perhaps go to a club or two in the afternoons and spend time with I., maybe full days for only 3 days a week?

As to other areas of their "development" - T. is continuing with at least 200+ questions a day - the latest of which resulted in his glee in learning that in 1999, when Shel Silvestein (Runny Babbit author) died, he was "alive" in my tummy. He took great delight in realising this and deciphered that he was "conceived" on or the day after our wedding (his words not mine) - of course, right now, this is "awesome" - I am just waiting for the day, probably not too many years from now, when he realises that this news/observation, call it what you will, was a result of..........er yuk ! "muuuummmm, that's sooooo embarassing!" - I can hear it now!
We have started to give him more leyway at bedtime now too, allowing him to go to bed to read by himself for half an hour before one of us goes in to finish a chapter or something, however, he loves to nosey in on what I am doing - often blogging as my brain is not totally dead by then! but I have to say, I like these moments, he will just chat with me, totally freely and I can tell he feels so grown up, like a preened up rooster!

I don't think I will get time to write much over the next couple of days, I am supposed to be going to the US Open Tennis with C. on Thursday, but, like the music festival, someone I think has other ideas. It is STILL raining! However, i think C. and I will still head into NYC, for a girlie day, hit a few shops, some lunch and ........will let you know!

Food for thought!

1) How old do you wish you were? An age where everything still pointed upwards!

2) Who do you think you look like? Me !

3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Pull the plug out!

4) Do you consider yourself kind? Yes

5) If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? I have one on my heel and getting another on my back

6) If you could be fluent in any other language what would it be? Spanish cos it's useful in many countries - I speak some French and a smattering of Deutch, or a really obscure language like "Ga" cos it's not but it would be fun!!

7) Do you know your neighbors? No - not sure I want to - she is volatile!!

8)What do you consider a vacation? Exploring somewhere new, lazy mornings, late balmy evenings, doing new things as a family.

9) Do you follow your horoscope? Nah!

10) Would you move for the person you loved? I did!

11) Are you touchy feely? Sometimes if my hormones are obliging! always with my kids.

12) Do you believe that opposites attract? I certainly think they can

13) Dream job? I already have it!

14) Favorite channel(s)? The English...... don't watch much t.v. so can't even name many channels over here!

15) Favorite place to go on weekends? Somewhere different or out in the fresh air

16) Showers or Baths? Both

17) Do you paint your nails? No - someone else does!!!!

18) Do you trust people easily? No, but I equally don't give up on people I trust.

19) What are your phobias? Spiders, Screwing up my kids, Drowning (not me!)!

20) Do you want kids? You mean there was a choice?? Nah! I would have more if I didn't feel so tired!

21)Do you keep a handwritten journal? Yes

22) Where would you rather be right now? Surrounded by my kids, family and friends

23) What makes you feel warm and safe? See the above

24) Heavy or light sleeper? Pretty light

25) Are you paranoid? Nope, I KNOW they are out to get me!

26) Are you impatient? Honestly - yes! I don't suffer fools, this is my weak point!

27) Who can you relate to? SAHM's, people who think outside the box, people who try to achieve a healthy, natural lifestyle, people who don't think with their wallets, people who try well, a mix of these and others.

28) How do you feel about interracial couples? I don't think anything, why should I?

29) Have you been burned by love? Yes

30) What's your life motto? Life doesn't kill you, it just makes you stronger

31) What's your main ringtone on your mobile? I have no idea, maybe someone ought to call me??? lol!

32) What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping

33) Who was your last text message from? Claire

34) Who's bed did you sleep in last night? My own

35) What color shirt are you wearing? Fuchia - sounds gross!

36) What are you listening to right now? The f******g dog barking!

37) Name three things you have on you at all times? My rings, a big mouth, hair

38) What color are your bed sheets? Brown and cream - god, that sounds gross too! I don't think I have much fashion sense!

39) How much cash do you have on you right now? No idea! probably zilch!

40) What is your favorite part of the chicken? The egg!

41) Whats you're fav city/place? I love Hong Kong and London (as long as I can get out again!)

42) I can't wait till... next week

43) What is your epitaph going to say? She came in as fast as she left!

44) What did you have for dinner last night? Roast chicken

45) How tall are you barefoot? 5'7"

46) Have you ever smoked? A long time ago at college I tried it!

47) Do you own a gun? Absolutely not!

48) water or tea? Water or herbal tea

49) What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? A paper bag and being gagged I expect !!!!!!!

50) Do you have A.D.D.? Sometimes I wonder!!

51) What time did you wake up today? I didn't, I was woken!!

52) Current worry? Our house at home is going to be too small!!

53) Current want? To be able to afford to live in a farmhouse in the country or by the sea.

54) Favorite place to be? In my hammock under a tree

55) Where would you like to travel in the future? Peru, Mali, China, New Zealand

56) Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs? Still writing this blog! in the UK probably, but who knows.........

57) last thing you ate? a biscuit - shhhh!

58) What songs do you sing in the shower? I don't

59) Last person that made you laugh? My younger son!

60) Worst injury you've ever had? Broken cheekbone!

61) Does someone have a crush on you? I seriously doubt it, whaaay too much baggage!

62) What is your favorite candy? rhubarb and custards - can you still get those?

63) What song do you want played at your funeral? "Perfect" by Fairground Attraction

Sunday morning!

Well there are grumblings abound here at The Beehive!!

