Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Raindrops on Roses and whiskers on kittens...........

So what were YOUR favourite Christmas gifts this year? Did you secretly love the sweater that Great Aunty Mo knitted for you in lime green with a picture of a cat on the front? Or that 9785 piece jigsaw of your front lawn in full greenery? Or how about that really great book on Ineffective Political Leaders of our time in all its 4,000,000 pages!!!!!!!

In the Beehive there are really few rules as to what makes a good gift, most of them set by me:

1. it occupies said person for more than 10 seconds
2. it lasts with said person for more than 10 seconds

Simple really!

Ours particular faves this year were*:

Master Beehive the elder - his Lego City that has kept him and his dad amused since about 1pm on Christmas day (I love pressies that amuse both child and dad!! you really feel like you are getting your monies worth - there should be a government health warning on the side though - buy this gift and lose two family members for around 12 hours!!) We have a few more pressies that fit this category that we have lined up for the next few days in order to give mama time to knit or go to the gym and burn off that Christmas dinner!

Master Beehive the younger rather took to a bug catcher with a wonderful, battery operated suction facility. Even though there are no bugs to catch at this time of year, he has thoroughly enjoyed "catching his sister's hair" and sucking up little bits of grime to show me during mealtimes!!

Little Miss Beehive was particularly taken with a pack of Charlie and Lola playing cards - "I am ever so honestly playing a game of flip flop mammy, even though I really truly and completely haven't got a clue what I am doing!!" This too has kept her amused for quite some time.

For me there was a nice, lush black scarf from my mil (chosen by me however hee hee!) and an espresso machine from dh (which might be apparent from my jibbering post today!) I was also the delightful (erk! Should read delightED - but perhaps I am delightful too???) recipient of a beautiful piece of jewellery - I think he might have actually been sucked in by the adverts !! I just hope I manage to keep this piece where it is meant to live (around my neck!) rather than lose it somewhere into oblivion in my parent's ensuite!!

I feel a little sorry for Mr Beehive the eldest of all olds, as I bought him a couple of replacement sweaters (he has had a sweater cull recently!) because his actual present was a trip to Vermont earlier in the Fall. There ain't no easy way to wrap that up, oh and he has a daily present of ................. ME!

So now we are moving to 2008...........I wonder what the year will bring? Hopefully for all of you a happy, healthy and wonderfully fun year.

Mwah x

*disclaimer - this is not to say that ALL presents received this year were not wonderful, of the best thought and love and we are very, very grateful THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

Monday, December 17, 2007

A Christmas ditty

What did YOU do this weekend then?

In the Beehive, we have been preparing like many other families of school aged children, for the end of the term. Hence the baking has begun and I need you to keep up!

On the first day of Christmas Master Beehive said to me
I need to knit a masterpiece.
On the second day of Christmas Master Beehive said to me
Four Grandma's jumblies and a Secret Santa knitted masterpiece.
On the third day of Christmas Master Beehive said to me
Thirty choc chip cookies, four Grandma's jumblies and a Secret Santa knitted masterpiece
On the fourth day of Christmas the school rep reminded me
15 hot mincepies, 30 choc chip cookies, Four Grandma's jumblies and a Secret Santa knitted masterpiece
On the fifth day of Christmas Master Beehive said to me
30 more crunchy cookies!
30 choc chip cookies, 15 hot mincepies, Four Grandma's jumblies and a Secret Santa knitted masterpiece.
On the sixth day of Christmas Little Miss Beehive threw a fit
30 boggin cookies, 30 more crunchy cookies, 15 hot mincepies, 30 choc chip cookies, 4 Grandma's jumblies and a Secret Santa knitted masterpiece.
On the seventh day of Christmas Mr Beehive said to me
I need 48 cookies, 30 boggin cookies, 30 crunchy cookes, 15 hot mincepies, 30 choc chip cookies, 4 grandma's jumblies and a Secret Santa knitted masterpiece.
On the eight day of Christmas a little voice said to me
Don't forget the chutney, I need 48 cookies, 30 boggin cookies, 30 crunchy cookies, 15 hot mincepies, 30 choc chip cookies, 4 Grandma's jumblies and a Secret Santa knitted masterpiece
On the ninth day of Christmas the teachers reminded me
Where is the jelly? Don't forget the chutney, I need 48 cookies, 30 boggin cookies, 30 crunchy cookies 15 hot mincepies, 30 choc chip cookies, 4 Grandma's jumblies and a Secret Santa knitted masterpiece
On the tenth day of Christmas I said to me......
Sixteen bottles of vino, one pot of valium, seventy cups of coffee and one happy family!!!!!!!!!

So this evening I am putting the finishing touches to 160 cookies (well I couldn't make all those and not leave any for my gannets!) and sewing a button on a bag!

But I did manage to make this little number that I am proud of! I knitted this in Karabella Festival wool which is really fun if not a little tricky.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Hemorrhoids from Heaven!

No matter how old you are or what anyone tells you - toilet humour is always funny! I just thought I would share with you two delights that my brood came up with yesterday.

