Friday, August 29, 2008

Anarchy in the mac and cheesy troops

The Mama needs a life, the mama needs a life, High ho the derry-o, the Mama needs a life

The life is gonna come, the life is gonna come. High-ho, the Derry-O, the life is gonna come.
The holiday draws closed, the holiday draws closed. High-ho, the Derry-O, the holiday draws closed.

She loves her bairns to bits, but they're getting on her tits. High-ho, the Derry-O, the she loves her bairns to bits.

Thirteen weeks is just three too long. Ten we managed without incidence, without me losing sight of my sanity and without me needing to resort to alcohol or anything else!

However, the bickering has reached it's peak! Yesterday was the worst with them screeching at each other literally every 3 or 4 minutes.
Normally my kids are pretty good friends, but I think that there was a large element of tiredness from traipsing around NYC on Wednesday. Master Beehive the elder, who can normally entertain himself for hours, doing all kinds of nothingness and somethingness, actually declared a state of emergency yesterday!
yesterday he was................................

B O R E D !!!

What am I to do?
We have run out of recipe ideas, arts and crafts are running low, all trees have been mastered and climbed, there is lack of sun for the pool today, the games cupboard is running dry, jigsaws can be done with eyes shut......

And to make things worse, my boys have discovered Daddy's music! From the seventies and eighties. Apparently Mr Beehive the elder's favourite song right now is Anarchy by the Sex Pistols - i give up!

hey well, tomorrow is Saturday, Daddy can have them with Billy Bragg for an hour or two lol!

Lunchtime we have had a friend over for a playdate and he stayed for lunch. He is an avid mac and cheese fan. We are not American enough to do packet mac and cheese, I always make my own ( you can throw in a bit of garlic, a pinch of pepper and occasionally some decadent cream for added richness and whop it under the grill for a nice browned effect). In fact, it beggars belief as to why anyone would buy a packet mix, but there you go! So, Master Beehive the younger is trying to heatedly sell my mac and cheese ....

"You've got to eat my mom's mac and cheese, it's the best"


"You have to eat it, or at least try it..."

Finally the playdate relents he will indeed try the infamous mac and cheese

"Well?" asks Master Beehive the younger? "what do you think? do yu like it?" He is on more of a tenter hook than i am, it appears there maybe somekind of playground wars going on in the "Mom's mac and cheese"department.

"Hmm...." replies the playdate, nonchalantly "I've tasted better!"

I smile under my beard!

Meanwhile the conversation turns to careers when they grow up. Both Beehives decide they want to be chefs and ask the Playdate what he wants to be

"Not a food critic by any chance?" I ask, sniggering?

"No, I want to be the President." he announces, finally looking up from the plate and resting from shovelling in pasta.

Okay, so he's aiming high.

"Well that'll be lucky, as you'll be able to have your own chef to make mac and cheese just the way you like it" I say to him and his, now empty, plate

"Yuh huh!........." he mumbles once more head down, chomping his way through the second rate pasta dish "is there any more?"

Yay - one up to moi - Mom's mac and cheese ROCKS!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Babies and 'Broidery

I love my job! I love it when I hear about my clients having their babies and I love it each time an anxious mum rings me up and says - "I think my water just broke!" I feel so excited for them and so honoured to be called and asked for advice or help, or even to come along and attend the birth.

I think I have now clocked over 25 births since I first came to the US back in 2005 and have taught over 50 couples! That's around 75 babies - make that 76 as there was one set of twins. I am now beginning to get repeat clients which is also fantastic, seeing them evolve from their first birthing experience to their second.

I am currently on call for a second time mama who had a four hour birth last time around! I hope I make it!!

Christmas Challenge!

Okay, so this is it. My Christmas challenge to myself is to use as much as my fabric stash as possible without buying further AND to make at least one gift for each family member this Christmas. I had hoped to do this last year, on my green and frugal campaign, however, this year we have more pressing need to be frugal, partly due to our potential return to Blighty next summer and having to cart all this stuff back and partly due to a housing situation that we are working through. So, I am trying to cut back on my fetish of fabric and yarn and finally pull out my finger and make those projects I planned on last year! So here are today and yesterday's efforts.

This is a cute barrett holder that I made this afternoon, it has wading and card inner to ensure it is firm and then the trimming is fixed at points. The barrettes then just slide and clip on. I popped over to a friend's house this morning for coffee, she has an embroidery machine! Eager to show me how it worked, we ran up some embroidered names!! I intend to make this gift up again for my god daughter.

This is a little lavender and millet filled beanie doll. Mr Beehive has a god daughter who will like this I think. I think I might actually make a little tooth bag for her and she can then be a tooth dolly.

Mr Beehive laughed at this one! Don't blame him really, but what do you buy for the couple that really have everything. I know they'll enjoy this over their Scottish Sunday Post and warm barm cakes!

Oh and this is a stealthy brag here! See the blue ribbon! This skirt won first prize yesterday in the local Agricultural fayre!! Watch out Hugh Fearnly Knittingstools - I'll be up there with my crotcheted onions one day giving you a run for your money!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Christmas Day in Summer!

Look how big our sunflowers got!!!

Okay, so there are:
127 Days 10 hours and about 10 minutes until Christmas day (well depending on what side of the Atlantic you are on of course!). You really needed to know that under a picture of sunflowers didn't you!!?!

This year, to continue the "Living green" theme (and to also help us with our finances as we are deciding to do something very radical for us....which I will tell you about when we are further down the line) I am crafting many of the gifts for our friends and family for Christmas. This is the reason for the early start.

I can't put all of them up here, as I know this blog is read by some of the future recipients, but for now there are:
A felt tipped pen case for my niece.

An apron for my MIL which was made using a vintage tea towel for the pocket on the front.

I am currently finishing off a London Beanie for my oldest nephew, youngest nephew has a gorgeous hand made wooden logging truck (not made by me!) and a drawstring bag for him to store all his toy cars in. My oldest niece has a knitting bag with bamboo handles and I will put in a couple of balls of wool and some nice bamboo needles to get her started on her addiction!

And finally, if anyone can identify what this flower is, found in our vegetable patch, it is pink and fluffy, in fact, Little Miss Beehive's perfect flora!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Finished Hat!

My first ever project on circular needles!! An adaptation on a theme, for I needed to add earflaps and a tie to ensure it stayed on her head, but overall i am really happy with it. Hope she wears it now!!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Beehive menagerie

Yesterday was somewhat surreal.

About noon I was rung by someone who was looking for a Childbirth Educator. Not unusual for someone who IS a childbirth instructor, but rather than looking for classes they were looking for one and their studio for an upcoming movie!!!
They came over to assess my teaching space, asked if I would be happy being filmed (tis apparently a love story - I think my role may take place AFTER the lovin' bit n'est pas!!??) and could I provide three pregnant couples to sit in on "the class"!! Well, always eager to please and cutting a long story short, three hours later I may have signed myself up to my debut movie performance, I do hope I have place for my golden globe on my mantel!!!

The original hive diva though, Little Miss Beehive, would like to inform you that we are currently driving a "Sheep" whilst her painting is drying on the "Weasel"!!

Funny, I had sure feelings that the car we HAD been driving was actually a lemon!!
As if I don't have enough going on in my life lol!!!!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

To be.... fashionable, or not to be....fashionable?

It has been an underlying question for years - "Nature or Nurture?"

I, on the otherhand, have a far more pertinent question as of late:

Fashion sense: Born with it or develop it?

Both my boys are just beginning to take an interest in their own clothing. Master Beehive the Elder hates shopping for clothes with a passion, but will endure flicking through a catalogue or indulge in some online clothes shopping to ensure he has items to his liking, preferably Boden plaid pants or ghastly sport type shorts!!

Master Beehive the younger and the Little Miss are, however, happy to accompany me to buy clothing for them and actually boyo has quite a reputation at school for his sense of fashion.