First of which we thought may have been R's appendix!
He has been complaining of a pain just slightly lower and right of his navel in recent days, which on Friday evening was considerably worse than normal. I rang the equivalent of NHS direct to see whether they would be concerned enough to get him to the ER. He was classing his pain as a 7 - (see, too much time spent in hospitals these days, I am starting to use their talk!) The nurse on call did recommend he went, unsure what it might be but concerned that it could be a grumbling appendix. Of course, problem 2, it is 11pm, we have three children asleep in bed, he isn't in a fit state to drive and a friend's dh whom we tried to contact was still out of town. He went by taxi in the end, returning at 4.30am the next morning. Thus far, they haven't found a cause for the pain, BUT he has more kidney stones - currenly not on the move!! AND an oedema on or around his adrenal gland. So, we are now all eliminating dairy from all our diets and trying to stick to a mainly vegetarian diet because having to cook one thing for I, another for R, is proving challenging! W. as you can imagine - is the biggest fan of this idea!!!!!!!!!

Apparently one cause of reccurring k.stones is a build up of calcium (along with not drinking enough water!) SO, reducing calcium intake, ie much of our dairy and anything fortified with calcium, hopefully will help. However, he ALSO has IBS so that means trying to eliminate the foods that trigger that too, which is far harder as that is different person to person. However, we are starting with wheat type products and things that make you feel bloated - hopefully that'll help! Otherwise we'll be on the "fresh-air" diet!

So, great Sunday morning reading, if you are still with me well done, if you have vomited and done a runner, don't blame you!

Secondly today is the day!!! This morning, I braved the "Hundred Acre Wood" agricultural fair competition with my jam, photos and cookies. Smiling like I was a pro at this for fear of being beaten up by an apron-wearing spoon-wielding regular, I boldly walked into the hall adorned with plates of tomatoes, large squashes and some rather dubious looking egg plants! I was dutifully assisted by one such person who was checking in the entrants and adding our labels, she made small talk, but........there was a cool air!!! Judging starts in 10 minutes. I'll keep you posted!

The children start back at school the week after next. I can't believe where the 10 weeks have gone!! The school bus routes are back in the paper and soon the familiar rumblings of the school buses from 6.30am will begin our days! T. gets a locker this year as an elementary student, so he is pretty thrilled with that idea, he also does separate Spanish, sport and art classes where they actually leave and go to another room, that is making him feel pretty grown up too. W. has a new teacher, but is actually finding it harder to realise that he will be going back to the same school this year, poor mite, he hasn't stayed in one place long enough yet! This will be a surprise for him! I. will be doing mornings, as for me and my newfound free time! Well, I plan to go to Pilates a couple of times a week and then......who knows!

Sunday afternoon was spent in that place of "un"-domesticated bliss and chasing my tail. I tried, aimlessly to sort out W and I's drawers putting the stuff they have outgrown in a bag for Goodwill. However, I. decided to assist me and I spent much of the afternoon unbagging the stuff I had already bagged to fish out something that was still the right size! Earlier in the day I had sent R. to the shop to get some sorbet, (obviously ice cream is another no-no for poor I.) - living with us, you would have thought he had fathomed as to why he had been sent for sorbet.......however, he managed to return with sorbet with chocolate in it......well, of course one of the main ingredients of chocolate is............!!!!!! I have promised to ring him at work tomorrow with her diaper delivery for him to change as punishment !!
Mealtimes as a whole (I keep harping on about this don't I!) are proving tricky, not only from a menu perspective, but also from a "letting go" or even a Montessori perspective. We have been allowing I. the freedom of no restraints on her Stokke chair, but she is pushing the boundaries some what. Some days she sits dutifully until she has completed her meal or had enough, then gets down, which is the idea - however, I am also a little in opposition to the Montessori approach to this as I feel that as we eat as a family she could try to at least wait until the boys have finished? i don't know, what do you think? Anyway, MontessoriSchmontessori - she is now getting down and climbing up at the breakfast bar or feeding her leftovers to the dog or putting it in the bin before we have even had a chance! She is like a mini tornado, she can destroy the kitchen in the space of a nano second. So (I hang my head!) the reins were put back on this evening for our meal, Maria Montessori did NOT have kids and did NOT live in my house with three smalls particularly at meal times........! I will start afresh tomorrow!

UPDATE!! - My jam won 2nd place!! And I won a second for colour photography, 3rd for black and white and an honourable mention for my cookies! Curious thing is.......you had to make 6, then one presumes they test them.....however, there were STILL 6 cookies on my plate when I went by hmmmmm, hope they can't take the rosette away if they actually TRY them!!!!!!!!Ah well, here's to next year........gets quite contagious *blush*!!!!!!!

Proboscis monkey

What a week of ups and downs - quite literally. W. fell yesterday, he wasn't wearing his glasses and managed to cut his top lip badly. He unfortunately looks something like this poor lamb!! We had only hours earlier returned from the Opthalmologist who had scolded me for not forcing him to wear his eye patch!!! How can you force a 4 year old to do something! She told me she would be giving me drops to blur his vision if I didn't make him wear the patch! The way I see it is this, there is no way doing this patching is necessarily going to make his poorer eye any stronger, whereas there is a strong chance that forcing him to wear it is going to make him not enjoy school, feel resentful towards me, and is probably going to make him less outgoing.....he had already said he didn't want to return to soccer today with his lip in case they called him "beaky"!!! Okay, laugh over! But seriously. I am so divided with this. I don't want to wrap them up in cotton wool and mickey taking is part of life, but equally I don't want them to feel that to get on in life you just have to take the crap. Those that take the crap end up giving the crap I think. Anyway fortunately the heaven's have opened this morning, so the soccer choice was made for me.....I know, passing the buck!! He is currently obliging by wearing the patch attached to the lens of his glasses.

I. had a home visit yesterday from the Montessori teacher. M. brought her son who played with the boys, which was a great idea, it meant that I. had M to herself. T. did me proud though by offering and serving up drinks and brownies (homemade earlier in the day I hasten to add!) without help.

