The fat lady sings......
As of today I am no longer a GCSE student - and probably a good job too as I don't seem to be too hot at it!
My final exam was this morning, so off I pootle leaving mother to sort out the smalls and make sure they're all in the correct schools at the correct time.
8.45am: I'm sitting at the college surrounded by youngsters, most of whom I'm around 1 and a half times their age. Uncomfortable? Much! Get's better -wait...
The big boss comes out as there's obviously been some conflab behind closed doors as she is holding..."my file" - Suddenly I'm 16 again, my zits erupt, my heckles rise, hormones use me as a bagatelle game, I clutch my mobile phone to my breast and I feel defensive - "God! wot have I done nah?"
"Are you the very old has-been GCSE Biology student making us all laugh by taking the exam today that 15 year olds do, who looks like this?" she says shoving my file and photo in my face.
I remember I am actually 38 and find my manners and humility - I smile apologetically, although quite why I'm grovelling for being me...
"Yes" I twitter with a large grin on my face.
"You are doing Biology 1 yes?"
"Yes" bigger twitter - bigger grin as I'm aware that all eyes - young students and their parents (who're probably also younger than me!) are boring into my back!
"You are here very early"
"Am I?" *nervous giggle*
"Well, your exam is this afternoon"
Hugely large floor needs to open NOW!
Of course I am not remotely familiar with the peach piece of paper she's now flapping in my face stating in its gloating ariel font that the exam was PM not AM, not remotely, no, not at all...what piece of ruddy frickin' paper that's been stuck to the ruddy frickin' fridge for the last ruddy frickin' three months?
I'm so busy juggling the diaries of everyone else in my family, remembering where Mr Beehive is tonight, where I'm meeting mother, where children 1 and 2 are and that child 3 is at his friend's tonight and needs picking up at 6 and the teenager is at her friend's tonight and needs picking up at 7.30...
I remembered which packed lunches for which children; who is vegetarian and who eats meat, snacks for all, bus fares for one, homework accounted for for two and one pile of signed consent forms to go back for another. I remembered the right cereals this morning for the right children, who has milk in their coffee, who has tea, who hates decaf, who wants the real McCoy. I had a bag with the stuff I needed to take back to the store after the exam, both the receipts and I even remembered my pencil case, ruler and calculator.
Problem was...I hadn't bothered to check what time the bloody exam actually was!