After picking LMB up from school yesterday lunchtime, she started the usual tribal loo hop.

"I need to go poo poo!" she declared "I can feel the bubbles popping in my bottom"

Needless to say I fell about (of course whilst assisting her with her request!)

Second incident was later whilst I was taking Master Beehive the elder to his school concert. We were chatting and I got him engaged by telling him about the meteor shower that is due on Saturday. I explained that these little particles were called Geminoids as they were passing through Gemini. He was really enthusiastic about this and rushed into the concert to tell his teacher and classmates all about this information.
Post concert I asked him if he told his teacher and if he had remembered the name of the particular particles.

"We-e-e-ll" he said, "I did tell them about it, but I got a bit stuck on the name. I couldn't remember, so I told them that lots of Gemarroids were falling into earth's atmosphere on Saturday".

I only thank goodness that he got the first letter correct - I have horrendous images of the preceding letter of the alphabet falling from the sky on Saturday night!!!!!!!

Talking of things falling from the sky; today we are off for an impending snow day.........I am pleased to announce that at 11.40am it has finally started! Upto 3 - 4 inches. I guess we are on for Piles of it ! (sorry couldn't resist!)

Monday, December 10, 2007

Tutus, monkeys and greetings of the season!

So, t'is nearly the season to be jolly, but right now we are being manically busy in the Beehive. End of the school year always brings madness to the nest, but more so during the festive season what with concerts, parties, trees to decorate, gifts to buy and send and cards to distribute. No wonder all the mama's are drunk by 11am on Christmas morning, they are so blinkin' knackered and amazed they have survived it all one more year. It is a sense of shock!

Friday was Mr Beehive's work do! The one day of the year that I don a party frock and I do like to do it with gusto. Trouble is, most years we have to contend with Mother Nature who has other plans for us. Naturally, just as she did in 2005, she treated us to a nice sprinkling of snow that began around 3pm. Normally this isn't an issue, but at the moment she is teasing with these flurries that are actually catching out the road salters. Hence it took Mr Beehive over an hour and a half to come 8 miles with the boys after their party and, fortunately, being the man he is, only 15 minutes to get ready to turn around and go out again. Our driver for the evening was Mr Doom who proceeded to enlighten us with information about the state of the roads, all the accidents, how the car we were in was not suited to the weather (oh goody!). However, it has to be said, Mr Beehive's work knows how to throw a damn good bash. Last year was a OO7 theme , this year was a masked ball..........Our christmas tree this year now has a theme "The Theatre dahhling" and is sporting all the beautiful masks that I delicately managed to remove from the event after a few glasses of vintage bubbly (well, they would only chuck them out, everyone else was doing the same and yes that is a pathetic lemming type of thing to do and no! of course I won't tell the kids that and yes, I do telling them not to be lemmings - Monkey see, monkey want and monkey was just a teeny weeny bit tipsy!!)

Saturday was Mr Beehive's birthday. We had a slow kind of day, got the tree and, much to the disgust of the children, put it up but told them they had to wait to Sunday to decorate it! We have a rule in the Beehive that Christmas doesn't officially start until after Mr Beehive's birthday. Of course, this rule doesn't apply to my need to play a little bit of Croony Christmas Crap on CD prior to this date - there's that boggin' monkey again!

Today Master Beehive the younger has begun tap lessons. He has been hankering after these for quite some time. So we have found a fun class for him to attend and he was unbeliveably excited, wanting to practice on our wooden floors the minute we got in with his shoes on Saturday. Today, however, he is a little more reserved about the whole experience.

"It is noisy and it is full of girls!"

If only Billy Elliot wasn't so fully of cussing, I would perhaps suggest we watch that, however, I will just have to convince him that the dancers from Hi Five started in the same tap lessons as him with all the girls and came out okay! I hope he gets over this and makes a go of it. He has such a good sense of rhythm and loves to dance.

Michael: So you're going to ballet every week?

Billy: Aye, but don't say owt.
Michael: Do you get to wear a tutu?

Billy: Fuck off, they're only for lasses. I wear me shorts.

Michael: You ought to ask for a tutu?

Billy: I'd look a right dickhead.

Michael: I think you'd look wicked.

I think he'll do grand!

Sunday, December 02, 2007

The end and beginning of an era!

Yay we have snow! Well, more like dandruff right now, but it's a beginning. The forecast doesn't look promising for it to stay which, has the advantages of the children being in school so I don't have to cancel my meeting tomorrow morning, but the disadvantage of the rush off to school and the lack of hunkering down inside in front of the fire.

I think we have reached unchartered territory! Mr Beehive, so it would appear, has a silent crush.....*gasps*. Tomorrow he has a female friend coming back for a playdate and dinner. He has been preparing for this event ALL week, to the point that he has revealed some of his inner most worries to me to ensure the date goes well.