Today we went to R's works do: A cowboy cookout - or rather a CT washout!! The weather is out to get us at the moment!! Still, at least we got some lobster this year, but I am still laughing at the things we do to entertain our kids. Seriously, there was a small train there and the guy driving it went round and round in circles over and over, with kids so excited that they couldn't sit still and parents crunched into this minute contraption with moronic grins on their faces as if they couldn't have thought of anything more fun and adventurous!! Fortunately for me, our kids thought it was a little trite and beneath them (good on you guys!) I. rode the ponies, which she thought was the best thing "horse!" and W and T decided to throw themselves down an upturned bouncy Titanic slide about 45' up!!

For those of you that are disappointed in my lack of jam this year, I am going to gladen your hearts........it is being made as we speak! This year's efforts to keep the world in toast for another year, are peach and a new recipe - well, I made it up really:

Plum and Basil Jam
Same proportion of stoned plums (that is remove the stones guys, not feed it anything!) to sugar ie; 1lb to 1lb
Quarter of a lemon in whole (you will remove this later)
and around a dozen small basil leaves per lb.

Allow it to gently boil stirring to ensure the sugar doesn't go gritty, then leave it to simmer.
There really is no science to this (well, there probably is, but not in MY kitchen) I just run quality control every so often with a cold saucer, take a little bit out, roll it around the plate, as it cools it will run less, once you have it to great consistency, then stop it simmering.........that's it! Not rocket science!!

Okay, better go, this jam is gonna be a late entry in the CT seriously scary old ladies guns out agricultural fair!!! Let ya know next week how I do ha ha!

Early morning cuppa with a sour taste !!

Bummer! Horizon are not as green as they give out to be! For those of you in the UK (or elsewhere!) Horizon is a brand name for a company producing organic milk. Unfortunately they make organic chocolate and strawberry too, which the boys love: however: Read this
Fortunately we don't drink much milk now as I. is drinking soy or rice milk (kind of drinking it!) and we can get chocolate treats in the soy milk variety. Problem is, they are another Nestle company, they have a finger in many other pies that are not labelled under the original name! Why is it that companies that set out with all good intentions eventually fall into the trap of global consumerism and big $$$$?? Body Shop is another one, Anita Roddick sold out to L'Oreal - and guess who owns L'Oreal? - Nestle!!!

For those of you who are not up on the Nestle aversion that I have, read this!

Anyway, off my hobby horse!

Two exciting things have happened this week for me; the first is that I have finally become certified with DONA, so i can now put CD(DONA) after my name (what IS that all about???). Secondly, I am going to be published LOL! - Okay, so not anything majorly grand, in fact I remember the first class I taught getting more published than me with a book of poetry that we wrote! Still, it's a start. I am going to be in issue #20 of The Mother Magazine. It is a observational comparison between technocratic and holistic models of care in the maternity ward. If any of you read it, (it is a small eco-friendly/natural parenting Green Mag) you will have to let me know what you think, I will try to post a link to it, once it comes out, the issue is Winter this year. I am no scholar, and probably no writer either, but it is fun..... I think I might add "Writer" to my list of aspirations now!!

I have decided that once a month, I will put my list of books up on my blog as I read them, partly to instigate discussion (if anyone else has read them!) and partly because I know that I rarely get the time to browse in a book shop, so tend to find my choice of literature from other's recommendations, so here are some of mine.

This is my list of current reading material - I finshed Khaled Housseini and really enjoyed it. It was a different approach to a current trend. By that, I mean that there are now more than ever, books on Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran but this was written from a different angle. It gave a great insight - well for me anyway, into life in Afghanistan.

I am currently about to try "Do they hear you when you cry" by Fauziya Kassindja. I am interested to see if it reminds me in anyway of the book Desert Flower by Wasis Diri that I read some years ago - in fact, there is a girl in Ireland who probably still has my copy of that book!!!
The other two I bought today for my list are: "Living to Tell the Tale" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez (Life in the time of Cholera!) but am intruiged to find out whether it is actually a biography or not. I picked it up in the sale box and it is an edition with nothing on the back or inside covers to help me out!! I am sure the Amazon link will help me out when I have time to read it properly!!
The other one is "A year by the sea" by Joan Anderson which I picked up in the Women's studies section.

This afternoon we have been swimming in a friend's pool. T. managed to do a width on his own without armbands! Finally!! He is a great one for procrastination and finding reasons why he can't do something, but equally he hates to be the oldest in a group and unable to do something. My friend's daughter can swim unaided, so this seemed to the the instigation he needed - Way to Go T!!!! Now to get those bloody stabilizers of his bike.......

What the hell are cleats?

It is always friend that puts you in a better place! I had an email from a friend in Belgium yesterday telling me how despite the rain - I had indeed now experienced Glastonbury!!!!! True! I feel a little better for that - thanks Mandy! I was never "allowed" to go to Glastonbury and then later on, couldn't afford to go aahh - feel sorry for me! I remember one year at school, a group of friends all went down in someone's mini I think it was (no this was not the 60's, I just recall she had a small car like a mini, perhaps it was a metro, I dunno - the years have greyed the images!). Funny that I should think of this as one of the group also e-mailed yesterday. He and his partner are currently working for VSO in Uganda and also have a great website set up if you want to read it. It certainly makes for humbling reading!

Yesterday we went out to a very nice restaurant for lunch. We sat - literally - on the dock of the bay! watching the gin brigade taking their yachts out. We then walked around the ship yard, which was interesting as they had an old paddle steamer and a junk in for repairs! I think both of which were probably floating nightclubs now, but still, it was interesting for the boys.

Speaking of whom, they are off to soccer camp today for the morning. They are dressed in their kit and so unbelievably excited. You know, I think this MUST be a trait men are born with, to get so enthused about kicking a ball around.........I mean........come on guys............it's ONLY A GAME!!!!!! (ducks and runs for cover!!!!!). I wonder if they will still be as keen at lunchtime when they have been running around in the heat and (knowing T) getting utterly frustrated with the fact the ball isn't that easy to control! Apparently they can wear cleats.........well, they could if I knew what the hell they were? Anyone enlighten me?

I. on the otherhand is expanding her vocab. daily. She is stringing together short two or three word sentences and along with her sign language, we are conversing really well. She likes to practise new words and her current one, which is driving me crazy, is "truck" - only you can pretty much guess the problem I have here, she confuses tr and f, so she will stand and yell loudly whenever she sees one, wherever she is *blush* - I really must teach her "lorry" instead!!!!!!!!!!

I am starting to think about plans for my new challenge this year. I want to run a drop in once a week for mums to meet and chat in comfort, be able to breastfeed and ask questions and just get out. I did think about it last year, but wasnt' so sure as to the lay of the land so to speak. Now I have been here a year, I feel a little more secure of reactions and responses to this and am going to look for a venue. I think there is a REAL need here. Women are sent home after the birth and then there is no more contact until their 6 week check up. Often women don't leave the house, they are frightened, isolated and also don't think they should - where is there to go after all? Postpartum depression rates here are as high as 20 - 25% which is astounding. There is no organisation like the NCT who make contact with these women, put them in contact with others etc. I am starting the ball rolling by organising a pot luck picnic for all the moms I have worked with this year. Let's see what their response turns out to be!

Two weeks after the 36 hour marathon when i thought I was without any clients for a while and I am seeing a new client on Wednesday evening for a Sept 6th EDD and have been hired via e-mail without even conversing with the couple for a Jan 31st ish EDD !! Funny really! I love my work, but each new client comes to me with a different game plan and it makes me wonder what makes them tick. To hire a doula without ever talking to them, makes me think - they have a lot of guts, they are confident they know what they want, my website sells me well or.......they don't really know what they want but a doula is the latest fashion accessory!

That may sound a little harsh, but I find it hard to digest that you can spend, what could be 36 + hours in a vulnerable and intimate situation with someone you hardly know. I rang her today, just so I could hear her voice. I wanted to know that she "sounded okay" does that make sense? The more vague clients are, the harder it actually is to serve them as you don't understand what motivates them. The Sept. 6th couple, perhaps have not found anyone to date, or......haven't thought about their birth until the last minute - hmmm whatever happened to being responsible for your birth? I was thinking today about this, trying to be interviewed over the phone for this couple; you know, whatever most people say about natural childbirth, most people don't realise or exercise their options and desires until birth # 2. I think about my most "activist" type of friends, those that campaign for homebirthing, extended breastfeeding, attachment parenting etc etc. Most of these women had a medicalised first birth or bottle fed their first and learned from that point on. Point is, and I am not giving up here, but, how much can we genuinely expect from clients and their first births? Women are on a different curve with #1, inductions are higher, there is less lea-way between waters breaking and pitocin started with #1. I suppose what I am trying to put out there, is how do I/we manage to help women achieve a natural unintervened birth with #1 when these issues are against the situation???

Right gotta go, the toddler is throwing her perogative now!

Murphy and Sod

I hate these guys! They have the most unfair laws in the whole of the world. Yup I know I probably sound right now like a spoiled child having a tantrum and that is exactly what I AM doing, except it is with NO-one cos there is no-one to have it with!

So, what started out as a FANTASTIC weekend at the Vibes, turned into a total washout and an early ride home!
We headed off yesterday morning on what turned out to be a 3 hour ride north of Albany in NY. Even the trip brought some bits to tickle me! Here we were in the middle of the US listening to Dave's CD and particularly "The Lookout Road" (for those of you who are not familiar) D. is a very talented musician whom we spent time with in Ireland (along with M, his wife!). He wrote a song about a road that ran from Killaloe, where we all lived, to Nenagh along the banks of the Shannon. Anyway, it was a poignant moment (but I guess you had to be there) when we were seeing signs to places like Athens and Cairo and then suddenly Selkirk! It was just surreal! I just had a moment trying to envisage the lyrics that D might have for a song with towns as obscure and diverse as these, yet all on the same road!!!!!! Okay, so I am wibbling - but hell, isn't that the name of this blog !! My blog, my perogative!

At one point we made a restroom break and pulled up next to a big beardy guy sitting on the back of his truck, just hanging out chatting with a friend. Then all of a sudden he pulls out his harmonica and just starts playing. it's like, where in the hell else would that happen but naturally at a gas station in the middle of nowhere somewhere in the Appalachians!

So we arrived at the Vibes and pitched our tent in the family area. We hadn't brought our gazebo as we thought there wouldn't be room, but this turned out to be mistake number 1. Mistake # 2 was packing rain stuff for me and the kids and hoping R would put in his own (note to self - men don't pack for themselves IF there is a woman to do it for them!!)........I ended up wearing a piece of the tent as my waterproof as my dh snagged my paccy! Seriously -what happened to chivalry.

It was already drizzling a little as we were setting up, ironically, after R and I had had a disscussion coming over about how in the US where we are, we have never had drizzle, if it rains, it rains, then it's over, none of this feeble but yuky grey wet mist! Ha Ha Ha - someone was listening to me! Still, we thought it might clear, and to be fair, most of the day was pretty dry with the odd break out. So we went to listen to music and make crafts in the kids tents. T and R wanted a go on the Orbitron so W and I and I made a wind mobile and looked around the vendors. We never actually got to sit out and listen to any bands, partly because we were right next to the stage in the kids area so could hear them, and partly because someone or something else had better ideas for our evening;s entertainment, which was meant to be -a nice warm balmy evening, boys having a dance, us having a listen and a beer, I. perhaps dancing too or sleeping in the stroller, on our blankets by the stage.

