I fear this entry is going to be getting things off my chest that have been bugging me over the last few days.
First of all I feel compelled to mention how sad I feel that had I not miscarried back in March, our baby would have been due now. I can't mention it out loud in real life because........well, it isn't something you talk about! If you talk about a baby that never was...well, you come across as a bit "affected" by it all, probably depressed, you know what I mean (not how I feel btw, more how society views it), people don't know what to say to you. It seems sad that although our baby never made it to full term, s/he will never be determined by anything other than my memories - even Mr Beehive hasn't mentioned it. I suppose women are more attached to things than men can be? *shrug*. It isn't helped that we are now struggling to get pregnant again! I had read that most women who miscarry are generally pregnant again by the time their original due date comes around, I guess I am just not one of "most" this time, but it had given me hope.
My motto is generally that "life doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger" but sometimes, it just kills a little part of you. I am sure that our life right now, with all the uncertainty, isn't helping. I am just hoping that once we have some security about where we are moving to next and when that will be, everything will fall into place. That is tha attitude i am trying to keep right now at least.
My second rant of the morning (I am doing well, it's only 9.30am on a Sunday) is to the BBC headlines in the paper that declare than an "independent study" shows that boys are proven to be behind girls at school - even when they start at five http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/7674472.stm
This, I have to say, isn't new news, people have known this for years. But read down. Note the paragraph that says:
"Children with two working parents tended to do better than others. They were four months ahead on vocabulary and two months ahead on visual tests."
Now, I am all for encouraging parents to return to the work place if they want or need to, but is there not a smattering of this sentence that irritates you? So for all of us SAHM's out there, who are educated and interested in our children's upbringing and development, apparently, according to THIS piece of tripe, we are doing our children a disservice by remaining at home with them. We should be putting them in day care from the start whereupon they are going to be four months ahead of their counterparts, because naturally, we never communicate with our children, we don't bake, garden, draw etc etc and a nursery with two or three carers (maybe all between the ages of 18 and 20!!) to 8 or 9 kids is a much more educational environment?!
Of course, I am pretty sure that isn't what they mean, not least what they discovered. We are talking the outer realms of this, the parents that don't give jack shit about their kids' welfare who are at home on benefits probably versus the parents who have a norland nanny whilst they go out and work - not really your average picture!
I can't abide these "surveys" that, quite frankly, survey a small percentage of the population extremes and then print their "findings" in the national press (probably to suit the government so that more women jump back into the workplace a few hours after giving birth regardless, to ensure they don't fuck up their off spring!). I don't suppose for once there might be the opportunity to not have women feeling guilty for the choices they want or have to make.
"There are lies, damned lies and statistics!"
Finally, here are some of the projects I'm currently working on. The school is taking part in Save the Children's Knit-One-Save-One campaign this fall, so the everyone is frantically knitting newborn hats. No longer can you hear the sound of children's voices in the hall, all you hear these days is the clicking of needles lol! So, here is one of the four I have already made and the other photo is a new project I have started, my first bit of cable. It will be a scarf for Mr Beehive when I am finished. I love to knit in the evenings while I am doing something else, but unfortunately cable isn't very easy for me as yet, as I tend to lose my place, so this may or may not be completed before next winter!