I have been served up a list of duties I need to perform before and during this date. Firstly I have been banished out into the snow to clean out my car!!!?? then I have to serve up the specifically requested menu of gluten free noodles with tomato sauce and butter (if she is allowed to eat dairy on that day) followed by.....a dessert (something that in our house consists of either yoghurt, fruit or occasionally ice cream. I remember an ex-boyfriend's mother always serving that same choice up for weekday puddings every time I went over.....and here I am, doing it myself with full recognition and kudos to her, that after 8 years of trying to be inventive and creative for children's meals, I am exhausted with the main course, so puddings are relegated to weekend treats!!) at dinner time!!???
Normally a playdate in my son's opinion consists of lots of charging around the garden, climbing the trees, generally getting filthy (not caring about the state of my car interior) and then some hot dogs and salad for dinner........this is a new realm for him (and me!)!!!!!!!

Finally, he has asked to have his hair cut!! Now this is serious. Naturally I am saddened that he wants to shed his gorgeous long white blond curly locks.......and HE is serious because when I offered to cut it for him, he requested that he be taken somewhere "proper" with "experts" (not remotely offended of course!). So this afternoon we are heading to my stylist whom I trust to listen to my motherly whinging and whining and give him a trendy, floppy.......*short*aaaggh it hurts to say it...boy cut! Oh and she won't laugh at me when I ask for the hair in a tupperware!

Now I take my leave to mourn!

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Turkey Time!!

I'm a slacker I know!

Thanksgiving has been and come and I haven't updated my blog.

So what to tell? Thanksgiving was......well Thanksgiving. Turkey, trimmings and hours of preparations all to be quaffed in half the time under the disguise of alcohol so it never tastes as it ought anyway!!! Of course, it is a far bigger thing to the Americans than it is to us (one of my dear friends was up at 5am shoving stuffing up her turkey's bum - now there is the first difference - I don't DO 5am and turkey butts, my style of cooking is always and shall always remain "It will be ready when it is ready and I am a vegetarian so I shall cook you meat but a refuse to venture to deeper depths!!") but I do like the idea of a celebratory day to give thanks for the harvest and our fortune at having food on the table (I know this isn't the main story behind Thanksgiving, but it works for us aliens!!). However, it always amuses me how people have to shop like it is the end of the world on these events, argue and hustle each other in the supermarkets over the last gallon of milk and then complain afterwards that they have WHAAAAY too much left over and they don't know what to do with it???!! For me, that kind of defeats the object of being grateful for being fortunate enough to have food on our plates only to then chuck half of it away afterwards. We only have one small container of leftover turkey in the freezer and I made turkey and veggie puffs with the leftovers for the day after Thanksgiving. Other than that, we are all out of leftovers.

This year I was on call, so was expecting to get to the point of putting the bird in the oven only to be called forward a week and my client rings me to say she has had the baby. It happened so smoothly she didn't feel the need to call at good for her and a teensy weensy thank you for not waking me up!!!!!!!

Instead Mr Beehive was able to leap on a plane last minute and hop over to the UK for his grandmother's funeral. Naturally, things always happen when Mr Beehive is out of the country, this time I came down with some unknown stomach bug and the Little Miss fell off the second to last step of our wooden stairs and tried to stop herself.....with her teeth!!! Fortunately she hasn't lost any, but we now sit and wait to see whether she has destroyed the nerves and ends up with a black tooth permanently or not.

Last Saturday, Mr Beehive and I went into the City for the day. We set off with an agenda that half an hour into our jaunt we had ditched in favour of taking off our watches and just wandering. I have always said that NYC is not a city that you can get lost in and just stumble upon stuff like London is. Well, that might be the case to an extent, but if you know where to wander, the architecture and diversity is stunning. The buildings always amaze me, so Gothic and 1920's classic, so tall and vast, so intricate:

Battery Park

Buildings near the Courts.

The Woolworth Building

The Flat Iron Building

We spent most of the day just drifting from Battery Park on the very south end of Manhattan up to the Frick on 75th st (?) near Central Park. It was so fantastic not to have any commitments, any reason to have to rush off somewhere, no lunches to prepare, no taxi services to provide etc. By around 4pm, after Dim Sum and a great reflexology session in China Town, we had gotten to The Frick Museum that Mr Beehive had wanted to see (I am not so much of a pre-Raphalite or Renaissance kinda gal) so we wandered in there for a look. Then later on we decided, off the cuff, to go to see the Bodies exhibition by the Seaport. That was so interesting. Mr Beehive had not been very up for it.......his squeamish side I think! Only it was far from squeamish, in fact you had to remind yourself that they actually were cadavers on many occasions as they looked almost plastic. It is a fabulous exhibition for anyone who is wondering. Really educational and informative and not at all gory. They have done an amazing job, the cadavers have been preserved initially to mortuary standards, dissected, soaked in acetone and then pumped with a kind of silicon or polymer and sealed in a vacuum chamber after preservation to maintain them in this permanent state. For the layperson, this is a great insight into how the body functions and also what a mess one can make of the body by smoking, drinking excessively and overeating. If you get a chance, go to one of the exhibitions, they are all over the world I think.

We now have our watches firmly back on once more to resume parental duties........Sir!!