We went back to the tent to cook at about 5 (after bumping into someone from school !!!!!!) and the heavens openend and didn't relent until around 4 this morning. I. and I ate our pasta under a small umbrella we found and it was decidedly miserable!!

By 7, the tent was letting in water as the children were unable to stop touching the sides and we weren't sure what to do for the best. Eventually we made the decision to drive home. In hindsight it was the best decision, as when we were driving the rain was literally horizontal, it was the worst rain we have had here for a long time and there was no way we could have stuck it out. The bed clothes were feeling damp even at 7 and my motherly instincts had to kick my selfish "I wanna stay" instincts out and think about them.

It is absolutely typical though, for the whole of the summer, there hasn't been a weekend that it has rained. We chose this festival for it's pretty much guaranteed warm weather after all, mid August!! So I am feeling somewhat dampened in spirits myself this morning! We probably won't be going next year as we are most likely going to be going to the UK around this time, but there is a festival the weekend before in Newport RI that we might head up to and then do the Vibes again the year after next.

Oh, well, back to the usual today then! Sulk over!

Bloodroot

This is a fabulous restaurant in Bridgeport! I went there last night with M. She is an amazing woman. She teaches at the school and has been doing so since it first began some 18 years ago. She is also a birth activist and along with her work, tries to encourage attachment and child led development through her work at the school as well as the promotion of natural birth. She is one of these women who knows everyone, has read so much literature and yet is not forward or loud. She invited a midwife friend of hers whom she had wanted to hook me up with for sometime. This lady......as I much expected, being a friend of M's, was so interesting to listen to. She has left practice now after many many years and now lectures at one of the great universities in the area. It was interesting to hear her perspectives having been a homebirth midwife, now to be on the other side of the field and actually having some (perhaps?) influence on the birthing community by teaching the next generation of CNM's. The thing is, I think, with birth in the US and anywhere where it is OB led, people are frightenend. OB's are frightenend of not being in control of something that is uncontrollable and shouldn't BE controlled! It is like trying to control a fire or water....it will take the path it wants to take. I also think - you can kick my arse for saying this, but, here, particularly, there is still a huge male influence within medical text books and curriculums within the birthing world even if OB's are female, they have read and learned from the same school of thought and men are far more technocratic than most women, it is a fact, they like instructions!!! In summary, birth has been housed in the wrong category, along with illness, in hospitals where most people are saved or cured, what is there to save or cure about a low risk birth? But technology, even a monitor, is there to let you know when things are wrong and thus sending out the wrong message! There is a need for a judicious use of technology during birth of course, babies are saved and so are mothers, but equally there are many more births that are intervened in or c'sections performed that are unecessary..........Okay, you can wake up now, rant over!

Anyway, back to this restaurant - It is an old boat house overlooking the harbour and was run by more M's (if you know what I mean - wise women!). There is no waiter service and it is totally veggie and organic. The food was amazing and the ambiance - well, I am surprised people ever leave!
M, being M, never actually got directly to the point as to why she wanted to talk to me - she sent a cryptic message earlier in the week, so I was guessing she had some plans up her sleeve! but then that is what I like about M so much! There doesn't need to be an agenda - life goes on, another pal calls, so hell, let's invite her too and see what comes out of the evening! So I am non the wiser for M's plans as yet, but am better off for a new location for an evening out and have two new cookbooks to boot!!

Today the boys did their plays for the parents at the drama group. They have had so much fun. W. has actually asked to go regularly, so I may have to see whether it would fit around the hectic after school schedules! I am contemplating getting a regular babysitter who might help for a couple of hours after school two nights a week and then be a regular sitter for Friday or Saturdays too. That way, I can be a taxi without having to take all the kids, both boys can do stuff AND T can do his homework under supervision if I have to take W somewhere else. Think this might be a plan!

Funny how things crop up in a day though. I have been asked the same question twice today, by two different people. T. asked this morning what I missed from the UK. His list consisted of Legoland, Fruit shoots and his friend D. Which, I guess for a 6 year old is a pretty predictable list. W. apparently missed his grandma (hear that mum!!) and that was it - oh, and the swimming pool she took them to. But then, thinking about it, what exactly is he going to remember about the UK, he was only 20 months when we left. As for me, I think, apart from family and friends, I miss familiarity. I was trying to explain this to Aimee later in the day when she asked too: I see it as this; familiarity is the not having to explain what you meant, the knowing without asking how a system works, the understanding of certain words. I think in summary it is what comes with being brought up in a country and culture that you can never get (well, that might be argueable after many years) in another country.

Okay, I really need to get on, I have to make sure we have the car loaded, download today's pics. and then probably cook some dinner for the kids. I wonder what they will make of marinated tofu and chinese cabbage - I can see that will fit in the category of "uuurrrgh and Yuk"!!! Ah well, I try..........*sigh*

Fishing and Placentas

This is me
Well, okay, hopefully less of the elephant but I have just managed to find five minutes amidst the giddyness and squealing and basket of ironing.
I think I deserve a cup of tea too, but that would waste my five......by the time they have sniffed me out and tracked me down, my five minutes would be up! It has been a long day too. R is going through year end at the moment (yawn!) so he has been working every night for the past three weeks, so I have hardly had much time to see him. It has also meant he has come to bed really late, woken me up, and is then restless in the night because he has a lot on. Last night he woke up at 2.30, and went downstairs so he wouldn't disturb me.......He is so thoughtful - problem is, he had already woken me up and then proceeded to tell me why he is going !? He then returned at 3.30 and then woke up to go deep sea fishing at 5.30 am !!

yes, you did read that right deep sea fishing is what I said! Anyhow, he has texted me from the boat to say that he has caught his tea! 29.5" of it whatever breed it might be and also around 20 bluefish which they are going to all share between them. Good job my freezer is not full, mind you, I think I will let him gut them. A placenta is about as bloody as I can get and that is without the thought of how I might then "eat" it. That never really tickled my fancy I have to say but I understand it is quite delicious lightly fried with garlic and herbs and is full of nutrition (well, that part is obvious!). There are quite a few things you can do with your placenta though - should the desire take you of course!
Still, I am going out tonight with a friend so there is no need for me to spectate!

