Saturday, February 24, 2007

For Sale!!!

I have:

Exhibit A: Slightly soiled model of a 2000 male comes with dirt stains, one scar on his back and a couple from chicken pox. Engine tends to wine when it doesn't work the way it was meant to or wanted to. Guzzles gas like there is no tomorrow, but will run on fruit and veg so makes for pretty cheap living! Makes a lot of noise, but is good at self entertainment, can be left for short intervals while buyer goes to pee! Can be sensitive and appears 6 going on 76, but don't be fooled by the gob!! This one actually will tidy up and has a great sense of humour. Hasn't had a haircut in a while so might need some moderation for the right buyer!

Exhibit B: A newer and louder version, this one is a 2002 male. Finger sucking cleanaphobe with a hatred for all things edible and green. Only works on "Manyana" setting and occasionally "stop" setting. "Fast" and "helpful" settings broke in childbirth!! Has a wonderful vocabulary of excuses "I need to pee", "I am tiiiiiiiiiired", "my legs don't work". Has long floppy hair , a cute face and a permanent desire to be butt naked. Very cuddly! Oh, this one is slightly visually impaired and wears glasses that make him so darned cute you won't be able to stay mad at him for long!!!!!!!

Exhibit C: The only female version in this series. A late 2004 model that comes with all pink accessories. Loves "maycup" and "me-lips". Eats anything that moves so beware, can be fatal! Is semi house-trained and loves using the "toylet" but be warned, has a fart that can kill! Unfortunately she has a serious speech impediment substituting "tr" for "f" so can be somewhat embarassing in supermarkets when she shouts about her new "tracking boots" or if she sees a truck go past. This model is particularly fast, moreso than the earlier models, she can move from one area of destruction to the next like a small tornado. She can do wonderous things with soap and keyholes, permanent marker and wallpaper and this one comes with a four legged partner in crime.......which I will throw in for FREE!!!!!!!!

1 comment:

pansy said...

Wow! What a trio. I will have them all please at a cut down price!