Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Displacement is a four letter word

Waaaahhh! I feel like stamping my feet and having a big meltdown somewhere right now. This so so hard. We are now in final days before the children finish at the school and we are then alone for a week before we leave for Ca.
The house feels like an oddly weird, but familiar stranger now, there is barely any furniture, our life has been wrapped up in paper and placed in boxes and removed. I feel like a part of my soul has gone with it. I feel totally and utterly displaced, neither really belonging here any more, or belonging in our new city.

Days are up and down, I have never felt this way about leaving somewhere before. When we left the UK, it was exciting, we didn't know what to expect, we had no preconceived ideas, then moving onto the States we hadn't really had enough time to form the bonds with Belgium that we have here.

Last night the boys did their school presentations. It was a lovely evening for them, I was so proud. But it really brought home that in less than three days now, we won't see some of these wonderful families ever again, the boys won't get the opportunity to continue through this amazing school and graduate from middle school having had one of the most diverse and organic educations that I have had pleasure to be a part of.

This morning I was given the opportunity to just sit and observe the families coming in and dropping off their children in some of the primary classes. It was absolutely amazing. I have been doing this for four years, but today, for some reason, I saw it in a completely different light. It brought my own memories of bringing the children when they were younger to the same classroom doors and our own "farewell for the day" rituals. Now we have the biggest and hardest farewell of our lives.

I am excited, of course, I don't remember who said "when one door closes another one opens, but we are so busy looking at the one that has closed that we don't actually see what is ahead of us" or something like that. It might have been Helen Keller... Anyway, I can really see how it can be easy to get so embroiled in living through the past that you forget to live in the present and look forward to the future. I need to help the children focus on what is to come but not to forget what they've had.

It has been one of the most amazing adventures of our lives. It wasn't exotic. It wasn't always wonderful. It was inspirational though and I am so grateful for what it brought us.

What else can I say?

I may not post now until we return to the UK, bookmark me and I'll be back!

1 comment:

Digz said...

You are bookmarked already, and I so relate to all you have said.

Good luck on the move hope it goes smoothly.

Shame we didn't get to meet up while we were on the same side of the pond, maybe see you on the other side sometime.