Yesterday I went along to the salon to have my eyebrows waxed and took T along for the experience! He wanted to know why ladies choose to have their noses decorated and their eyes polished! I have funny little visions running around in my head of a selection of finishes somewhat like the car-wash. He did then say he was really glad he wasn't a woman!

Thesps

It might not be Shakespeare, but they are loving it!! My little princes have found a niche (for now - probably best to call it a fad or phase as most things are!). This drama club they are going to this week has proved to be great fun. Both of them are actually putting on a little play for Friday this week and T has made a buddy which is also great, not so great is that they don't live locally, are visiting grandparents which is why they are attending and are probably moving to California in September, so it may be an affair to remember. He lives with his parents in Manhattan and has a little brother a couple of months older than I. so it would have been perfect *sigh*
Still we had a fun afternoon having a picnic and then a playdate at the park. I. insisted on wearing her wellies again today, despite yesterday being the rainy today and today being more like 78 again! A contrary day for her by all accounts.

I know how to live and get excited - I had a delivery today .......
Ambrosia custard, Ame and HP sauce!! Good website, Jolly Grub, stocking all those little bits that we do actually miss. There isn't much we miss on the food front as you can get much of the same here, but salad cream and HP are the crux to a good potato salad or bacon buttie (or so I have been told - I don't like bacon so wouldn't know!)

I am thinking of setting up a website with some of my piccies on so that you will be able to take a look at what we have been up to. Thing is, before I do, I need to learn how to lock photos so that they can't be lifted onto other places, not so much for copyright, more for safety, I don't like the thought of pics appearing where they shouldn't be. I am also writing a couple of articles for a magazine, good job there is spell checker!

Update: Okay, I have added a link to my new "photoworld" in the links, or you can click HERE This has taken most of my time this evening to sort out and somehow I have managed to download a crappy photo of me and T dressed as clowns and can't delete it. I think that it is here to stay and haunt me forever! Ah well, I guess the camera never lies eh?

Alice sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better with the time,' she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.'

I am inextricably linked to my diary. I need to get over this. My life is run by my fat black book that follows me - or probably leads me - everywhere. It would be fun to live a life where spontaneity ruled! But, that is not the case in our house or most house with children I don't doubt! Problem is, it is rubbing off - or perhaps it is in built with T. He has to have his days planned out. Right now he is planning Halloween down to the minutest details and it is only August! Our conversation this morning ran something like this:

Me " We might have to look after E and L today as C has to take S to the hosptial"
T "Oh great! so they are coming over to play?"
Me "Maybe, I don't know yet, we are keeping it open"
T " So they are probably coming?"
Me " no, not probably, maybe"
T " so is that before or after we go on the picnic and when are we going peach picking?"
Me " After the picnic, but we aren't going picking today because S has broken his arm"
T " Okay, so we are going to drama, then on a picnic, then E and L are coming over, what time?"
Me "no, only maybe"
T "That is what I said"
Me "Probably means highly likely which means you will be disappointed if they don't come, Maybe means perhaps"
T "That's what I meant.......when are we going peach picking then? Shall we go next week?"
Me - aaaggh I need to consult with my PA!!!!!

It makes my head spin!!!! R keeps asking me if I would like an electronic organiser - ha! That would then mean no escaping ever as it would be small enough to carry. At least with a large filofax, I can't carry it around all the time so on those moments that I am free from it's shackles I am a free spirit!

Only three weeks until school starts again - I can't believe where the summer has gone. I know I will be really glad in a couple more weeks as the boys are beginning to argue more intensely again. I find this. When they are around each other all the time, they get no respite from each other and their arguing increases, when they are at school or when they were doing camp, they were the best of buddies as they hadn't seen each other for a while during the day! I then seem to spend all the time just refereeing and really working on positive reinforcement, when all I want to do, and occasionally do do, is yell at them to be quiet and sort it out!!!

I. has her home visit coming up in a couple of weeks - I think I might see if I can get play dates for the boys as I can see some monopolisation going on!

Today we are going for a picnic in the park. We were going to go peach picking later but my friend's son fell off the monkey bars yesterday and was in the ER last night with either a horrid sprain or a fracture, so we will wait until he is better as they were coming too.

This weekend we are off the the Gathering of the Vibes in NY state. Time to put the tent into action. I am going to take I. in the Ergo for when her legs get tired, but I think I may take the stroller too in case she wants to sleep (or I do!). I need to make sure I have a ton of stuff for them to do, although I think there are activity tents for them as well. I don't know whether or not to bother with our stove as we are only going for two days (one night) and there is food there. I think we can probably get away with the bare minimum, just lots of water - oh and a box of cereal and plenty of raisins and fruit. I hope it is going to be good and that I haven't bitten off more than I can chew. I'll let you know!

I am going to let T's hair grow a bit more. He has lovely hair (okay, he has just come in with I's clips in it! but that is NOT the topic here!) It has gone really blond in the sun and he has some curls. I think I will just get his fringe trimmed and see how we do with it. I can hear my mum now, cringing, no, this is NOT a Romeo Beckham - that kid is a surrogate girl. I just think it looks so nice and free and he has plenty of time to have it cut into a formal bowl or skin head!!!!

Right - time to go on that note, I can hear them playing with I's jewellery box!

For those of us with sons - god bless!

I forgot: I wanted to post this on here for all to share!

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a
crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and
a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint
can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a
long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a
baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's
already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even
though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-
year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same
sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys
do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department inAustin , TX has a 5-minute response
time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make
earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their
friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid. ?

Fun in the water

What a lot of fun!! This weekend I was kayaking with a group off the Sound. We did about 4 miles (not far really I know!) but it has certainly got me hooked again. I love to kayak, always have ever since I went down the Dordogne as a student, but there has never really been the opportunity. So it is time the MAKE the opportunities. We live less than 5 miles from the beach or one of several paddle-able rivers, so there is no excuse. I am going to take T next time I go to try him out and see if he would like it. Then maybe occasionally him and I can take the tent in the summer and drive off somewhere for a weekend. There is the Adirondak park near us, also some good places in Maine, not to mention the coastline. I am thinking of getting a single and then we can always hire a double if he wants to come.

On Sunday, I think I must have decided I hadn't had enough sea (well, more like a mill pond at the moment!!) and we drove up to Stony Creek and went out to the Thimble Islands on a boat. These islands (apparantly =- I missed most of what the guide was saying in between trying to cling on to Izzy who wanted to dive in, and trying to take a few snaps!) are just rock structures in the sea and people have built homes on them (holiday mainly). They have no running water, electricy or drainage, but they are great places. Those of you that come over during the spring, summer and early fall, this is really a trip worth doing, oh and you can fill me in on the commentary too!!!

There were a couple that caught our eye - one, where a guy didn't want the hassle of worrying about the hurricanes or the insurance, had built a really cool gazebo and then just a garden. He then lived on a house boat moored to his "garden". The other was around from a $23,000,000 mansion with its own tennis courts and mini golf (how the other half live eh?) and I think this caught T's eye, more than anyone elses (it might of caught R's too, but he is too gentleman-like to say !!)

Fred - remember the circus???

Well at one point a rather scantily clad, but pretty woman made the perfect dive off the cliff at her house into the sea. It was about a 20' dive. All T could talk about afterwards was the "cool lady who dived into the sea" - for him that was definitely the focus point!!
Bless, his future dates have a LOT to live up to!!

The boys are doing a couple of hours each morning this week at a drama camp and then next week they are doing the same, but soccer camp. I feel like I can now have the rights to those awful bumper stickers that say "mom's taxi" as I seem to be spending most of the day driving up and down.

I've been to yoga this evening. i was meant to be at Pilates, but they had re done the studio floor so it was shut! I nearly went home, but then decided not to waste my hour and do another class. Now I am undoing all the good work by enjoying a glass of wine and listening to the cicadas from the window. I love the summer here, it is so musical. R and I often disagree about the windows, cos I love to open them to listen to the wildlife and he likes them closed at night because of the AC! The sound of the cicadas is hypnotic, I love it. In the winter however, when it is whipping up a gale, he likes them open, to hear the storms, whereas I like them shut cos they are too noisy!! Tomato , Tomaaato me thinks!

Go Baby, go baby!!!!

She did it!!!!!!!!!!!
She finally had her baby. My mum rang on Wednesday morning at about 6am having been up for 5 hours with broken waters (and being too excited to sleep I think!). I got my childcare action plan in operation and then headed over after breakfast to see if we could get some contractions going as things had been quiet so far. She had already rung the hospital at 1am to inform them (dang!) and so they had then agreed to her staying put for 12 hours - they had wanted her in immediately! However, after 5 hours of walking, using the Robozo and making soup to sneak into the hospital and eating crackers and juice, there was still not a lot happening. We also tried a few herbal tinctures to help her uterus.
At the hospital they didn't seem in a hurry with the Pitocin, so we could have stayed at home and she could have slept, they gave her until 1am to walk and try to increase her slight cramping. It was actually okay we were left alone, able to move about and .....get this one .......encouraged to EAT!!!!!!! Yay - I was at the same hospital 6 months ago and my client was not allowed to eat! I was so happy to see this change. We did a lot of walking, talking and eventually some dancing, throwing up (her, not me!) and eventually she found her rhythm and settled into her contractions either leaning back into me as we swayed or forward onto me as I supported her.

Anyway, to cut a very long (36 hour) story short. My client ended up having pitocin but still managed (at 4'11) to push out her 8lb3oz OP daughter who also was caught under the pubic bone (shoulder dystocia) with NO epidural or other meds. Incidently the baby was not OP earlier in the day as my client had an ultrasound to check her position because of the reluctance to do internals due to the rupture, so we spent a lot of the labour on all fours, or leaning forward and upright. I have to say I wasn't convinced the baby was OP at all, I am just repeating what the OB said. She had to have a little assistance with the vacuum cup and the haematoma was on the BACK of her head and I could have sworn she (the OB) twisted her as the head came out, possibly to help with the SD? but was THEN face up??!! - hmm I imagine I was so tired I was hallucinating. Anyway, my client was absolutely exhausted, but the sheer determination was humbling. I have never witnessed so much strength, composure and inner power from someone.
Interestingly enough, as I was talking with the nurses afterwards, who were also very impressed with her, they mentioned that they have only ever witnessed a "few natural births" - wow!

Back home and they all coped impressively without me again......T wanted the low down on the baby and the mom - I think the message is getting in having witnessed him at his grandmother's in the holidays playing "mummies" with his little cousin and telling her that "you don't lie down to have babies" !! What a star ! I am now working on "babies don't have to be born in hospital", hopefully by the time he has children, he will have the complete picture!!

