Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Down with Groundhogs and up with valium!!!

Damn that wretched little rodent!!!

Like he couldn't have stayed asleep a little longer!
For those of you who don't have the first clue what I am whittling about then I will put you in the light:
Punxsutawney Phil is a groundhog, also known as a woodchuck or whistle pig, basically he is a furry rodent about the size of a small otter/cat who hibernates in the winter. On Feb 2nd, (Groundhog day - yes, like the film!) if he is spotted coming out of hibernation and can see his shadow then there will be six more weeks of winter, if he can't, then spring is coming. Apparently no-one told this chap that if he stands under a tree, then the sun won't get to him.....tada, no shadow, so THANK YOU PHIL!! We today, have a snow day! Okay, so it isn't so much snow as another sneeze, but more is forecast for later, so I suppose shutting the school was inevitable!

Yes, valentine's day, the day of Luuuurrrve, I am luvin' it large at home with Les Enfants, who are currently making "red-food" shopping lists as I hastily agreed, after #1 son made me pancakes and strawberries (with Daddy's help) for breakfast, to making them a "red lunch" which is what they were going to be doing at school today. It was a moment of madness!!!!!!!!

So to end this little ramble, I want to dedicate this poem* to the rodent who is leading me to the bottle of chilling vino this evening (luckily I went to yoga last night so I won't feel so bad about a glass of wine!!)

*Disclaimer - I am NOT a poet and this following pile of crap may significantly improve AFTER the aforementioned wine later!!! But for now, read at your peril!

Dear Punxsutawney Phil,
I write with a request,
If you aren't sure what the winter holds
Stay quiet in your nest!

Don't be such a bloke
who can't say "I don't know"
but has to give an answer
that lands an inch of snow.

I'm freezing off me bits,
Sitting in the house
The heating is up full
And I cannot feel me t**s

My toes have turned to ice
My hands a shade of blue
The kids are running wild off school
I don't know what to do

The cleaner's stuck in a drift
The coffee shop is shut
I'm sick to death of Nemo
I can't even walk the mutt!

Playdo is stuck to the walls
Paint is on the floor
Toys are strewn upstairs and down
My head is feeling sore

Accept you ain't a clue,
Fame's not what it seems
An honest pig we'd rather have
Than one that makes us scream!

So Phil I say to you
On the next Groundhog day
If you don't know the truth, say nothing at all
Or Xtermahog might come your way!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 comment:

pansy said...

You'll need to be careful going up north to Canada then. C is busy shovelling feet of snow away again! By the way, their schools are still open - thought you might be impressed with that!