Monday, July 19, 2010

Raw and naked

Inspired by Shakti mama and my feelings of displacement and inbalance these last couple of weeks, I thought I'd also post a picture of me as I am.

This is who I am.

No make up, no hair brush - nothing to hide the person that's inside.

So who am I?

Of course, I'm the labels - I'm the mama, the wife, the sister, the daughter, the friend, the doula, the teacher, the student....

but what is the me that ticks?

I'm a dreamer, I'm argumentative, I'm loving, I'm fiercely loyal, I'm a peace maker, I'm lonely, I'm happy most of the time, I'm sad deep in my core, I like to write, I LOVE to dance but am dreadfully shy and self conscious so I don't dance enough, I doubt myself -- a lot-- but don't want it to rub off on my children, I'm sometimes sarcastic and hurtful - although I don't mean to be and I'm always fighting with myself to be a better and kinder person. I love life with a passion that's so fierce that I sometimes hate life for rushing past me too fast.

I like to drink coffee and alcohol, I still worry about what my parents will say or think, I adore my little sister and wish she lived closer. I cry at stupid things and don't cry at the obvious, I love my feet but hate my arse and tummy. I hate living in Edinburgh and wish I could have stayed in America for-EVER. I love the sun, but grey skies make me sad. I'd love to own a VW Beetle or Citroen 2CV but instead own a people/dog/crap carrier.

So, happy Monday morning - to the REAL you! xx


Juliana @ Shakti Mama said...

Oh, wonderful, this is so wonderful and raw and heartfelt! I love the sepia-tinted photograph of you and the honest eyes and the fun haircut! The sun streaming in from the back window is lovely too and lights up your hair.

I'm thinking of writing up a list of things like this too, of who I think I am (both the good and the bad!).

Okay, weird thing, but I am wondering what the coffee cup says too :).

Thank you so much for stopping by, and I look forward to your future self-portraits. I also look forward to perusing your blog. I love that you're studying to become a midwife. I had my little one eleven months ago at home and my midwife was wonderful ... so much strength.

The Beehive said...

@ Juliana; thank you so much for your kind comments and lol at the coffee mug! It says:
"Life would be so much better if only my mother would stop knitting" and there's this poor little guy wearing an awful knitted poncho - it reminds me of my own mother when I use it, although, really it's actually a reflection of me and what I subject my kids to ;-)

Don't be a stranger x