The boys have finished in camp today, we are having a playdate with some pals this afternoon, they are coming over for pizza and "movie night" - the boys are so excited that they will be watching a movie after tea and getting to stay up later than they normally do! Life is so simple :-))

Cloning or Horcruxes??

Okay, so I have to admit that I am feeling somewhat dizzy at the moment. Having just received the schedules for starting school in September, and orientation I am not quite sure how I am going to be in three places at once as is required of me on one day !!!!!!! That is then not to mention how I am going to fit in scouts, swimming, piano and soccer practices for two children (poor I. doesn't get to do anything cos i can't fit her into the boy's social calendar!). I am wondering whether to get myself cloned, albeit that might be tough on the rest of ya, or whether to take a leaf out of the book of "He-who-must-not-be-named" and make horcruxes of a "nice" variety and just split myself several times over! Each child can then have a "mama" to take them where they need to be........hmmm, wonder if each mama comes with new car, fresh husband, different wardrobe etc etc or do we all have to share!!!!!???

You may, or may not, have noticed that there has been little said about my mum whom was lined up for the induction tomorrow......that's because she has decided NOT to go ahead with it. Good for her! She called her OB and told her how she felt and the OB was fine with all that. She is going in to be checked on Wednesday. You know, I really think that with the stress of the induction hanging over her, now gone, she might even go into labour naturally before then!! So I could well be sitting here this time next week now!! I hope she doesn't go into labour on Saturday morning - I am kayaking on The Sound and might be a little hard to page! oooer, I will just have to paddle down to Greenwich instead!!

"Me man, make camp - you woman, bake cookies!"

So today, we have had somewhat of a division of labour!!! I think it began when T refused to come to do the grocery shop with me and I ended up taking I as per usual! Then later we decided that before we head off up to New York to the Gathering of the Vibes in two weeks we'd better put up the tent so we don't look like complete muppets when we get there. As I took the tent outside to start to assemble it, R shouts after me that he thought he was doing it! I ask you! This is quite obviously NOT a job for a mere woman - "me man, make camp!" he grins!! So, being "man" he sits to read through the instructions before assembling the biz. Meantime of course, a bit of logic and years of setting up tents on "neanderthal" camp - I have, of course, pretty much put it up without the instructions! Not meaning to brag of course (tee hee!) but tents these days are really a piece of p*** after ground sheets and wooden poles, lashing, knotting, making tripods for wash stands and the need to dig moats around your canvas construction for fear of flooding! I bet that is bringing back some memories for some of you!
T is currently enrolled in boy scouts for September, he is desperate to camp and fish and climb trees - I don't know where my little boy who played with dolls has gone.....I can hear the "Ug" coming now!!!!!

It is with some hesitation that I am actually making this common knowledge but........I have entered the local agricultural fair this year in several classes with me jam, cookies, carrot cake and photos........I don't think this bodes to well for any remains of street cred that I may or may not have had. I think it is like confessing I have just joined the WI!!!!!!! But, might as well join in with community life and it is a fun day after all. Small town mentality gets everyone in the end!!!!!!! Okay, so off to practice my cookie receipes!

Diahorrea................

T has been poorly today! He stayed off camp and has been with me. He had a bit of a "run in" (no pun really intended!) with a few cherries I think. Basically, he was late down for breakfast yesterday morning, so I decided to give him complete trust and independence and let him do his own breakfast as I needed to change I and ensure W had cleaned his teeth properly. As usual, I got side tracked by one or other of the kids or animals in this menagerie and the next thing I hear is a repetitive chudding noise downstairs. Thinking it was the dog, destroying something I come down to find that T's breakfast has consisted of around 20 cherries, which he is cutting up on the table. He assures me he washed them........

So I have to say, I was kind of looking forward to spending a bit of time with just him despite his malady! So what, did we do? Well, after having re-arranged a meeting with Wild Oats to run a talk there on childbirth choices we headed to our local organic cafe - which to those of you who know American coffee.........is an absolute gem to find!! American coffee (sorry guys!) is dire!!!! Even old Starbys can't make coffee like my local coffee house - and it's organic too!!!! The secret - the owner is from Europe and really knows how to make strong espresso the proper way! YUM!! So we headed there for half an hour during which time, T seemed to miraculously recover enough to drink chocolate milk and eat a granola bar!! Then we had a couple of errands to run. On the way to the errands, T decided that he wanted to go to the car wash for the morning's entertainment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I ask you!! Okay, so my car hasn't been washed for a year (we're saving the environment!!??!!) and desperately needed it, but come on - he's 6 !! However, I soon found out, that my son is NOT as green as he is cabbage looking!! THIS car wash is not your bog standard run of the mill hairy roller jobby - oh no, this is the full monty! Inside there are play places, lots of "temptations" to nag mama to buy and - the best bit!! Red soap suds that you can shoot out of guns onto the car as it goes past. That was fun I have to say!! although, T every so often would mutter "missed him" - not sure if he was genderising the car - or aiming for the poor car wash guy!!!!!!!
However, an half hour was suitably destroyed this way!

I love spending time with my elder son, but he can talk for England (or the US, it's bigger!!!!!!!!!!). I have been asked about death, souls, soap and the environment, what "yes" is in as many languages as I can muster - (not many but here goes - oui, ja, da, si, wai, yes, - which then led to a bizarre giggle about oui - oui meaning noddy... yadda yadda!), and not to mention the conversation about why I wouldn't buy him processed cheese and ham slices in the pharmacy when I offered him water (yeah I know, MEAN MAMA!!!)- and believe me, that can really be a heated discussion!!I truly feel mentally drained this evening, not to mention very inadequate as the "world's walking encyclopaedia on anything and everything".
To be honest - I am not sure which end of his had the diahorrea!!!!!!!!!!