For sale or trade:
Three in one model, converts from lying flat to jumping to running around in circles crazily all with a simple press of the button (preferably your own!). Can go fast, faster, incredibly fast and manic. Will do stop at own convenience rather than owner's. Pleasing to the eye, but incredibly loud as this particular version malfunctioned with the volume control, volume only goes down as low as 95 decibels, however, batteries can be pulled at around 7pm most nights for around 10 hours of silence with only the odd buzz at intermittent intervals. Very easy to uphold, just feed chocolate to rev the sparks up again. Has a slight whine, but this could be tinnitus affecting the current owner. Occasionally leaks particularly after a long bout of playing the same record, over and over and over and over and over and not actually succeeding in getting to the place it wants to be. Not too hard to manoevere, although has been known to go into overdrive when hungry, thirsty or in need of shutdown........I think the manufacturer's terminology is "meltdown". Slight default in the mechanical arm which occasionally will swing out and hit other parts of the model causing a large screeching noise sounding a little like a strangled cat, which may cause alarm at first. This is nothing to worry about, unless you see red stuff leaking from any part of the model, in which case, there is nothing to be done other than take it apart for an hour or two whilst the damaged section is being repaired with band aids. Can be taken apart for removal to other homes with similar versions of the model and will frequently demand the desire to have these same versions attach to their output causing the volume and giddyness to increase further still. Usually responds well to being spoken to and reasoned with, but occasionally may need a sharp word primarily due to the volume control being defunct! Will occasionally smell, make strange wind associated noises or laugh hysterically at the word "pooh hole". Tends to eat a rather large hole in your pocket, so not that economical, but pretty environmentally friendly as all parts and dressings for parts are washable, recycled and re-useable. Grubby condition and much loved........
Items in search of:
A doll or the bastard that told me having kids was a walk in the feckin' park (lol!)
A large bar of chocolate
A portion of fish and chips from the UK with vinegar - don't forget the vinegar
A flat stomach
Shares in someone's wine cellar
A frontal lobotomy!
Only 9 more weeks 'til school yahay!!!!!!