Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I know how to be a raisin

Okay, so I'm still posting, and it's still raining, but I've decided to hit back at it! We're off on holiday in a week's time, so having spent yesterday starting to put stuff together to pack, I'm feeling a little less vulnerable today! So...

They're going to learn to cook today!

I have high expectations. I could have chosen football camp, ponee treking, swimming, but instead decided to send them all off to cook.

It's something they love and pester me to do, frequently and, it's not that I don't cook with them and have ideals of this time of bonding with one or other of my children

but our cooking sessions end up being something like this  (not that we resort to German - unless I'm cussing of course!!!)

MB1: Can I make something for dinner tonight please?

Me: Sure, why don't you see if there's anything simple in your cook book.

MB1 (about half an hour later): I was thinking of making a terrine of rare double headed blue goose pate that is only found of the slopes of Mount Wilhaupoopoo for starters, followed by a non cheese, non dairy, cheese souffle filled with the souls of a hundred cloud fairies and a baked alaska with organic ice cream from the albino cows of the furthest northern point of the Brallititpoke in deepest darkest Utternonsense. (or something equally as ridiculous and complicated)

My son prides himself on being a bit of a "foodie"

Me: Hmmm, I was thinking more along the lines of tuna pasta bake and a fruit salad or something?

MB1: Okay then - (he's also easily pacified!)

Sometime later during preparations:

MB2: Oh, cooking, can I help?

MB1: Whiiiiiiine!

MB 2: I can peel the pasta!

Me: Sure, why don't you wash the peppers and you can grate the cheese.

MB2: Yayyyyy

MB1: Sulk!

Sounds of productivity for a short while:

MB2 OOwwwwwwwww, I grated my finger! Muuuuuuuum, it's bleeding!

MB1: Mum I need to pour off the boiling water can you help?

MB2: My fiiiiiiinggggggggggger

MB1: Muuuuuuuum, water?!

Me: Right, okay, right, get down MB1, I'll do the water in a moment. Go and get the plasters. MB2 - run your finger under the tap I'll just remove the bloody...oh...MEEEEEEEEEG (the dog!), get off the cheese - Schei├če!!  (see, there's that German cussing!) We'll have to start that again - MB1 - can you put the cheese in the bi....oh heck, water, boiling over. Crap!!

LMB: Ooooh are you cooking? Can I help? Do you need this flour yet? Oh, flour! Everywhere!....

So, you can probably gather I think it'll be far easier to organise this part of their education under the auspices of an expert and in. someone. elses. kitchen!!!!

So, in an hour they are all heading off to learn to serve me coffee in bed with toast each morning.

Although LMB's comment this morning was:

"Look mummy, I can be a raisin"

Looks like the cooking camp has its work cut out mwahahahahahaha!!!


Metropolitan Mum said...

Cooking school? Do they take husbands, too? And do they do refresh classes in 'how to empty a tumble dryer'?

The Beehive said...

Well my hubby is down for the the "put your clothes in the bloody washing box rather than dropping them so close to it that I want to cry" classes! But I'll keep you posted!

Mike said...

My mom always told me when I was younger that it was ok to make mistakes when cooking. When I did mistakes she would yell at me. I guess it isn't ok to make mistakes after all. I tend to cook when she is not there as it's just easier on me.