Saturday, October 20, 2007

Heckling in 2D

Here's a question for you: Why do people shout at the telly when they are watching sport? What do they think it is going to achieve? Do they think that for that split second the guy on the pitch to whom they are directing their tactical criticisms will stop, look up and say:

"Sorry mate! I know I am a bit crap today, but the heat is unbearable, my wife washed my strip in a new washing powder so I have a dreadful chaffing going on and there is actually a really fit bird sat in the stand who keeps putting me off. But I agree with what you are saying I really should throw it to x in order to make that try, I know you are an armchair coach and you would have done it much better. Sorry!"

Do they hear us shout at House that he ought to do better with his diagnoses of patients and stop being such an arse, or yell at the guy in Pushing Daises that there is absolutely no way in real life he would be able to snog Anna Friel through plastic wrap without afflicting serious injuries. Perhaps, in fact, the contestants of American Idol or Dancing with the Stars would, truly, dance and sing much better, were they to be heckled and remonstrated from a sofa in Connecticut on a Saturday afternoon? *Okay, forget that, there is NO amount of heckling that would improve some of those reality shows!*

It is mind boggling.

It's the Rugby world cup final. Mr Beehive has ordered it from Cable to watch. He actually doesn't really watch much sport on TV, but he does love the Rugby. He has in fact, entrapped both Master Beehives to this pastime so they are all in fact down there yelling at the screen.

It sounds something like this:

"Come on! What ARE you doing???"


{{{{Pause}}}}}


"Yeah, what IS he doing?" (Master Beehive the elder in annoyed agreement)

"Yeah! ..........Can I have a drink?"






"Ooooohhhhh, NOOOOOOOOOO!"

{{{{Pause}}}}

"That SILLY man!"

"What is this game called again?"


Oh, and England lost ooops!

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