Master Beehive the elder struggles, much like his dad, to understand that plaid and stripes really don't go that well, orange tshirt and red pants are not the best option. He will need a good partner when he is older to help him with his wardrobe!!

Master Beehive the younger, however, seems to manage to just throw any old cast off that his brother used to wear and it lands on him with a somewhat ruffled and bedraggled cool style.

The Little Miss, just so I don't miss her out, is kind of a mix between the two of them: a kind of Fancy Nancy wear a tutu, over Pippi Longstockings stripey tights, with a funky boho sweater (actually probably more like me ho ho!) I definitely think she has potential with her developing individual style!

Their newest fashion interest has been their hair. Master Beehive the younger asked me the other night to cut his again, when we were finished he asked to borrow some of his father's wax that he then ran through his hair creating a fantastic style that looks somewhat older than his six years!! (and bugger me he also gets the cheek bones - in fact, both boys have those!)

On seeing his brother's new design, Master Beehive the elder, who has longer floppy hair (gorgeous, but not particularly style-able) decided he needed to do similar. He refuses to let anyone near his hair with a pair of scissors at the moment and yet hates it when it gets in his eyes when he plays his violin or sport (I actually did a David Beckham on him the other day with one of my elasticated head bands and it looks pretty kewl!). He also took the wax and blobbed a load in his hair and proceeded to try to comb it back......oh dear!! *sigh* I think we will need to work on this with him.

So, the question I put to you out there, does he stand a hope in hell that I can "teach" him some fashion sense, or shall I just hope he avoids the fashion police by meeting the next Gok?

As for my current fashion sense, it would appear it is CARS!!! Yes, my new car, that went to the garage last week to be fixed, was returned to me yesterday, only to be returned back to the garage with the same problem appearing before I even got it home. So I am currently sporting a black jeep in my driveway - they say black is slimming, so I hope if I stand next to it, I might lose a dress size!!

My aim for 2008 is obviously to work my way through all the Enterprise Fleet before Thanksgiving. How am I doing so far???!!

Saturday, August 09, 2008

I have "the answer"

Sometimes I outstand myself!!!

Today is one of those days.

The secret of parenting I am sure has been a well hidden one for years, if not undiscovered even. Well, now for just $19.99 I will sell you the answer...............................

Aw bollux, you can have it anyway!!

On Thursday we discovered, after living in our town for nearly four years, that there is an old fashioned sweetie and ice cream emporium hidden behind the local grocery store!!!

Now we have found this, it has become "my secret"

Today we will frequent this place as long as:

1. the bedrooms are tidied
2. they don't bicker AT ALL
3. no one whines
4. no one cries
5. ( ) left open for me to add any more stipilations when the mood strikes me

It then works something like this:

Moi: This room looks a bit of a mess.........that's a shame....
Small Beehive: I am just about to do it, come and see it in a few minutes

Few minutes later

Small Beehive proudly displaying gleaming room with all things put away (or at least hidden out of sight!)

Small Beehive: Beginning of whine "muuuuuuuummm........"
Moi: "Scoops!" (name of ice cream shop!)

Small Beehive: "Stop doing that, you are so mean.........(add what you will!)
Moi: from the safety of the kitchen to up the stairs " Scoooooooops!!"

I think you get it!

I have had a remarkably peaceful morning so far with surprisingly minimal effort on my part !!!

Friday, August 08, 2008

The house that Jack (Shit) built!!

Ever get the feeling that your week has been a little like the below? If so, this one's for you!!!

This is the shit the raccoons left upon the bins after emptying them, at the house where the Beehive's live.

(yeah okay, so I took a picture of turds!! I know, I know!)

And this is the dog who has a sore butt and a stupid collar who abides in the home where the raccoons shat after emptying the bins in the house where the Beehive's live

Then there's the car that got towed away that sits in the drive of the dog with the sore butt where the raccoons shat after emptying the bins in the house where the Beehive's live.

