Thursday, April 26, 2007

Reptile shoes and underwear!

Love 'em or hate 'em but they are still about. The curse of the croc has finally hit The Beehive. I put off being lured into their snare last year, but have since relented. Much as I thought they were a cheap pair rubber/plastic hell, I have since discovered their benefits, despite being ssssooohh last year dahling!

  1. They let your feet breathe and therefore the stench in the summer of no socks and shoes is considerabbbbuuuullyy reduced aaahhh!

  2. They take all of two seconds to put on, so getting out of the door in the morning (see previous posts!) has become almost.....dare I say it??? *whispers* Quick??? Oh and they are so so Montessori - La Beehive the younger can put them on herself and it is obvious when they are on the wrong feet!! Shame they fall off just as fast!

  3. They wash, so are suitable for toilet training - Little Miss Beehive has piddled over her pair many a time and they can just be soaped and rinsed. The same goes for any other bodily fluid!! Oh and they don't slip either, so if you pee, you don't skid in it - fantastic!

  4. You can put soil in the soles and pack it up and then grow crocuses out of the little holes - tres chic n'est pas? I like to make flower containers out of all my old shoes - Ben, you still have my Doc Martens!!

  5. They make a great pencil holder.

  6. Dogs love to chase and chew 'em - cheap rubber toys!

  7. They come in any colour, so you can mix and match with all your summer outfits! Very fetching for a nice summer wedding??

  8. They make a fair substitute for a baseball. A bit like welly wanging, only croccy chucking.

  9. On a bored afternoon, the whole family of crocs in assorted colours, becomes a family of puppets - they are fab to draw on!

  10. One can drain vegetables or fruit - not tried this hot yet, but working on it.

  11. You can fasten string through the holes, attach it to your belt to make a great Blackberry holder - or substitute purse (english variety!!)

  12. Do the same to hold copius amounts of chocolate!

  13. Do the same as above to hold a bottle of alcohol - actually a full bottle is a little on the large size, but put one either side for great aeroplane-sized wine bottle holsters!

  14. Starbucks coffee holster!

  15. In fact do the same as above for any possesion that is required to be on your person at all times.
  16. Do not use them as a bucket for catching vomit......remembering the strawberry box incident as an innocent student and the P.S. added to this entry!!!

Disclaimer - do any of the following at your own peril - including being a victim and buying a pair. Warning - crocs cannot be used as prevention against any form of sexual disease or pregnancy!!!!!!!

And then to underwear!

So, we are on pair number 4 today, having worn pink for school and poohed, then purple, and poohed in the toy section of the consignment shop, then stripy and peed at home on the patio and then the last pair were fed to the dog! Smiling and through gritted teeth, my little pissypoopy mound is piling up by the washing machine.......I wonder if I can adapt a croc to act as a teastrainer inside Little Miss Beehive's underwear????

And did I mention the telly???- it is STILL off!!

PS: edited to add:

This evening le Grand Mr Beehive was at a playdate, only to become ill. Dashing to his rescue, I picked up only for him to vomit hence over me and aforementioned crocodilia! Thus this evening, I am reduced to watching t.v and drinking chardonnay - weeeeellll the damage has been done for me no amount of tv watching or reduction will save my soul!!!!!! Bairn is now in my bed but still able to "feebly" demand - waaaatter and huuuuggg, everyso often - for effect?????? hmm, 'tis for you to decide!

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