Saturday, September 04, 2010

May contain traces of the bleedin' obvious!

I don't know if any of you read  Simon Hoggart in the Guardian, but, Mr Beehive does - oh yes, he does! He particularly likes to read it, aloud, yes, you heard me ALOUD, when I am trying to study or review a personal statement for someone. He has a tendency to read it to himself, then giggle, then giggle some more, then say "you should read this!" or "have you read this today?" I'll then sigh, look up and say "what?" and he'll retort with "Oh, nothing, you're working!" *sigh* Yes, I was, but now I need to know what is so desperately funny!

However, today's gem reminded me of my trip to a certain coffee shop today (no, not the usual, but another, equally as common on the High Street:-))
Hoggart had a reader with a tin of sardines who was dutifully informed as he opened it that it "contained fish". I went to purchase a naughty little granola bar, only to be told that "it may contain traces of nuts"!!!!!!
Only may ?
Holy Crappola!
This little bar is costing me 1.45 in hard cash and it only may contain traces of nuts?
I am seriously concerned that the definition of "granola" is different in Scotland!

To other things. How many of you check into this blog when you're in need of a laugh - and an original t-shirt?
I have one!
No, not a t-shirt, but a "sleep-talkin'-boy"! I'm prepping him for a transatlantic take over bid!
Master Beehive the younger sleeps deeper than the Marina Trench and thus is prone to the odd spot of bedwetting. So, we lift him each night, in order to try to reduce the number of bedsheets we need to change in one session.
Normally Mr Beehive and I fight with each other as to whose turn it is to go and lift - yes, you heard me right, we want to get out of our bed at silly-o-clock to lift a dead weight child and watch him try to aim straight into a 6 inch diameter bowl whilst still with his eyes closed!!

Why? I hear you cry. Well that's a good question, but it's all to do with the conversation.

When I say the lad is flat out, I mean FLAT OUT.

It has taken all my energies in the past to stop him pissing up the side of his brother's bed or squatting over the lego box. He's taken to swiping at me on odd occasions like an annoying fly around his head, but all these minor inconveniences we can cope with to catch his mutterings.

Some of my favourites have been:

"The donkey smells weird!"

"The white people can't have the white cups" (I think this may have been in reference to the "Purple People Eaters living in the woods" story that he told my niece and subsequently scared her witless and frightened her from coming to visit us when we lived in the US.)

and my most favourite to date:
"Why aren't I ladle-ing soup?"

He always has been one for a tall tale, in fact, I think he has a school friend who is desperate for a playdate to our house, so he can see where MB the younger "keeps his glass eye"!!!!!!!! but I just love the fact that he comes out with this, his eyes are open, he appears to be compos mentis, but then within the second of his head hitting the pillow he's gone again and he never remembers it the next day, so I've taken to keeping a notebook by my bed to write it down.

Today has been glorious! We have been benefactors of the indian summer we were all so hoping for.
The children have done all their numerous clubs and sports today, including a the first football match of the season for the sleep talker!

I, later went to check out a new hairdressers.
I've been hearing tales about "Snip and Sip" for a long time, but have never actually checked it out. It's a unique experience attached to a hippy hangout that perhaps attracts the younger clientele, hence the fact I 've probably been too chicken to walk inside to really check it out (yeah, not the hippy ishoo, but the "young" ishoo!)
Anyway, I'm bloody glad I did pluck up the courage!
Magda is great!
It's quirky, yes, it's not your typical hairsalon, no, but she's fab and she really "gets hair!"
It can only cater for one or two clients at a time so the attention is all yours. She also cuts dry, then washes, which totally goes against the grain, but if you can get past that, you'll appreciate she really understands your hair and can work with it, rather than cutting it wet when it's doing something it doesn't normally do (still with me?)
The best bit is...the shampoo! Ooooo eeeee oooooh! They make their own, using bases and essential oils and ye gads, it smells divine!!! Oh and they offer a shot of voddy with each cut - but I actually took a herbal tea instead, 2.45pm just doesn't cut it for me (no pun intended!!)

So, I got MB the elder to take a couple of snaps whilst I was practising hoopin' this afternoon and I'll let you decide!

We rounded the day off with a barbecue!

Lovely jubbley!

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