(I would show you a picture of the car that has just been towed away cos it broke down after having it for two weeks..........but - it got towed away so that's that!!)

This is the buyer of the house in the UK that has been "bought" for six weeks but without anything moving forward, that comes with the car that got towed away and sits in the drive of the dog with the sore butt and the racoons that shat after emptying the bins in the house where the Beehive's live.

This is the mama who lives in the house trying to keep it all together and not pipe bomb the buyer of the house in the UK that has been "bought" for six weeks but without anything moving forward, that comes with the car that got towed away and sits in the drive of the dog with the sore butt and the racoons that shat after emptying the bins in the house where the Beehive's live.

I think she needs a really stiff drink!!

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Grey and Gloomy clouds

One weekend each year I am allowed to indulge myself in my inner hippy and go to our local Glastonbury. One weekend each feckin' year it pisses it down with so much rain that II really DO get to experience Glastonbury. Ooh, same weekend EVERY YEAR!!! in AUGUST!

So, DH has buggered off to the UK this weekend, house viewing, leaving me with les sprogletts to take to the festival. I invite a good mate who also has small one of Little Miss's age and we are all geared up with our Radio flyer wagon full of food (!) for our day at the fest, a day of manic dancing to bands we have no clue about with people who are probably young enough to be our kids!!! Normally we camp, but this year decided to go for the day as we have always been rained out in the tent.

We lasted half an hour before there was the biggest thunderstorm ever, the sky erupted, marquees started to float the music was cancelled due to the potential death element from the lightening!!

We stuck it out for three hours, bribing the kids with ice creams then called it a day.

Got home to find the dog has an anal fissure - yup, brown sludge everywhere and he can't stop licking it.This is now 7pm at night on a weekend and I have to take him to the emergency $100 per second clinic to get tablets and feckin horrid collar for the poor lamb to stop him licking his arse off before Monday, when she'll put him under and drain it.

Our local pizza place has now started taking orders on line and last time Mr Beehive ordered this way t'was a success, so at 5pm, I order pizza for the kids, only for it not to arrive, ring up pissed, cos kids are hungry and melting down and we still have the vets to get through. I get told that they only just got the order, they are sorry, but the orders have to go through headquarters .......IN CALIFORNIA!!! Cancel order as they tell me they'll probably be there within the hour!!?? So have to go out to get pizza on the way home too.

After the vets and pizza pick up we get home only for me to find one of kids has played around with the buttons in the feckin car (it's new!) and now none of the interior lights go off when the car is locked. It takes me another half an hour in the rain to work out what they've done.

Eventually get the kids into bed aroudn 8.30, sit down to watch tv and finish Little Miss's sweater coat only to lose it with the pattern which is poorly written and cannot work out the buttonholing. TV proves to be just as worthless so decide to go and talk to the dog for company.

Poor dog, can't cope with the collar, won't lie down, won't sit, won't eat, won't go out and pee, just stands hanging his head, when he isn't banging into everything around him and freaking himself out, so.......... I folded and took it off him for the night so he can at least sleep!

Why does all this only happen when the old fella is AWAY????!!!

Oh and Mr Beehive has gone to buy the house of our dreams only to discover that some arsehole blokey who already has three houses and wants to buy this same house TO RENT OUT, is also in the bidding. We want the bugger to live in, HE just wants another income - life tonight ain't fair! Does he really NEED to purchase another family home, a place or several in the village school and a wonderful family garden just to rent it out to a nice couple who may not give a shit about it? (I'm a renter and I do care about my house, but I am not going to invest money in it or spend hours in the garden when I will eventually move away from it!), wouldn't a nice townhouse suffice??? And I have even chosen names for my chickens!!! See those sour grapes on the vine!!

Oh and finally just to add more salt to the wound, another friend who works for the singer of Deep Banana Blackout, rang me later from the festival to say she'd managed to get me a VIP ticket if I could get a babysitter and get back!!???!!

Okay, miserable rant over! Tomorrow is a better day (I hope!)