Monday, September 13, 2010

Death of a Pig

Eugh! Today has not been a good one.

I woke up this morning to find that one of the guinea pigs we bought a couple of weeks back had died in the night. Stiff and cold and lying in the "bedroom" in the hutch.

I was mortified. I've never "killed" a pet before - well, I supposeone of  the goldfish died, but nothing fluffy at least!

I guess I should have taken her to the vet last night, but Sunday night at 9pm was when she started showing any signs of being lethargic and having the runs so I wrapped her in a towel and fed her water with a pipette last night in an attempt to hopefully help pass through what it might be.

Sadly guineas, I've since learned from my vet, don't have much reserve and often don't actually show illness until it's pretty much too late, so had we taken her to the out of hours emergency vet, we still may have not had a well guinea pig this morning.
She thinks that she had something before we bought her, which reduces my charge hopefully!

Master Beehive the elder seems to have taken this the hardest. He seemed to have bonded particularly with this guinea, nicknaming her Roxy-moron and spending lots of time cuddling her.

So, in my ignorance I decided to ask about fees for having her cremated and getting the ashes back so that we could take them to our new home and bury them in the garden under a tree - so the kids got a kind of "ceremony".

Holy Pig!

For the full cremation on her own, presumably lying on a bed of pure silk with gold trim, returning of the ashes in a beautiful urn, made of platinum I expect, with her name engraved on the cask - they wanted 50 quid! Fifty bleeding smackeroos!!!!!!!
It'd cost me less to unblock the toilet if she got stuck in the u-bend!*

Now, I love my pets, but it'll be cold day in hell when I'll fork out five times the price I paid for the animal just for a pretty box, Little Miss Beehive could probably make a better job of the urn with her gel glitter pens and a shoebox!

This sentiment was shared by my friend who had recently been quoted 80 euros to neuter her boars, no, not the pair, just one boar! 160 Euros for the pair, that's 40 euros per bollock!
Her deduction was that if they fought, she'd separate them as it'd be cheaper to buy a new hutch than remove their exceedingly small pin head sized nuts - I think they actually have to bring in a vet from Lilliput to perform the procedure!!!

However, for the simple, commoners cremation with others and scattering of the ashes in the local pet cemetery, it's just 18! I seriously don't think Roxy is in any fit state to care whether she's sharing her slab with several others or if she's getting her own choice of readings and hymns, however, Mr Beehive would remain married to me for a lot longer if I went for this option, not to mention my bank manager*

So, having taken the remaining piggie, Hermione, to the vet to ensure she was fit and well and not carrying the same sickness, we have left Roxy and a credit card slip in the capable hands of our vet, we've learned a very harsh lesson about buying guineas from large pet stores and will be treading carefully when we purchase our playmate for Hermione, taking our vet's advice and going to the place she has suggested and getting a piggie that has been properly checked over from the off set.***

RIP Roxy.

* disclaimer  - I do not, have never and will never flush any animal down the loo, I even buried the bloody fish, but the thought did cross my mind I am ashamed to say- with the fish!!! - NOT the piggie!
**disclaimer, I do not engage in polygomy and am not also married to my bank manager, I just have an appalling ability to phrase a sentence correctly!
***I had done the "text book" check myself when I picked her up from the store.

No comments: