Damn that wretched little rodent!!!
Like he couldn't have stayed asleep a little longer!
For those of you who don't have the first clue what I am whittling about then I will put you in the light:
Punxsutawney Phil is a groundhog, also known as a woodchuck or whistle pig, basically he is a furry rodent about the size of a small otter/cat who hibernates in the winter. On Feb 2nd, (Groundhog day - yes, like the film!) if he is spotted coming out of hibernation and can see his shadow then there will be six more weeks of winter, if he can't, then spring is coming. Apparently no-one told this chap that if he stands under a tree, then the sun won't get to him.....tada, no shadow, so THANK YOU PHIL!! We today, have a snow day! Okay, so it isn't so much snow as another sneeze, but more is forecast for later, so I suppose shutting the school was inevitable!
Yes, valentine's day, the day of Luuuurrrve, I am luvin' it large at home with Les Enfants, who are currently making "red-food" shopping lists as I hastily agreed, after #1 son made me pancakes and strawberries (with Daddy's help) for breakfast, to making them a "red lunch" which is what they were going to be doing at school today. It was a moment of madness!!!!!!!!
So to end this little ramble, I want to dedicate this poem* to the rodent who is leading me to the bottle of chilling vino this evening (luckily I went to yoga last night so I won't feel so bad about a glass of wine!!)
*Disclaimer - I am NOT a poet and this following pile of crap may significantly improve AFTER the aforementioned wine later!!! But for now, read at your peril!
Dear Punxsutawney Phil,
I write with a request,
If you aren't sure what the winter holds
Stay quiet in your nest!
Don't be such a bloke
who can't say "I don't know"
but has to give an answer
that lands an inch of snow.
I'm freezing off me bits,
Sitting in the house
The heating is up full
And I cannot feel me t**s
My toes have turned to ice
My hands a shade of blue
The kids are running wild off school
I don't know what to do
The cleaner's stuck in a drift
The coffee shop is shut
I'm sick to death of Nemo
I can't even walk the mutt!
Playdo is stuck to the walls
Paint is on the floor
Toys are strewn upstairs and down
My head is feeling sore
Accept you ain't a clue,
Fame's not what it seems
An honest pig we'd rather have
Than one that makes us scream!
So Phil I say to you
On the next Groundhog day
If you don't know the truth, say nothing at all
Or Xtermahog might come your way!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Planes, Frains and a whole load of green stuff!!
Some of my biggest chuckles come from conversations we have in the car: Here is another one!
So, the background to this is that whilst T was at his piano lesson this evening, W, I. and I went to the organic shop to get our vitamin supplies and some raw cane sugar. The kids had had a drink and a snack beforehand, but the shop sells rather nice smoothies, unfortunately the guy had stopped making them for the day, so I chose a drink from the fridge, tropical fruit flavoured, full of energy, greens, vitamins - a real power boost.
On opening this drink, much to my disappointment it was, to coin an phrase my kids love,"yukky"!!!
W: Let me try!
Me: You won't like it.
W: Please?
Me: Okay then.........(handing him the drink)
W takes the drink and determined to prove me wrong, takes a huge swig - fatal mistake. This stuff is like a cross between Borox and stale straw!!!!!! Fortunately he was in such shock from his error that he swallowed the stuff rather than reflexing it back over the car, which is a relief as I don't think we have any paintstripper in the house!!!!!
I: Me try, me try
Me: Okay then, W. hand it to I please.
I pulls the most ridiculous face, but then comes back for more. Yes this one is a little crazy, she turned down a green jelly the other day (thank goodness) in favour of fruit.
When we pick T up he decides he wants in on this game too, so he also attempts to drink it.....to the same effect!!
T: So what's in it?
Me: Here's the label, tell us!!
T: green alfalfa shoots, broccoli spears, kale, spinach, irish moss.........IRISH MOSS??? wheat grass, barley grass juice, beetroot greens......... (etc etc - you get the idea)
W: What's Irish Moss?
T: you know, that stuff that grows outside on the ground
Me: Yup, like cabbage and spinach and grass.........(being facetious obviously!)
T: No, don't be silly, it grows by the water so it is disgusting.
Me: Well Cranberries grow IN water, they grow in bogs, we will see some when we go up to the Cape this summer.
W: How old will I be then mama? Will I be 7?
Me: No, you'll be four
W: Six then?
Me: No, four!
W: Ohhhhhhhhh (said with real disappointment!) I can't eat any then and I really wanted to try some.
Me: Why can't you eat them?
W: I am on a diet.
Me: You are? What diet is that then W?
W: I am not allowed to eat fruit or vegetables until I am seven!
Nuff said methinks!
_____________________________________________________
In the bath:
We have recently bought some new bath toys. These include a foam road set that sticks to the tiles. In this set are a load of vehicles. I. is now pretty coherent most of the time, she has long sentences, I am pretty lucky (so far, knock on wood !!) that her tantrums are fairly minimal as I think the fact she is able to express herself may have a lot to do with it.
We have in the aforementioned set a:
car
airplane
mo-bike
frain
boat
van
and a
F**k!!!
We are working so hard with her on this slight mispronunciation. There are many words that have come out of the mouths of our three that we have let go because, let's be honest, it's cute!!!!!
But:
"Can me have the big f**k ?" is not!!!!!
Yours phonetically
The Beehive
So, the background to this is that whilst T was at his piano lesson this evening, W, I. and I went to the organic shop to get our vitamin supplies and some raw cane sugar. The kids had had a drink and a snack beforehand, but the shop sells rather nice smoothies, unfortunately the guy had stopped making them for the day, so I chose a drink from the fridge, tropical fruit flavoured, full of energy, greens, vitamins - a real power boost.
On opening this drink, much to my disappointment it was, to coin an phrase my kids love,"yukky"!!!
W: Let me try!
Me: You won't like it.
W: Please?
Me: Okay then.........(handing him the drink)
W takes the drink and determined to prove me wrong, takes a huge swig - fatal mistake. This stuff is like a cross between Borox and stale straw!!!!!! Fortunately he was in such shock from his error that he swallowed the stuff rather than reflexing it back over the car, which is a relief as I don't think we have any paintstripper in the house!!!!!
I: Me try, me try
Me: Okay then, W. hand it to I please.
I pulls the most ridiculous face, but then comes back for more. Yes this one is a little crazy, she turned down a green jelly the other day (thank goodness) in favour of fruit.
When we pick T up he decides he wants in on this game too, so he also attempts to drink it.....to the same effect!!
T: So what's in it?
Me: Here's the label, tell us!!
T: green alfalfa shoots, broccoli spears, kale, spinach, irish moss.........IRISH MOSS??? wheat grass, barley grass juice, beetroot greens......... (etc etc - you get the idea)
W: What's Irish Moss?
T: you know, that stuff that grows outside on the ground
Me: Yup, like cabbage and spinach and grass.........(being facetious obviously!)
T: No, don't be silly, it grows by the water so it is disgusting.
Me: Well Cranberries grow IN water, they grow in bogs, we will see some when we go up to the Cape this summer.
W: How old will I be then mama? Will I be 7?
Me: No, you'll be four
W: Six then?
Me: No, four!
W: Ohhhhhhhhh (said with real disappointment!) I can't eat any then and I really wanted to try some.
Me: Why can't you eat them?
W: I am on a diet.
Me: You are? What diet is that then W?
W: I am not allowed to eat fruit or vegetables until I am seven!
Nuff said methinks!
_____________________________________________________
In the bath:
We have recently bought some new bath toys. These include a foam road set that sticks to the tiles. In this set are a load of vehicles. I. is now pretty coherent most of the time, she has long sentences, I am pretty lucky (so far, knock on wood !!) that her tantrums are fairly minimal as I think the fact she is able to express herself may have a lot to do with it.
We have in the aforementioned set a:
car
airplane
mo-bike
frain
boat
van
and a
F**k!!!
We are working so hard with her on this slight mispronunciation. There are many words that have come out of the mouths of our three that we have let go because, let's be honest, it's cute!!!!!
But:
"Can me have the big f**k ?" is not!!!!!
Yours phonetically
The Beehive
Monday, February 12, 2007
Behind the wheel
Conversation between les enfants on the way home from school today:
* disclaimer - NONE of my children have seen Star Wars, Sleepy Hollow OR Scooby Doo!!!
T: Do you remember Star Wars W?
W: Yeah!
T: I like the bit in Star Wars where the spaceship lands on Daft Vader's head
W: Oh Yeah, and how his face turns into Luke Skywalker - that is sooooo cool.
T: Have you seen Sleepy Hollow?
W: What one is that? Is that Scooby Doo?
I: Skoooooby Doooo, Skooby Doo............ (sung to the tune of Jingle Bells!)
T: No, it is the scary one.
W: Oh Yeah! I've seen that. (To me) Mum, do we have Sleepy Hollow?
Me: Yes we do, but you haven't seen it.
W: Oh yeah, that's right. Can I watch it?
Me: Uh, No!
T: It is far too scary for you (this is my son who is scared of Monsters Inc, Toy Story, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty..........the list is endless - he even hides at the start of Finding Nemo!)
W: We could watch Muzzy?
I: Muzzy, Muzzy, Muzzy, Muzzy....................
this continues until we get home..........you get the idea!
* disclaimer - NONE of my children have seen Star Wars, Sleepy Hollow OR Scooby Doo!!!
T: Do you remember Star Wars W?
W: Yeah!
T: I like the bit in Star Wars where the spaceship lands on Daft Vader's head
W: Oh Yeah, and how his face turns into Luke Skywalker - that is sooooo cool.
T: Have you seen Sleepy Hollow?
W: What one is that? Is that Scooby Doo?
I: Skoooooby Doooo, Skooby Doo............ (sung to the tune of Jingle Bells!)
T: No, it is the scary one.
W: Oh Yeah! I've seen that. (To me) Mum, do we have Sleepy Hollow?
Me: Yes we do, but you haven't seen it.
W: Oh yeah, that's right. Can I watch it?
Me: Uh, No!
T: It is far too scary for you (this is my son who is scared of Monsters Inc, Toy Story, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty..........the list is endless - he even hides at the start of Finding Nemo!)
W: We could watch Muzzy?
I: Muzzy, Muzzy, Muzzy, Muzzy....................
this continues until we get home..........you get the idea!
Welcome to Walnut Grove!
CLICK HERE!!!!!It is done!!!!!!!!!!!
Finally, after two years, several hours of cussing, lots of pulling out and starting again.........a real labour of love.........it is finished.
Fortunately he didn't outgrow it before I finished it, which was my main concern, and despite the fact it looks somewhat primitive and beginnger-like and my obliging little guy put it on this morning and said,
"You have a jumper like this *(pause)* Is this for GEEERRRRRLS?" in his american drawl, he has happily continued wearing it.
Thank god for that! I had set myself up for him losing interest in it before it was done and refusing to like it or........worse still..........wear it! I was going to be all calm and nonchalant about it, after all, he is only 4. But lucky for me, he is pretty easy going! Thanks kiddo!
The next project is for T. He is less obliging and more direct about what he likes and doesn't like.I have chosen a relatively simple pattern which was being sported by a pretty cool guy in the book holding a skateboard and the jumper has a name "Woody". So far he is happy about this, albeit it doesn't actually COME with the skateboard, which was a bit of a let down. I have enough wool to do the age 6 - 7 years..........so I really DO have to work fast this time!
Why am I doing this? I have no idea. TBH, it is cheaper to buy a ready made jumper than the yarn to make one.......but there is this sense of pride and achievement in thinking that you have made what is on their backs.
Speaking of making stuff and domestic bliss, yesterday we made bread. No, not with a bread maker......the real Macoy, I don't have a bread maker. I remember the Saturdays when my mum used to make a loaf or two and leave them to rise in our airing cupboard. I personally can't see the point in a bread maker, you lose the team spirit that is involved in making bread. Throwing in the ingredients and leaving the thing to stir, knead and cook without me around is more effort than buying an organic loaf and certainly a helluva lot less fun!! Both I. and W. helped me and I have to say, it turned out the best loaf I have made in a long time, probably due to W.'s Tae Kwon Do moves he did on the dough!
Bread and Beer, two of the finest uses for yeast ever discovered! Even starchy Caroline Ingalls must agree with that!! Oh and by the way, for those die-hards out there........it so happens that Laura Ingalls was closer to a hobbit than she was a twee young lass in the nice wooden house with it's sloping roof........they didn't live there! Apparently they lived in a sod (a cave pretty much) somewhat like Bilbo Baggins!!!!!!
So, I have taken off my pinny, removed my bonnet, put the buggy away in the barn, sat down to fresh bread and dripping with the prairie train bells in the distance......... for now........
and if you made it this far with the music...........bet that made you feel all warm and cuddly!!!
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou........whaddidyousayhisnamewasagain?
My middle son is a charmer - or so it appears!.
Frequently when I go to pick him up from school I hear little cries of "Hi W." from small adoring fans. He, on the other hand, offers a suitably caveman grunt, to which they giggle, flutter their eyes and try to get him to talk to them!! I have been stopped by mothers on occasions telling me how their daughter talks a lot about W. and how much she likes him etc...
I have even been approached by a mom at the school asking if she could use him as a model for some photography as she is a children's photographer........apparently he caught her eye at the Primary mom's morning at school a couple of weeks ago, where he swanned into the class with me in tow wearing his purple shirt, tie, red jeans (yes, I know, he likes to chose his own clothes!!) and mop of "just got out of bed" hair, which on that morning was looking particularly wild and rampant (OMG?!)
Now for those of you that don't know him, this appears to be a blog entry by a bragging mother, but for those of you that DO know him, will know that this is just so W. He always looks like he has been dragged through a hedge backwards, clothes on back to front and mismatching, hair all over the shop, but he has huge mischevious eyes and tricks and temperament to match and he really would let this admiration roll over him. A true "free spirit".
Anyhow, this morning, after he went off to school once again, this time for Primary Dad's morning, his fan club started up ( I am contemplating putting in a request for a salary as his Personal secretary!)
Firstly he is called on the phone from LONDON by his best friend (these two are joined at the hip I kid you not!) who had been in Norway for the last couple of days and wanted to say hi!! Then, when the mail arrives, there is a package for my four year old Lothario much to the disgust of his older brother! Inside it contains a painted stone in the shape of a heart and a candle from Ayleen with her (obviously, burning, ha ha) love!
So as is in the Beehive, we playfully tease him about his girlfriend, asking him about her as she is in his class at school. He joins in the laughing, taking it all in the spirit it is intended, this continues for a few minutes, us ribbing, him egging us on, when suddenly he stops laughing and becomes deadly serious......................
"Who on earth IS she?" he asks.
Friday, February 09, 2007
So it goes like this.........
This morning I am trying to write a magazine article on Montessori education and attachment parenting it goes something like this:
9.00 type
9.10 doorbell goes - landlady arrives to measure for a new washing machine
9.45 type
9.46
T. "Is it snack time yet?
M "15 minutes okay, I just have to get the first paragraph done.
T "Ok!"
9.47
type
9.48
T "Do you have some paper?"
M "Yes, what colour do you want and can you then just get on for 15 minutes as I need to think about this?"
9.50
type
9.51
Dog starts barking outside, I continue trying but lose my train of thought. Go down to let in the dog.
Run back up to office.
9.55
type,
9.59
T comes in again
"You said 15 minutes."
"Okay, I am coming"
Go down for snack and coffee after having written a total of about 30 words in 3/4 of an hour!
10.15
Return to type
10.16
T comes in again
"Where are my shorts?"
"What?"
"I want to practise my Tae Kwon Do and can't find my shorts" he is standing there in his boxers
*sigh* heavily
"Can't you wear your underpants?"
He runs off
10.17
type
10.18
T back in within 1 minute
Me "WHAT????????"
T "Do you have my scout book?"
"Which scout book, T I am trying to write and it is really hard when you keep interupting me because I forget what I am typing." (believe me, that isn't hard either!)
T "The white one and then I won't disturb you again."
"Ok" handing him the file
10.19
type,
10.19
30 seconds
T "These are all the jelly beans I want to get...." he starts rattling off from a list, every bloody jellybean on the bloody planet!!!!!!!
me "Aaaagggghhhhh - please, please, please go and do something I will be finished soon if you let me start. You can eat candy, smoke some drugs, set fire to something, use my credit card, buy a motorbike if you just frickin' GOOOOOOOOO and let me get on!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
(ooops this is the bit in the article where I am writing about being emotionally responsive !) okay so I didn't actually SAY the last sentence, just thought it!!!
T comes back in after 10 seconds.
"I think I am ready to go back to school now."
"OMG! Yes, you probably are, but you can't this week as you need to be totally right. Have you not got anything you can do right now? How about a book?"
He wanders off..........
10.20
I slam my head on the wall and close my work down for the day........time for another coffee I think!
Time elapsed 1 hour 20 mins,
Total words written: about 100
9.00 type
9.10 doorbell goes - landlady arrives to measure for a new washing machine
9.45 type
9.46
T. "Is it snack time yet?
M "15 minutes okay, I just have to get the first paragraph done.
T "Ok!"
9.47
type
9.48
T "Do you have some paper?"
M "Yes, what colour do you want and can you then just get on for 15 minutes as I need to think about this?"
9.50
type
9.51
Dog starts barking outside, I continue trying but lose my train of thought. Go down to let in the dog.
Run back up to office.
9.55
type,
9.59
T comes in again
"You said 15 minutes."
"Okay, I am coming"
Go down for snack and coffee after having written a total of about 30 words in 3/4 of an hour!
10.15
Return to type
10.16
T comes in again
"Where are my shorts?"
"What?"
"I want to practise my Tae Kwon Do and can't find my shorts" he is standing there in his boxers
*sigh* heavily
"Can't you wear your underpants?"
He runs off
10.17
type
10.18
T back in within 1 minute
Me "WHAT????????"
T "Do you have my scout book?"
"Which scout book, T I am trying to write and it is really hard when you keep interupting me because I forget what I am typing." (believe me, that isn't hard either!)
T "The white one and then I won't disturb you again."
"Ok" handing him the file
10.19
type,
10.19
30 seconds
T "These are all the jelly beans I want to get...." he starts rattling off from a list, every bloody jellybean on the bloody planet!!!!!!!
me "Aaaagggghhhhh - please, please, please go and do something I will be finished soon if you let me start. You can eat candy, smoke some drugs, set fire to something, use my credit card, buy a motorbike if you just frickin' GOOOOOOOOO and let me get on!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
(ooops this is the bit in the article where I am writing about being emotionally responsive !) okay so I didn't actually SAY the last sentence, just thought it!!!
T comes back in after 10 seconds.
"I think I am ready to go back to school now."
"OMG! Yes, you probably are, but you can't this week as you need to be totally right. Have you not got anything you can do right now? How about a book?"
He wanders off..........
10.20
I slam my head on the wall and close my work down for the day........time for another coffee I think!
Time elapsed 1 hour 20 mins,
Total words written: about 100
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Bad Mom's Club - anyone welcome!!
Today I feel a little sheepish. Partly due to lack of sleep, which in turn has meant that my "mummy" intuition has not been properly switched on today.
Yesterday I was at an induction which started at 6am and I crawled into bed this morning at 3.30am (okay, so that is a whole different story which I expect I will let you into later on !). During the birth yesterday, I was called by the assistant in T's class to say he was complaining of earache and could I come and get him? Her actual words were "he is whining a lot"!! (okay, so that riled me for a start, he has earache, he is six.........I am closer to 36, I think I would whine!, but you know, complain might have been a less derogatory word, maybe it was lost in translation!?) ANYWAY, digression aside, I had to ask her to phone R as I was mid birth and couldn't get away. It turned out, she didn't ring him, but I did.........they had given him some pain killer (with my acknowledgement and approval) and he was "fine" when R. picked him up half an hour later.
He continued to be fine for the rest of the evening.......so this morning after I have had less than 2.5 hours sleep, he is complaining of being weak, having a headache, being sore on his shoulder (no earache though!) I wasn't up for this........I know, slate me now!
Problem is.; last week on the same day, he pulled the same trick from the bag. I went rushing up to pick him up from school, feeling highly sorry for him, to take himn home to him then running around the house telling me he was fine.........you know the story of the boy who cried wolf right?
So I officially join the bad momma's club today. He ISN'T right today and YES I have kept him off school, he is actually asleep as I type, but even if he didn't have earache this morning, he probably has it now from my "whining" at him.......and now, the phone has just rung and W is running a low grade fever....so I am off to get him and I. !!!
10.49am
All are in bed!
______________________
So while things are quiet for a while, I have one other vent to get of my chest; WHAT IS IT WITH ANESTHETISTS???????????? Okay, I will slightly change that - what is it with Labour and Delivery Anesthetists? Why is it that out of the several I have met, all bar maybe one has fitted into one or more of the following categories?
1. Downright rude!
2. Thinks they are the Saviour
3. Has no regard for informing patients of both benefits and risks of epidural
4. Watches far too much TV, in particular adverts for prescription drugs, and has taken lessons from the same school of "read the small print at top speed in a condescending voice without pausing for breath or changing intonation so that no one has a hope in hell of hearing or understanding what you are talking about" when talking to clients.
5. Isn't sure if they are man or dog and therefore has to bark at everyone in the room.
6. Went to the same customer service school as the Post Office staff!
????????????????????????????????????????????
Last night's delight came in the form of Fred Flintstone himself. So not only could no-one hear what he was saying when he was reading the risks and side effects paperwork, he was reading
it so fast and mumbling into his beard, no-one would have understood him anyway due to the occasional "uhhhhh WILMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAA". My client had done so well, but at last exam was 5cm and decided (she had been at 5 for some 6 hours!!) that she needed
an epidural after her water was broken. The contractions were coming much faster, stronger and longer during this time, of course, usual story, no-one checked her before the epidural was put in, so ..Oh deja vu.... when the epidural was being put in she suddenly felt the urge to push.........I wasn't in the room by this time due to Fred's order of "YOU! Wait outside!" - Okay, woof!! Guess what folks, epi is in........10cms!!
I dunno. I am seriously losing heart with it all. We had a wonderful team for the majority of the labour...........but it is all down to the team. I think the place you birth at, here in particular, is of less consequence than the team you have. We had a great team, letting mom walk around the corridors, intermittently monitoring......following her lead and needs. This had the approval and encouragement of the nurses and her OB. Later when the shift changed we were landed with a nurse who obviously disapproved of this practice...........we were told it "wasn't protocol," "the OB didn't know the protocol here", "if we walk, god forbid something might happen in the corridor......." OMG like she might have a baby????????????? And icing on the cake.....the severely underweight, potentially compromised baby who was induced 3 weeks early because they felt she wasnt' big enough............was a healthy 5lb9oz at 37 weeks!!! So hell, she wasn't going to be 10lbs at term, but I would say that a potential 7lb baby is enough for most!
I would LOVE to write about a birth that totally inspires and encourages me, I would also LOVE to not get so personally involved in it...............is that what is the driving force behind a doula? To feel that you can make some kind of difference (although DO we with our hands tied behind our backs?) or that we feel emotionally with these new parents to strive to achieve a great experience for them in such a medical situation??????? I was thinking about this last night whilst standing like a naughty school girl in the corridor. The only thing I could think of that kept popping into my mind to keep me fired up was a famous quote by Gandi I think "Be the change that you want to see in the world". So okay, maybe it isn't going to happen this time, with this family or this birth, but maybe..........it will happen next time, with her friend, or her second baby or..........maybe the change will be my own children who live these births with me and ask questions and learn?????
___________________________________
Now to round off an exceptionally long ramble today..........more of a hike than a ramble........
..we have our good friends coming over to stay with us again in March this year. We have decided that we are all going to go up to Niagara together..........woohoo road trip!! I am so excited. It is funny, we actually have our trip to Arizona BEFORE then, but I am all psyched about this trip!! I don't know what it is about road trips that are so much fun?? I think it
stems back to my childhood when our parents would drive to France. We would pack the
car the night before and then get a really really early crossing, so we would have to get up at
say 2am in the morning, which to my sister and I, was such an adventure. This has the same thrill.........all holed up in a car, on the road, taking time to relax and chat..........
BAMMMMMMMMMM
Sorry, that was me being hit by reality!!
Three smalls holed up for a 6 hour trip.......... ?????????????
We have finally relented and looked into getting a DVD player for the car. There are only so many road I-spy and numberplate games you can play with a 6, 4 and 2 year old, only so much crowd control or negotiation I can do from the front seat with at twisted neck. Borders has no more dot to dot books left and I simply cannot let I. have a free reign in close proximity to a marker or pencil in the car for longer than 30seconds and I run out of songs after 2 hours, oh and I think maintaining my sanity might have to fit in there somewhere too!!! So see, a downward spiral, I start on the road to bad mommadom..........and finish with buying a square nanny!!
So this is dedicated to all of you bad mommas out there who have not yet had coffee this morning, have been woken more than once in the night by small offspring wanting you to fight dragons under the bed, have turned the TV on for half an hour because you have run out of "earth-mothery" ideas for the day and it isn't even noon, have fed them last night's take away for breakfast because you have forgotten to get *milk,*bread*cereal*food of any sort at all,
have said "Not Now Bernard!" or "In a minute" more than once today and then forgotten totally about it until small said child has (delete as appropriate)
*wet pants,*been late for school or other event, *has taken to telling the dog all about their story/adventure/plans to eliminate mummy if she doesn't take notice, *cut their hair,*painted the walls with permanent marker *add your own!!
Mamas, today - I salute you with tomato ketchup stained fingers!!
Note to self - Tomorrow is another day and I will be better tomorrow (after a PROPER night of sleep!)
Yesterday I was at an induction which started at 6am and I crawled into bed this morning at 3.30am (okay, so that is a whole different story which I expect I will let you into later on !). During the birth yesterday, I was called by the assistant in T's class to say he was complaining of earache and could I come and get him? Her actual words were "he is whining a lot"!! (okay, so that riled me for a start, he has earache, he is six.........I am closer to 36, I think I would whine!, but you know, complain might have been a less derogatory word, maybe it was lost in translation!?) ANYWAY, digression aside, I had to ask her to phone R as I was mid birth and couldn't get away. It turned out, she didn't ring him, but I did.........they had given him some pain killer (with my acknowledgement and approval) and he was "fine" when R. picked him up half an hour later.
He continued to be fine for the rest of the evening.......so this morning after I have had less than 2.5 hours sleep, he is complaining of being weak, having a headache, being sore on his shoulder (no earache though!) I wasn't up for this........I know, slate me now!
Problem is.; last week on the same day, he pulled the same trick from the bag. I went rushing up to pick him up from school, feeling highly sorry for him, to take himn home to him then running around the house telling me he was fine.........you know the story of the boy who cried wolf right?
So I officially join the bad momma's club today. He ISN'T right today and YES I have kept him off school, he is actually asleep as I type, but even if he didn't have earache this morning, he probably has it now from my "whining" at him.......and now, the phone has just rung and W is running a low grade fever....so I am off to get him and I. !!!
10.49am
All are in bed!
______________________
So while things are quiet for a while, I have one other vent to get of my chest; WHAT IS IT WITH ANESTHETISTS???????????? Okay, I will slightly change that - what is it with Labour and Delivery Anesthetists? Why is it that out of the several I have met, all bar maybe one has fitted into one or more of the following categories?
1. Downright rude!
2. Thinks they are the Saviour
3. Has no regard for informing patients of both benefits and risks of epidural
4. Watches far too much TV, in particular adverts for prescription drugs, and has taken lessons from the same school of "read the small print at top speed in a condescending voice without pausing for breath or changing intonation so that no one has a hope in hell of hearing or understanding what you are talking about" when talking to clients.
5. Isn't sure if they are man or dog and therefore has to bark at everyone in the room.
6. Went to the same customer service school as the Post Office staff!
????????????????????????????????????????????
Last night's delight came in the form of Fred Flintstone himself. So not only could no-one hear what he was saying when he was reading the risks and side effects paperwork, he was reading
it so fast and mumbling into his beard, no-one would have understood him anyway due to the occasional "uhhhhh WILMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAA". My client had done so well, but at last exam was 5cm and decided (she had been at 5 for some 6 hours!!) that she needed
an epidural after her water was broken. The contractions were coming much faster, stronger and longer during this time, of course, usual story, no-one checked her before the epidural was put in, so ..Oh deja vu.... when the epidural was being put in she suddenly felt the urge to push.........I wasn't in the room by this time due to Fred's order of "YOU! Wait outside!" - Okay, woof!! Guess what folks, epi is in........10cms!!
I dunno. I am seriously losing heart with it all. We had a wonderful team for the majority of the labour...........but it is all down to the team. I think the place you birth at, here in particular, is of less consequence than the team you have. We had a great team, letting mom walk around the corridors, intermittently monitoring......following her lead and needs. This had the approval and encouragement of the nurses and her OB. Later when the shift changed we were landed with a nurse who obviously disapproved of this practice...........we were told it "wasn't protocol," "the OB didn't know the protocol here", "if we walk, god forbid something might happen in the corridor......." OMG like she might have a baby????????????? And icing on the cake.....the severely underweight, potentially compromised baby who was induced 3 weeks early because they felt she wasnt' big enough............was a healthy 5lb9oz at 37 weeks!!! So hell, she wasn't going to be 10lbs at term, but I would say that a potential 7lb baby is enough for most!
I would LOVE to write about a birth that totally inspires and encourages me, I would also LOVE to not get so personally involved in it...............is that what is the driving force behind a doula? To feel that you can make some kind of difference (although DO we with our hands tied behind our backs?) or that we feel emotionally with these new parents to strive to achieve a great experience for them in such a medical situation??????? I was thinking about this last night whilst standing like a naughty school girl in the corridor. The only thing I could think of that kept popping into my mind to keep me fired up was a famous quote by Gandi I think "Be the change that you want to see in the world". So okay, maybe it isn't going to happen this time, with this family or this birth, but maybe..........it will happen next time, with her friend, or her second baby or..........maybe the change will be my own children who live these births with me and ask questions and learn?????
___________________________________
Now to round off an exceptionally long ramble today..........more of a hike than a ramble........
..we have our good friends coming over to stay with us again in March this year. We have decided that we are all going to go up to Niagara together..........woohoo road trip!! I am so excited. It is funny, we actually have our trip to Arizona BEFORE then, but I am all psyched about this trip!! I don't know what it is about road trips that are so much fun?? I think it
stems back to my childhood when our parents would drive to France. We would pack the
car the night before and then get a really really early crossing, so we would have to get up at
say 2am in the morning, which to my sister and I, was such an adventure. This has the same thrill.........all holed up in a car, on the road, taking time to relax and chat..........
BAMMMMMMMMMM
Sorry, that was me being hit by reality!!
Three smalls holed up for a 6 hour trip.......... ?????????????
We have finally relented and looked into getting a DVD player for the car. There are only so many road I-spy and numberplate games you can play with a 6, 4 and 2 year old, only so much crowd control or negotiation I can do from the front seat with at twisted neck. Borders has no more dot to dot books left and I simply cannot let I. have a free reign in close proximity to a marker or pencil in the car for longer than 30seconds and I run out of songs after 2 hours, oh and I think maintaining my sanity might have to fit in there somewhere too!!! So see, a downward spiral, I start on the road to bad mommadom..........and finish with buying a square nanny!!
So this is dedicated to all of you bad mommas out there who have not yet had coffee this morning, have been woken more than once in the night by small offspring wanting you to fight dragons under the bed, have turned the TV on for half an hour because you have run out of "earth-mothery" ideas for the day and it isn't even noon, have fed them last night's take away for breakfast because you have forgotten to get *milk,*bread*cereal*food of any sort at all,
have said "Not Now Bernard!" or "In a minute" more than once today and then forgotten totally about it until small said child has (delete as appropriate)
*wet pants,*been late for school or other event, *has taken to telling the dog all about their story/adventure/plans to eliminate mummy if she doesn't take notice, *cut their hair,*painted the walls with permanent marker *add your own!!
Mamas, today - I salute you with tomato ketchup stained fingers!!
Note to self - Tomorrow is another day and I will be better tomorrow (after a PROPER night of sleep!)
Friday, February 02, 2007
Haircuts!
Let me be swift here........my elder son has been nagging me for a short time now to cut his hair as it gets into his ears when he swims, he now has the backing of his teacher who made the flippant comment the other day that he needed a hair cut!
My sons have gorgeous, floppy and wild white blond hair (or mops!) and it looks divine at the length it is, his friends and my friends all like it AND, this is the important bit, HE HATES GOING TO THE HAIRDRESSERS! He hates it like you wouldn't believe.
So......I said I would cut it for him on Wednesday afterschool. We sat down, he had had his snack and was all set.......I sprayed his hair with water
"are you done yet?" he asked
"no, that was just the water and now I am going comb it so I can see where to cut."
"are you done now?" -
"no, I haven't started"
- SNIP
"That's it, you did it, are you done? Yes you are, I can get down now?"...........so as you can see, I tried.
My sons have gorgeous, floppy and wild white blond hair (or mops!) and it looks divine at the length it is, his friends and my friends all like it AND, this is the important bit, HE HATES GOING TO THE HAIRDRESSERS! He hates it like you wouldn't believe.
So......I said I would cut it for him on Wednesday afterschool. We sat down, he had had his snack and was all set.......I sprayed his hair with water
"are you done yet?" he asked
"no, that was just the water and now I am going comb it so I can see where to cut."
"are you done now?" -
"no, I haven't started"
- SNIP
"That's it, you did it, are you done? Yes you are, I can get down now?"...........so as you can see, I tried.
Six weird things
Six weird things about me - bah! someone sent me one of these round robins the other day to fill in.........problem is, I know everyone who knows me probably knows more than six about me!
1. I have to leave a token on my plate however small, I cannot completely finish a plate of food!
2. I cannot eat anything past the sell by date, not a day, not a dot and I can't freeze rice ! - told you it was weird!
3. I sniff my kids trousers to check if they can wear them for two days on the trot - okay, cringing yet?
4. I have to let my tea go nearly cold before I drink it and the tea bag must still be in it - this is herbal tea mind you, but even so!
5. I always skim a book before I then sit back a read it properly (and I am a BIG end cheat!)
6. I have to drink water either directly from the bottle or in a glass with a straw - I can't drink it directly from the glass.......it reminds me too much of school dinners!
There you go
1. I have to leave a token on my plate however small, I cannot completely finish a plate of food!
2. I cannot eat anything past the sell by date, not a day, not a dot and I can't freeze rice ! - told you it was weird!
3. I sniff my kids trousers to check if they can wear them for two days on the trot - okay, cringing yet?
4. I have to let my tea go nearly cold before I drink it and the tea bag must still be in it - this is herbal tea mind you, but even so!
5. I always skim a book before I then sit back a read it properly (and I am a BIG end cheat!)
6. I have to drink water either directly from the bottle or in a glass with a straw - I can't drink it directly from the glass.......it reminds me too much of school dinners!
There you go
Ultimately Significant Pile of S**t!!
Okay, so what is it with customer service and post offices?
Our local PO is the epitomy of crapness. Frequently there are queues out of the door and one maybe two if we are lucky, desks open. The staff are sullen and rude and it is also badly stocked, so if you need a customs label, they are often out, so you have to approach the snapping crocodile and request one and a pile of verbal abuse for pudding! I try really hard not to go there unless it is absolutely necessary. Over here, you can actually do a lot of your postal work online, print off the postage, nice Mr/s Mail delivery man (some of these guys are really pleasant, obviously a different breed!) will actually pick it up from your mail box when they drop off your daily mail, so unless you need something specific ie: media mail postage or.......my fall down, you want to post overseas.......you can avoid Hades. Yesterday was one of those unfortunate days when, I made a conscious decision to "child-lessly" (they were in school) attempt the post office. More fool me!
First off, one of the Post Office attendants screamed at a customer (ok, so a little bit of an exaggeration, but it was excessive reprimand!) that she needed to fill in all her forms before coming to the desk, poor woman must have felt about knee high. Secondly one of the other attendants was struggling to work out how to perform a procedure that required delivery confirmation on pre-paid postage or something, so, my attendant is just about to finalize my transaction when, after having already abandoned me once to go and get gum! he moves over to help out his colleague, which, in theory is actually nice....but 5 minutes later he is STILL with him, I have a child to pick up, the queue is now 11 long and huffing AND the freakin' big master of the Post Office is just standning there........OBSERVING! Meek and mild no longer rubs with me.........so I just asked if I could please pay as I had a small child to pick up from school - "oh!" says my cashier........15 minutes to pay for 2 parcels within the US, and that doesn't include waiting time in the queue! I think we should start a book on this!
Our local PO is the epitomy of crapness. Frequently there are queues out of the door and one maybe two if we are lucky, desks open. The staff are sullen and rude and it is also badly stocked, so if you need a customs label, they are often out, so you have to approach the snapping crocodile and request one and a pile of verbal abuse for pudding! I try really hard not to go there unless it is absolutely necessary. Over here, you can actually do a lot of your postal work online, print off the postage, nice Mr/s Mail delivery man (some of these guys are really pleasant, obviously a different breed!) will actually pick it up from your mail box when they drop off your daily mail, so unless you need something specific ie: media mail postage or.......my fall down, you want to post overseas.......you can avoid Hades. Yesterday was one of those unfortunate days when, I made a conscious decision to "child-lessly" (they were in school) attempt the post office. More fool me!
First off, one of the Post Office attendants screamed at a customer (ok, so a little bit of an exaggeration, but it was excessive reprimand!) that she needed to fill in all her forms before coming to the desk, poor woman must have felt about knee high. Secondly one of the other attendants was struggling to work out how to perform a procedure that required delivery confirmation on pre-paid postage or something, so, my attendant is just about to finalize my transaction when, after having already abandoned me once to go and get gum! he moves over to help out his colleague, which, in theory is actually nice....but 5 minutes later he is STILL with him, I have a child to pick up, the queue is now 11 long and huffing AND the freakin' big master of the Post Office is just standning there........OBSERVING! Meek and mild no longer rubs with me.........so I just asked if I could please pay as I had a small child to pick up from school - "oh!" says my cashier........15 minutes to pay for 2 parcels within the US, and that doesn't include waiting time in the queue! I think we should start a book on this!
Monday, January 29, 2007
Between a Rock and a Hard Place
Mama # 2 had her baby yesterday! This has been a week of new births in this small area of CT by all accounts. So on getting back on Friday night, I was called away again on Sunday evening. My client's water had broken and they were all set on staying home (I was rooting for this choice to be made) however, within 10 mins they had rung again to say that there was some blood in the water and they were nervous, would I meet them at the hospital?
Nights when I am called away always fill me with such mixed feelings. Of course there is the initial excitement of a new baby, a new labour and birth and new opportunities to help a mother achieve a great birth experience, then intrepidation, for their health and then for staying on the right side of interventions etc etc, then also, that real niggling, sarcastic feeling that I can never get rid of these days of " how long before the epidural, how long before they wave the white flag at me and tell me they no longer want to stick to their original ideals"? I know, I know, I was the same with my first, so were many of my friends, it was then we discovered there was so much more to the birth experience than watching it from the outside. We became so much more aware of how to work with the contractions and embrace them really deep (in a literal sense too!) rather than fighting it because it hurt.
Anyway........this birth I remembered to pack my Yoga mat - yuhuh, not to actually practise!! but because most times I end up sleeping on the grimy hospital floor while the parents try to get rest. i cannot sleep in a chair, I have to be flat and after the birth in September where I slept on a cold tile floor and woke up freezing and in shock, I decided that my yoga mat would be anotehr prop I would add to my bag of goodies!
However, this birth has left me more troubled than most. These clients were already under more stress than many of my clients, their child was conceived with IVF, they had been told that she may have androplaysia dwarfism and the mom had not had an easy pregnancy, gestational diabetes, high blood pressure and a family history of P-E and prematurity.
When their daughter was born, she didn't appear to be out of proportion in anyway. She appeared healthy, muscle tone and colour all good and great Apgars. But to me, her protruding tongue and almondy looking eyes were suggesting she may have Down Syndrome. This was not noticed or said by the paediatrician, so I hope to god I am totally wrong and she was just small and these were regular features. I keep looking at the photos I took, in many, her tongue is out, not just a little, but a long pointed protrusion. I am sure (and I really really hope) I am wrong. i said nothing and intend to say nothing to the parents. it isn't my place, I am no expert suffice to say that my instinct is bugging me. I sincerely hope I never mention this again.
Well, time to hit the sack. My eyes are so heavy that my head keeps toppling backwards, if the boys were awake they would call me a bobble head!
Goodnight!
Nights when I am called away always fill me with such mixed feelings. Of course there is the initial excitement of a new baby, a new labour and birth and new opportunities to help a mother achieve a great birth experience, then intrepidation, for their health and then for staying on the right side of interventions etc etc, then also, that real niggling, sarcastic feeling that I can never get rid of these days of " how long before the epidural, how long before they wave the white flag at me and tell me they no longer want to stick to their original ideals"? I know, I know, I was the same with my first, so were many of my friends, it was then we discovered there was so much more to the birth experience than watching it from the outside. We became so much more aware of how to work with the contractions and embrace them really deep (in a literal sense too!) rather than fighting it because it hurt.
Anyway........this birth I remembered to pack my Yoga mat - yuhuh, not to actually practise!! but because most times I end up sleeping on the grimy hospital floor while the parents try to get rest. i cannot sleep in a chair, I have to be flat and after the birth in September where I slept on a cold tile floor and woke up freezing and in shock, I decided that my yoga mat would be anotehr prop I would add to my bag of goodies!
However, this birth has left me more troubled than most. These clients were already under more stress than many of my clients, their child was conceived with IVF, they had been told that she may have androplaysia dwarfism and the mom had not had an easy pregnancy, gestational diabetes, high blood pressure and a family history of P-E and prematurity.
When their daughter was born, she didn't appear to be out of proportion in anyway. She appeared healthy, muscle tone and colour all good and great Apgars. But to me, her protruding tongue and almondy looking eyes were suggesting she may have Down Syndrome. This was not noticed or said by the paediatrician, so I hope to god I am totally wrong and she was just small and these were regular features. I keep looking at the photos I took, in many, her tongue is out, not just a little, but a long pointed protrusion. I am sure (and I really really hope) I am wrong. i said nothing and intend to say nothing to the parents. it isn't my place, I am no expert suffice to say that my instinct is bugging me. I sincerely hope I never mention this again.
Well, time to hit the sack. My eyes are so heavy that my head keeps toppling backwards, if the boys were awake they would call me a bobble head!
Goodnight!
Saturday, January 27, 2007
YMCA
We have a standing joke that I am sure many family's have and this is particularly apparent with Little Mr Beehive! When he is on top form, he is obviously my son, when feeling particularly mischeveous, he is most certainly his father's!! - funnily enough, the same rules apply for the dog too!! but that is another day!
One of Little Mr Beehive's particular similarities to his father, rather than my Monica-ness about things, is his disdain of tidying up. LMrB could live days, maybe even months or years, I break out in goosebumps just thinking about it, under piles of worn clothing, with books all over the place, tripping over shoes and toys etc.
As a family, we all chip in to lay and clear the table at meal times.........one of LMrB's pet hates. Often when asked to help out he starts up what is slowly becoming his signature - It starts with a hopping, then clutching at his groin, then more hopping which intensifies and becomes a frenetic jump, then a mad dash to the bathroom and wails of "I need to peeeeeeeeeeeee!".
Well today we are all sitting, waiting patiently for him to return, which he starts to do...arriving at the kitchen door, he notices, perhaps, his yogurt pot still sitting where it was left waiting for him to put it in the trash and announces with a big grin - "oh no, now I have to go pooh!"
The usual round of raised eyebrows pass the table, even Little Miss Beehive has caught onto this, speaking of whom was trying desperately to get me to feed her my strawberries "me try one?" she asked hopefully (oh, she had already had her own bowl so please don't feel too concerned for her!). I looked at her and she tried again "just a liddle one okay mama?" she asked with fluttering eyelashes and her twitchy fingers already in my bowl - we are in fits of giggles about her already demure and "girlie" pleading techniques, so when LMrB decides that his bathroom business is taking a little long (his father is more of a book man, but we never really started that routine with the children) we are entertained with a hearty and loud rendition of the Village People, which interspersed with grunts and splashes makes for a great Saturday lunch!!
Y..........grrr...........M.......ggggrrrrrrr......C...............A SPLASH!!! aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh*sigh*
One of Little Mr Beehive's particular similarities to his father, rather than my Monica-ness about things, is his disdain of tidying up. LMrB could live days, maybe even months or years, I break out in goosebumps just thinking about it, under piles of worn clothing, with books all over the place, tripping over shoes and toys etc.
As a family, we all chip in to lay and clear the table at meal times.........one of LMrB's pet hates. Often when asked to help out he starts up what is slowly becoming his signature - It starts with a hopping, then clutching at his groin, then more hopping which intensifies and becomes a frenetic jump, then a mad dash to the bathroom and wails of "I need to peeeeeeeeeeeee!".
Well today we are all sitting, waiting patiently for him to return, which he starts to do...arriving at the kitchen door, he notices, perhaps, his yogurt pot still sitting where it was left waiting for him to put it in the trash and announces with a big grin - "oh no, now I have to go pooh!"
The usual round of raised eyebrows pass the table, even Little Miss Beehive has caught onto this, speaking of whom was trying desperately to get me to feed her my strawberries "me try one?" she asked hopefully (oh, she had already had her own bowl so please don't feel too concerned for her!). I looked at her and she tried again "just a liddle one okay mama?" she asked with fluttering eyelashes and her twitchy fingers already in my bowl - we are in fits of giggles about her already demure and "girlie" pleading techniques, so when LMrB decides that his bathroom business is taking a little long (his father is more of a book man, but we never really started that routine with the children) we are entertained with a hearty and loud rendition of the Village People, which interspersed with grunts and splashes makes for a great Saturday lunch!!
Y..........grrr...........M.......ggggrrrrrrr......C...............A SPLASH!!! aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh*sigh*
A tale of two births
So this week has strangely brought about the kinds of births that many of us could only dream about.
Firstly, on Sunday, my friend Cari and her husband, Rob, birthed their second child on the floor of their bathroom! They were all set to go to the birthing centre but their son had other plans. Cari is a wonderful, calm woman and took all of this in her stride. She would have certainly relished the intimacy of birthing her baby at home (something that so many women are not able to do here in CT. for issues of insurance, lack of HB midwives etc) and it had been her secret longing all the way.
Keep this image in your minds readers, because shrouding this beautiful story was the one that then followed when they did what any person would have done and is legally meant to do (I think!) and they called 911. What followed was a horrific pre- judgement of them as mad renegade hippies and thus were treated like second class citizens. Their healthy 9lb+ son was taken from them into the NICU, fed formula and Rob was unable to hold him until the next day, that and they were threatened with legal action if they did not comply!!
Yesterday Cari's pain was intense to say the least. No-one heard her, that all she wanted to do at the hospital was stay with her son, nurse him herself to get his sugar up and be his mother!!
If there is ever a number 4 in the Beehive.............s/he will be birthed at home IN ENGLAND!
Birth number two was my clients, due last Wednesday. Again this couple were due to be birthing at the same birthing centre and were driving down from about 45 miles north in NY state! Her first labour had been fast for a P.G and so we were expecting this to be about a 4-5 hour birth. Her cervix had already been partly dilated and effaced and she had mild, inconsistent, occasional contractions. She rang me at 3.20 yesterday afternoon to say her water had gone and they were going to drive in. I sorted out my childcare, and left my house by 4.30. Traffic aside..........I still wouldn't have made it!!! They walked in the birth centre door at about 4.30, Baby Auden was born just 20 mins later. My arrival at 5.06 was just too darned late!! I did remain with them however, as they had another child whom I was going to sit with for a while.
Ironically (is it??), despite this being a MUCH different scenario to the one Cari went through at the hospital and my client enjoying just "being" with her family, one of the nurses at the centre was desperate to push them to go home. She hinted about the weather getting much worse (cold, not snow) and how she would be far happier in the lounge of the birthing centre rather than in the bedroom bonding with the baby and enjoying some alone time...........Funny, it really is a game of two halves!!
Today is "Primary Mom's Day" at school. So W. has been up since the crack asking if it is time to go yet. He has chosen to wear a shirt and tie (!!) so I feel incredibly underdressed in comparison. I have had half the contents of my wardrobe on at one point this morning, do I do:
1. Sensible mother: nice smart brown trousers and shirt and boots (with heels)?
2. Warm and cuddly mummy - comfy trousers and a big warm sweater and sneakers?
3. Posh mom, smart pencil skirt, neat blouse, jacket, pantyhose (ha, just put that in cos I LOVE the word!! so stupid!) and heels
4. Normal me, but slightly off the cuff earth mama - Empire style patterned loud shirt and short, cropped cardi with jeans....................
Believe it or not, I do own an assemble of the above in some form or other, but........well, I wouldn't be W's mama if I tried to be anything but number 4!!
Okay, my other half is back from the gym - yes, he scoots out on a Saturday morning, (like all the other days in the week!) leaving me with Saturday chaos of children, dishwashers, breakfasts, bed making, dressing children, showering, walking and feeding dog...........bet he hasn't even brought me a coffee!!!!
Oh well!
Firstly, on Sunday, my friend Cari and her husband, Rob, birthed their second child on the floor of their bathroom! They were all set to go to the birthing centre but their son had other plans. Cari is a wonderful, calm woman and took all of this in her stride. She would have certainly relished the intimacy of birthing her baby at home (something that so many women are not able to do here in CT. for issues of insurance, lack of HB midwives etc) and it had been her secret longing all the way.
Keep this image in your minds readers, because shrouding this beautiful story was the one that then followed when they did what any person would have done and is legally meant to do (I think!) and they called 911. What followed was a horrific pre- judgement of them as mad renegade hippies and thus were treated like second class citizens. Their healthy 9lb+ son was taken from them into the NICU, fed formula and Rob was unable to hold him until the next day, that and they were threatened with legal action if they did not comply!!
Yesterday Cari's pain was intense to say the least. No-one heard her, that all she wanted to do at the hospital was stay with her son, nurse him herself to get his sugar up and be his mother!!
If there is ever a number 4 in the Beehive.............s/he will be birthed at home IN ENGLAND!
Birth number two was my clients, due last Wednesday. Again this couple were due to be birthing at the same birthing centre and were driving down from about 45 miles north in NY state! Her first labour had been fast for a P.G and so we were expecting this to be about a 4-5 hour birth. Her cervix had already been partly dilated and effaced and she had mild, inconsistent, occasional contractions. She rang me at 3.20 yesterday afternoon to say her water had gone and they were going to drive in. I sorted out my childcare, and left my house by 4.30. Traffic aside..........I still wouldn't have made it!!! They walked in the birth centre door at about 4.30, Baby Auden was born just 20 mins later. My arrival at 5.06 was just too darned late!! I did remain with them however, as they had another child whom I was going to sit with for a while.
Ironically (is it??), despite this being a MUCH different scenario to the one Cari went through at the hospital and my client enjoying just "being" with her family, one of the nurses at the centre was desperate to push them to go home. She hinted about the weather getting much worse (cold, not snow) and how she would be far happier in the lounge of the birthing centre rather than in the bedroom bonding with the baby and enjoying some alone time...........Funny, it really is a game of two halves!!
Today is "Primary Mom's Day" at school. So W. has been up since the crack asking if it is time to go yet. He has chosen to wear a shirt and tie (!!) so I feel incredibly underdressed in comparison. I have had half the contents of my wardrobe on at one point this morning, do I do:
1. Sensible mother: nice smart brown trousers and shirt and boots (with heels)?
2. Warm and cuddly mummy - comfy trousers and a big warm sweater and sneakers?
3. Posh mom, smart pencil skirt, neat blouse, jacket, pantyhose (ha, just put that in cos I LOVE the word!! so stupid!) and heels
4. Normal me, but slightly off the cuff earth mama - Empire style patterned loud shirt and short, cropped cardi with jeans....................
Believe it or not, I do own an assemble of the above in some form or other, but........well, I wouldn't be W's mama if I tried to be anything but number 4!!
Okay, my other half is back from the gym - yes, he scoots out on a Saturday morning, (like all the other days in the week!) leaving me with Saturday chaos of children, dishwashers, breakfasts, bed making, dressing children, showering, walking and feeding dog...........bet he hasn't even brought me a coffee!!!!
Oh well!
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Four legs good, Two legs bad!!!
I cannot be the only one in the world who wonders sometimes who on earth writes the news scripts?
This week's corker has to go to the radio news reader (shamefully I can't remember what station as I was just flicking to find news of any sort) who came up with this faux pas after an emergency landing by an aircraft due to the death of the pilot in transit:
" the plane landed safely at x airport. No-one was hurt in the emergency landing...........(pause)........except the pilot of course."
At bookclub this month we have just discussed "The Spirit Catches you and you fall down". If you haven't read it, it is well worth the read. A book written by a journalist who followed the life of a little Hmong girl with epilepsy and her family. They move from Laos to the US whereupon it is discovered that this little girl has epilepsy. In the Hmong culture, epilepsy is seen as a gift, it is described as the title. Many shamen have this gift. Anyway in America epilepsy is seen as a medical condition that is treatable. However, neither her parents speak English or read Hmong nor at the time were there interpreters. There is a real cross fire of culture and in the end, by whatever means, the little girl eventually becomes so sick that she doesn't recover and remains from this day forth, in a vegetative state. I shan't give too much more of the book away, suffice to say that I found it very impressionable. Whereas initially it is so easy to "judge" from a western stance, ie: were the Hmong stupid not to take the tablets, surely they must know that medicine was the only help for her, of course the doctors were right; in more depth it is actually incomprehensible to really understand HOW the Hmong felt about this and why. This culture is so far removed from any of our pre-conceived ideas of technology, medicine, illness and even hierarchy, that it became a book that certainly I (not sure any of my fellow bookclubbers remained with my by this point!!) started seeing from, if you like, a levitational view. I really knew that I could never understand why this happened and to be honest, I don't think I was meant to, but it really helped me open my eyes. It was well written, the author had certainly got to a certain degree of intimacy with the Hmong, and reported the history and the facts as such, but had she understood them, no, absolutely not, and she won't, just as had a Hmong written the book they would never have understood it from a Western POV.
That said, if you like books that make you think outside the box, ie: this is not a particularly easy read, it is also written in a very journalistic way too, then try it.
The other "bee" in my bonnet this week is an article in the http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/01/10/nschools10.xmlTelegraph in the UK about the call to scrap catchment areas for schools and basically to draw names out of a hat for intake for schools. I can see what they are trying to achieve by doing this: ie a mixed intake so that lower socio-economic areas are not necessarily going to be the lower achieving schools, house prices remaining more constant because there will be less desire to move to a good school catchment area etc but my problems with it are thus:
1. A good school is not solely down to the area. A good school comprises, in my opinion, of a good strong headteacher, motivated staff, funding, a mix of pupils who are inspired.
2. What about people who do live, and have always lived, within walking distances of local schools that they are more than happy and expect their children to attend, they have to get into cars, add to the pollution and traffic and parking problems to drive 4 - 5 miles across town to a school where their child's name HAS been drawn.
3. Private schools are going to be oversubscribed and thus this will eventually have a knock on effect for funding for state schools ie: less pupils= less capital = not achieving #1 in my list!!
4. People are always going to "change religion", move to a good catchment area or bend the rules to ensure as much as possible that their child gets the best possible education.
It's crazy. I am sure my parents never had the problems that my generation are now facing. Our house in the UK backs onto a school, currently we will presume that our younger two will be offered places there. We hope T will, but as his entry will be to Y5 it may be harder and he doesn't really fit into this argument, he is a different case. That said, if either of the others don't get in, we are lucky as the next options locally are also excellent schools but I will be fulfulling #2 and driving 3 miles to a different school - madness! In our area in the UK a lot of the problem is down to the fact that they are building more and more houses and not keeping the amenities up so that everyone is accomodated. Before we left for overseas, they had already knocked down one house three doors down and built three teeny tiny postage stamp sized town houses in it's place, so now as a minimum there are three (but probably 6 or more) people living in the same sized plot as 1 or maybe 2 were before!! There are or maybe have been 60 houses built on wooded area all of which are "family" houses so that is another 240 people to get into the already oversubscribed doctor's surgery and 120 more children probably to get into the local school that attaches to my house...........
Would we pay privately to ensure them a good quality of education if we were in a situation where our next offering of school was crap - probably, yes, because we could if we tightened our belts but why should we? and what happens to people who can't?
Maybe all this money spent on developing lovely wooded natural land could have been spent on schools or amenities? Nah, of course not, at the end of the day, that won't line some business man or politician's pocket so s/he can continue to send his/her children to a private school away from us riff raff.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
The Great Hiawatha
It has been a funny kind of week this week, we have had some snow - finally (about 1/2 and inch, a sneeze in fact, hardly worth mentioning) but of course this has meant the rigmarole of snow pants and boots, gloves, hats and scarves X 3 has been part of our daily school routine. That is not to mention ensuring that all 6 gloves, 6 snow boots, 3 snow pants, scarves, hats and jackets, spare wet clothes including socks, homework, readers, and 2 lunch packs are all brought home again afterwards too!
I have been feeling somewhat displaced this week. I suppose because the week began with our realisation that we have now been here 18 months and it is possible that in the same time again, we could be moved. I suppose in my mind I always presumed we would be going home (which we still quite probably will be) but then R. brought up the topic of another international move.
We had set a time frame to ensure we would be back int he UK by T. starting at secondary school, so we still do have time to play with. But it just threw me off kilter a little.
It always seems so glamorous to live the life of an ex-pat - the exotic-ness, the new places to explore, the multicultural lifestyle, the gin brigade, the "clubs" blah blah - point is, it may be like that in many places, but for most expats, life has to continue in much the same vein as it does at home, only without the close friends and family, without the roots and security of knowing what is coming, without the choice of whether to work or not, without the familiarity and unsaid background knowledge of the country and culture.
It is a great lifestyle, I am forever grateful for our opportunities, but......there is also a loss of something, a fear that the gaps you leave behind will be filled, that you are "missing out" on the goings on back home. I suppose I didn't realise I was so much of a home bird! I have missed the births of friend's and my SISTER's babies, celebrations for events, changes and even now a funeral. Often expat wives are called "Trailing Spouses" and that is exactly sometimes how I feel.
Today has been another day for de-cluttering - I AM ON A ROLL! We have de-papered today. It began this morning when we talked about extending the house back home in a few years, turning what is currently the bathroom into a study. This room is very small and we are drowning in paper! Too much for this wee john to accomodate!
The biggest problem with being a hoarder - is being married to a financial one! My dear other half is the world's WORST for hoarding paper, receipts dating back years! Do you know, I even found an estate agent's blog thing for HIS first house in Manchester! So, once again, our house is breathing a huge sigh of relief and Ebay is heaving with Fimbles, Teletubbies (oh they're not paper I know, i moved onto the kid's rooms next!), clothes, books etc
Finally I must just leave you with W's latest little character. My younger son is great for coming up with truly hilarious names for characters. He has a wonderfully natural sense of humour and a devilishly sharp wit. He was entertaining the masses with his game of Indians, where of course, he is the chief. I asked him what his name was -
"Skumpton" he replied
I introduce to you: Indian Chief............Skumpton????!!!! Where DOES he come up with it?
I have been feeling somewhat displaced this week. I suppose because the week began with our realisation that we have now been here 18 months and it is possible that in the same time again, we could be moved. I suppose in my mind I always presumed we would be going home (which we still quite probably will be) but then R. brought up the topic of another international move.
We had set a time frame to ensure we would be back int he UK by T. starting at secondary school, so we still do have time to play with. But it just threw me off kilter a little.
It always seems so glamorous to live the life of an ex-pat - the exotic-ness, the new places to explore, the multicultural lifestyle, the gin brigade, the "clubs" blah blah - point is, it may be like that in many places, but for most expats, life has to continue in much the same vein as it does at home, only without the close friends and family, without the roots and security of knowing what is coming, without the choice of whether to work or not, without the familiarity and unsaid background knowledge of the country and culture.
It is a great lifestyle, I am forever grateful for our opportunities, but......there is also a loss of something, a fear that the gaps you leave behind will be filled, that you are "missing out" on the goings on back home. I suppose I didn't realise I was so much of a home bird! I have missed the births of friend's and my SISTER's babies, celebrations for events, changes and even now a funeral. Often expat wives are called "Trailing Spouses" and that is exactly sometimes how I feel.
Today has been another day for de-cluttering - I AM ON A ROLL! We have de-papered today. It began this morning when we talked about extending the house back home in a few years, turning what is currently the bathroom into a study. This room is very small and we are drowning in paper! Too much for this wee john to accomodate!
The biggest problem with being a hoarder - is being married to a financial one! My dear other half is the world's WORST for hoarding paper, receipts dating back years! Do you know, I even found an estate agent's blog thing for HIS first house in Manchester! So, once again, our house is breathing a huge sigh of relief and Ebay is heaving with Fimbles, Teletubbies (oh they're not paper I know, i moved onto the kid's rooms next!), clothes, books etc
Finally I must just leave you with W's latest little character. My younger son is great for coming up with truly hilarious names for characters. He has a wonderfully natural sense of humour and a devilishly sharp wit. He was entertaining the masses with his game of Indians, where of course, he is the chief. I asked him what his name was -
"Skumpton" he replied
I introduce to you: Indian Chief............Skumpton????!!!! Where DOES he come up with it?
Friday, January 12, 2007
Take a moment
Today is not a day for good tidings. I have just learned that my piano teacher died two days ago. He had an aneurism I think and they hadn't expected him to last very long at all, but he managed a good six months. Thing is, he wasn't very old at all. I really can't get my head around it. He taught me from the age of 7 until 18, packing me off to The London College of Music on Saturdays, taking me through my music 'A' levels (and GCSE), smiling gently as I would throw a tantrum over not getting the Khatachurian dance right again, having patience as I tripped over my fingers over and over, encouraging me all the way. He leaves a wife and three daughters
Second news was that an school friend is due with her third boy any day now and her terminally ill husband has only weeks left to live. Imagine, a widow at 34, those poor sweet boys. i don't know how I would cope. R. is not only my husband, my sounding board, my sanity, my patient, patient supporter, he is, in a literal sense, my soul mate. I know i would be flat without him. I don't know how she will be without her partner. I so desperately want to contact her again, we haven't really been in touch since 6th form, but I don't really know how appropriate it is to start digging up old contacts in this scenario. I know she needs support right now and probably has that from her family and friends and she may think that this is spectating, which it isn't from my point of view, but that may not be shared. Perhaps a card and small gift when the baby arrives is appropriate?
Thirdly, my clients who are due at the end of Jan are going to be induced on Tuesday this coming week. They have been told that their baby may well have androplasia dwarfism but the neonatolagists can't be sure. What ever, the baby is not growing as well as she should. This couple conceived with IVF after lots of trying, so this has been one hell of a rollercoaster few years for them and even now they cannot be assured of an easy birth or parenting journey.
I feel somewhat flat this afternoon. I feel so blessed but equally so bad for these families, whose life journeys have suddenly taken such an enormous turn. Perhaps you can remember these families in your thoughts tonight?
Gratefully yours
TheBeehive
Thursday, January 11, 2007
A story told by Astrid Lindgren, author of Pippi Longstocking.
“Above all, I believe there never should be any violence.”
In 1978, Astrid Lindgren received the German Book Trade Peace Prize for her literary contributions. In acceptance, she told the following story.
“When I was 20 years old, I met an old pastor’s wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn’t believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard practice at the time. But one day when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking-the first of his life. And she told him that he would have to go outside and find a switch for her to hit him with. The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, ‘Mama, I couldn’t find a switch, but here’s a rock that you can throw at me.’
“All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child’s point of view; that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone. And the mother took the boy onto her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because violence begins in the nursery-one can raise children into violence. I think that too often we fail to feel situations from the child’s point of view and that failure leads us to teach our children other than what we think we’re teaching them.”
This made me weep!
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
"You have just realised his worst fears!!"
- "Always treat your 'babies' as the real thing" - (number one rule of NCT props and childbirth aid dept!!)
- "When demonstrating breastfeeding do not remove head of baby" (must be rule two)
I have now failed in two attempts. Firstly, I cannot and will not patronise my clients by treating a plastic doll as the real Mcoy......I keep them in plastic bags under a chair for goodness sake and my clients are 36 not 6!!
Secondly I have not only failed number two, but also managed to realise one of my dad's worst fears this evening.
At the start of the course we run a worry board: things that parents wanted answered, are concerned about. Very frequently "dropping the baby" or "hurting the baby accidently" are listed. My present class had listed "killing it, squashing it, dropping it, maiming it," as it's fears, which are pretty just for many new parents.
Tonight we were covering breastfeeding and I was attempting to demonstrate as to why a baby does not find it easy to feed when nestled in the crook of an arm (for the layman - it bends the neck forward and cricks the oesophagus) Normally I ask my clients to bend their own heads down to their chests and try to swallow, but tonight, I also followed up by demonstrating on my "breastfeeding baby" (some overpriced plastic doll with an open mouth AND a faulty HEAD!)..........and the head came clean off .
Sorry, I am laughing even as I type. What a sadist!
That certainly has to go down in history as the way NOT to breastfeed! I have to say, however, I am pleased that I hadn't handed Headless Harry over to my clients for them to "practise" on.......just think of that poor dad, he would have been mortified!!!
Still, I think I am forgiven, we certainly laughed about it. Baby has been reunited with his head and I am now truly on my mission to find a properly suitable demonstration model. Anyone out there a designer? I want a doll with a floppy neck and a bean bag body along with a hard plastic head and open mouth and a visual tongue.
Oh and you had better add unbreakable to my list of wants!!
Saturday, January 06, 2007
2006 in review
2006 in Review
1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before? Pilates, became a doula, got some writing published, went up the Empire State building on Christmas Eve.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?I don't make resolutions, I prefer the freedom of being able to change my mind and I don't like the definition of a "New Year" to be the thing that means I can strive for better things, I can do that anytime!! So part two there is no !
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? How close do you want?
Yes about 10 women all within about 1 foot of me!!!!
....friend wise, Julie, although I haven't seen him yet, she's in Spain!
4. Did anyone close to you die? No and I am grateful to be saying that
5. What countries did you visit? Jamaica, Belgium and England (that seems weird!) but we are living in the States and exploring there, does that count?
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? More time!!
7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Gosh that is a hard question. Nothing major happened (for once!) so I guess 2006 will go down in a history as a nice, calm year with no moves, no babies (of my own!), no new houses etc.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Is this really banal to say losing 10lbs and getting a great Yoga venue to practise at?
9. What was your biggest failure? Losing my rag sometimes, taking things on in such a personal way, getting irate about things I cannot change!
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? No, but R. did and I hope that he remains on track this year. That doesn't want to recurr this year!
11. What was the best thing you bought? I have no idea that there is any one thing: A mattress pad for our bed - now I really can sleep, several gifts for people for Christmas from Oxfam unwrapped, a new camera, maybe my really good blender so now I make smoothies for W. and kid him into consuming veggies and fruit!!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? OMG, every day I see people on the t.v, in papers who have done selfless deeds, fostered children, helped in the developing world, saved lives............
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Where do I start? George Bush and his lack of recognition in the US's part in global warming for one small issue, many tabloids and their exploitaiton and sensationalistic stories, many OB's!! Nestle, Nestle, Nestle ......
14. Where did most of your money go? Probably on organic food, then books I expect, although I think a lot disappears into R's share scheme at work which we will one day see again I think!
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? My family and friends coming to visit...........oh and a takeaway - it means I don't have to cook!!!
16. What song will always remind you of 2006? Jingle Bells I expect. I. sings it with such panache and T has learnt to play it on the piano!! In fact I am actually heartily SICK OF IT!
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:i. happier or sadder? Neither, but I am more content and at peace with myself.
ii. thinner or fatter? Woohoo - thinner - 10lbs - did I say that?
iii. richer or poorer? Probably richer, it feels like poorer, smalls like to eat, grow and do things, but we certainly have enough.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Exploring the area and country we are currently living in, writing, taken more video of the children, breathed!
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Driving, sulking!
20. How will you be spending the Winter? Hopefully in much the same way I spend most of my time surrounded by my family, snuggled up in front of the fire or mucking around on our "ski hill" in the back yard on a sled!!
22. Did you fall in love in 2006? Not especially.
23. What was your favorite month of 2006? I don't really think I had one, each month had it's qualities
.24. What was your favorite TV program? I do like "House", but we tend to watch videos of British series' rather than channels, Spooks, Messiah, that kind of thing.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? No, that is far too harsh a word. I have lower esteem for a few people I didn't this time last year, and disappointment in one friend, but equally higher esteem of a few.
26. What was the best book you read? The BEST book? Hmmmm, I liked one I read really recently "The Spirit catches you and you fall down" also "The Mind of Boys" was pretty inspiring, I don't know. Oh hang on, I really liked the book "A year by the sea".
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? That my clarinet still works and isn't full of mould - yet!!!
28. What did you want and get? More energy - sometimes, healthier - definitely,
29. What was your favorite film of this year? The Constant Gardener.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I honestly can't remember, we might have had a meal out somewhere? Isn't that dreadful! I was 34
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? That overnight my children would have developed the ability to talk to each other rather than shout at top volume, that they would never fall out or argue or at least would reason with each other and that the clothes looked as good on me as they did on the model!!!!
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? A huge mix of alternative, boho, hippy look with an underlying awareness of the phrase "mutton dressed as lamb". Hopefully pretty young and funky, although it does very often consist of jeans!!!!!!!
33. What kept you sane? A nice Chardonnay and a book.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Not fancy, but I admire Angelina Jolie, not so much for her acting, more her international work, her physique and that she has snagged Mr Pitt (the bitch!) however I have the lushes for Johnny D, Orlando (of course) and Mr Aragorn - so as you can imagine, Pirates of the Carribean and LOTR are somewhat of a porn fest for me!!!
35. What political issue stirred you the most? The polar icecap has rattled R's cage. The technocracies of birth in the US is what stirs me the most
.36. Who did you miss? My family and friends
37. Who was the best new person you met? I don't know, I met a bunch of new people this year who have been lots of fun to know, maybe Laurie........my yoga buddy and Montessori mom, probably Mary, she is my inspiration and guru.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006: Two really: Your kids are who they are - let them just be and you won't find that 26 hour day, it just ain't there.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: Hmmm still thinking.
1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before? Pilates, became a doula, got some writing published, went up the Empire State building on Christmas Eve.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?I don't make resolutions, I prefer the freedom of being able to change my mind and I don't like the definition of a "New Year" to be the thing that means I can strive for better things, I can do that anytime!! So part two there is no !
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? How close do you want?
Yes about 10 women all within about 1 foot of me!!!!
....friend wise, Julie, although I haven't seen him yet, she's in Spain!
4. Did anyone close to you die? No and I am grateful to be saying that
5. What countries did you visit? Jamaica, Belgium and England (that seems weird!) but we are living in the States and exploring there, does that count?
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? More time!!
7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Gosh that is a hard question. Nothing major happened (for once!) so I guess 2006 will go down in a history as a nice, calm year with no moves, no babies (of my own!), no new houses etc.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Is this really banal to say losing 10lbs and getting a great Yoga venue to practise at?
9. What was your biggest failure? Losing my rag sometimes, taking things on in such a personal way, getting irate about things I cannot change!
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? No, but R. did and I hope that he remains on track this year. That doesn't want to recurr this year!
11. What was the best thing you bought? I have no idea that there is any one thing: A mattress pad for our bed - now I really can sleep, several gifts for people for Christmas from Oxfam unwrapped, a new camera, maybe my really good blender so now I make smoothies for W. and kid him into consuming veggies and fruit!!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? OMG, every day I see people on the t.v, in papers who have done selfless deeds, fostered children, helped in the developing world, saved lives............
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Where do I start? George Bush and his lack of recognition in the US's part in global warming for one small issue, many tabloids and their exploitaiton and sensationalistic stories, many OB's!! Nestle, Nestle, Nestle ......
14. Where did most of your money go? Probably on organic food, then books I expect, although I think a lot disappears into R's share scheme at work which we will one day see again I think!
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? My family and friends coming to visit...........oh and a takeaway - it means I don't have to cook!!!
16. What song will always remind you of 2006? Jingle Bells I expect. I. sings it with such panache and T has learnt to play it on the piano!! In fact I am actually heartily SICK OF IT!
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:i. happier or sadder? Neither, but I am more content and at peace with myself.
ii. thinner or fatter? Woohoo - thinner - 10lbs - did I say that?
iii. richer or poorer? Probably richer, it feels like poorer, smalls like to eat, grow and do things, but we certainly have enough.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Exploring the area and country we are currently living in, writing, taken more video of the children, breathed!
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Driving, sulking!
20. How will you be spending the Winter? Hopefully in much the same way I spend most of my time surrounded by my family, snuggled up in front of the fire or mucking around on our "ski hill" in the back yard on a sled!!
22. Did you fall in love in 2006? Not especially.
23. What was your favorite month of 2006? I don't really think I had one, each month had it's qualities
.24. What was your favorite TV program? I do like "House", but we tend to watch videos of British series' rather than channels, Spooks, Messiah, that kind of thing.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? No, that is far too harsh a word. I have lower esteem for a few people I didn't this time last year, and disappointment in one friend, but equally higher esteem of a few.
26. What was the best book you read? The BEST book? Hmmmm, I liked one I read really recently "The Spirit catches you and you fall down" also "The Mind of Boys" was pretty inspiring, I don't know. Oh hang on, I really liked the book "A year by the sea".
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? That my clarinet still works and isn't full of mould - yet!!!
28. What did you want and get? More energy - sometimes, healthier - definitely,
29. What was your favorite film of this year? The Constant Gardener.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I honestly can't remember, we might have had a meal out somewhere? Isn't that dreadful! I was 34
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? That overnight my children would have developed the ability to talk to each other rather than shout at top volume, that they would never fall out or argue or at least would reason with each other and that the clothes looked as good on me as they did on the model!!!!
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? A huge mix of alternative, boho, hippy look with an underlying awareness of the phrase "mutton dressed as lamb". Hopefully pretty young and funky, although it does very often consist of jeans!!!!!!!
33. What kept you sane? A nice Chardonnay and a book.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Not fancy, but I admire Angelina Jolie, not so much for her acting, more her international work, her physique and that she has snagged Mr Pitt (the bitch!) however I have the lushes for Johnny D, Orlando (of course) and Mr Aragorn - so as you can imagine, Pirates of the Carribean and LOTR are somewhat of a porn fest for me!!!
35. What political issue stirred you the most? The polar icecap has rattled R's cage. The technocracies of birth in the US is what stirs me the most
.36. Who did you miss? My family and friends
37. Who was the best new person you met? I don't know, I met a bunch of new people this year who have been lots of fun to know, maybe Laurie........my yoga buddy and Montessori mom, probably Mary, she is my inspiration and guru.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006: Two really: Your kids are who they are - let them just be and you won't find that 26 hour day, it just ain't there.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: Hmmm still thinking.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Okay, so current mood is apparent then!!!!!!
I have days when I wonder what I am up against. This morning on the way to school I am called by a lady who is 5 days PP. She is suffering from the after effects of an epidural (swelling everywhere) a 1st degree tear (v.painful!!) and the consequences of the somewhat floppy mouth of what must can only be a lactation consultant from the hospital having a very bad day of sense of judgement. Of course, I can only take her word for it, BUT........
She has been feeding him formula since her return from the hospital and hasn't tried to latch him only to pump........to cut a VERY long rant in half, the "advice" from the hospital was that she was "so determined to feed it would be dangerous for the baby"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!&*(*)&((*&$£???? The same consultant (although I am reluctant to call her that) would not answer my client as to what exactly she meant (text book case of foot in mouth syndrome!) and recommended pumping and formula. Her diagnosis was based on the fact that the baby wouldn't latch on.......2 hours after his circumcision surgery (okay don't get me started on that subject!).
Suffice to say, she successfully latched him this morning at 9.30am when I arrived, fed him, found a comfy lying down position AND has aborted the idea to pump for at least 6 weeks.
This is not the first time I have heard this dreadful kind of story. It makes my blood boil. I want to report comments like this. I don't understand what the aim of it is. She is a LACTATION consultant for goodness sake, she is meant to be PRO breastfeeding. If she (my client) hadn't have rung me, she would be exclusively formula feeding now, that sounds really arsey and "what a saviour" I am-ish, that isn't what I mean at all, I just don't know what to do. There needs to be some kind of support (Free if possible or certainly low cost) in place that is genuine, up to date and knowledgeable where women can ring, have someone come around to help without the fear that they can't afford it, the insurance won't cover it, they don't know anyone etc. It happens in the UK with the NCT, although I am not sure that they do home visits anymore. I will get her the contact for the local La Leche league though. If women are told this kind of thing in hospital following a long arduous birth they are naturally going to doubt their ability. This consultant left my client with the understanding that she was not producing milk for her son. True it maybe that her milk supply is not yet established and she may be slower than some for the milk to come it, but meanwhile is producing just what her son needs as long as she feeds him!
So, I am on my way home, fuming, and decide to do my usual........call me tight or frugal but buying snow suits and thick coats for NEXT year in the sale has always been the way I work, saves me loads! I bought I.'s coat and the lady asked me if I had the size up from the one I need as they always come up really small.?!!! So, simple question, if that is common knowledge, why not just make them bigger???????????I don't get it!
I was reading a comment on someone's blog this week about how easy it is when someone has a problem, to feel that problem as one's own. You know, I would love to think that was always true, what a calm and peaceful place the world would be. We would be filled with compassion for each other all the time. Within hours I was reading an article in a magazine about Female Genital Mutilation and the author of the article concluded with saying that how easy people find it to read about issues such as FGM and other disturbing issues and not take on the problem as one's own. The difference tends to be if the situation affects us directly or it is on our own doorstep so to speak. I sometimes feel this conflicted about my job. How far should I go to try and change things? how much can I, one person do? Oddly enough T. is currently reading Gulliver's Travels. Look at how much those tiny Lilliputians did as a team !! Then this evening I got home to an e-mail from a client I taught a week or two ago for a short series, she said:
"....F. (her husband)remembered everything too. He was such a champ. He helped me more than I could imagine anyone could....."
I suppose the answer is that one day we will see the effects of our desire for change, one day, if we work as a team there maybe more miwife infuence, more education for OB's on the holistic model of care, but until that point we will have to continue to plug the holes in the dam, be that drop in the ocean.
Okay, so ramble over, I must go a re-do dinner, yes you read that right, re-do, as the mutt decided that it was his, admittedly R. was late home tonight but that is really taking the p**s.
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