Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Bad Mom's Club - anyone welcome!!

Today I feel a little sheepish. Partly due to lack of sleep, which in turn has meant that my "mummy" intuition has not been properly switched on today.

Yesterday I was at an induction which started at 6am and I crawled into bed this morning at 3.30am (okay, so that is a whole different story which I expect I will let you into later on !). During the birth yesterday, I was called by the assistant in T's class to say he was complaining of earache and could I come and get him? Her actual words were "he is whining a lot"!! (okay, so that riled me for a start, he has earache, he is six.........I am closer to 36, I think I would whine!, but you know, complain might have been a less derogatory word, maybe it was lost in translation!?) ANYWAY, digression aside, I had to ask her to phone R as I was mid birth and couldn't get away. It turned out, she didn't ring him, but I did.........they had given him some pain killer (with my acknowledgement and approval) and he was "fine" when R. picked him up half an hour later.
He continued to be fine for the rest of the evening.......so this morning after I have had less than 2.5 hours sleep, he is complaining of being weak, having a headache, being sore on his shoulder (no earache though!) I wasn't up for this........I know, slate me now!
Problem is.; last week on the same day, he pulled the same trick from the bag. I went rushing up to pick him up from school, feeling highly sorry for him, to take himn home to him then running around the house telling me he was fine.........you know the story of the boy who cried wolf right?

So I officially join the bad momma's club today. He ISN'T right today and YES I have kept him off school, he is actually asleep as I type, but even if he didn't have earache this morning, he probably has it now from my "whining" at him.......and now, the phone has just rung and W is running a low grade fever....so I am off to get him and I. !!!

All are in bed!


So while things are quiet for a while, I have one other vent to get of my chest; WHAT IS IT WITH ANESTHETISTS???????????? Okay, I will slightly change that - what is it with Labour and Delivery Anesthetists? Why is it that out of the several I have met, all bar maybe one has fitted into one or more of the following categories?

1. Downright rude!

2. Thinks they are the Saviour

3. Has no regard for informing patients of both benefits and risks of epidural

4. Watches far too much TV, in particular adverts for prescription drugs, and has taken lessons from the same school of "read the small print at top speed in a condescending voice without pausing for breath or changing intonation so that no one has a hope in hell of hearing or understanding what you are talking about" when talking to clients.

5. Isn't sure if they are man or dog and therefore has to bark at everyone in the room.

6. Went to the same customer service school as the Post Office staff!


Last night's delight came in the form of Fred Flintstone himself. So not only could no-one hear what he was saying when he was reading the risks and side effects paperwork, he was reading
it so fast and mumbling into his beard, no-one would have understood him anyway due to the occasional "uhhhhh WILMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAA". My client had done so well, but at last exam was 5cm and decided (she had been at 5 for some 6 hours!!) that she needed
an epidural after her water was broken. The contractions were coming much faster, stronger and longer during this time, of course, usual story, no-one checked her before the epidural was put in, so ..Oh deja vu.... when the epidural was being put in she suddenly felt the urge to push.........I wasn't in the room by this time due to Fred's order of "YOU! Wait outside!" - Okay, woof!! Guess what folks, epi is in........10cms!!

I dunno. I am seriously losing heart with it all. We had a wonderful team for the majority of the labour...........but it is all down to the team. I think the place you birth at, here in particular, is of less consequence than the team you have. We had a great team, letting mom walk around the corridors, intermittently monitoring......following her lead and needs. This had the approval and encouragement of the nurses and her OB. Later when the shift changed we were landed with a nurse who obviously disapproved of this practice...........we were told it "wasn't protocol," "the OB didn't know the protocol here", "if we walk, god forbid something might happen in the corridor......." OMG like she might have a baby????????????? And icing on the cake.....the severely underweight, potentially compromised baby who was induced 3 weeks early because they felt she wasnt' big enough............was a healthy 5lb9oz at 37 weeks!!! So hell, she wasn't going to be 10lbs at term, but I would say that a potential 7lb baby is enough for most!

I would LOVE to write about a birth that totally inspires and encourages me, I would also LOVE to not get so personally involved in it...............is that what is the driving force behind a doula? To feel that you can make some kind of difference (although DO we with our hands tied behind our backs?) or that we feel emotionally with these new parents to strive to achieve a great experience for them in such a medical situation??????? I was thinking about this last night whilst standing like a naughty school girl in the corridor. The only thing I could think of that kept popping into my mind to keep me fired up was a famous quote by Gandi I think "Be the change that you want to see in the world". So okay, maybe it isn't going to happen this time, with this family or this birth, but maybe..........it will happen next time, with her friend, or her second baby or..........maybe the change will be my own children who live these births with me and ask questions and learn?????


Now to round off an exceptionally long ramble today..........more of a hike than a ramble........
..we have our good friends coming over to stay with us again in March this year. We have decided that we are all going to go up to Niagara together..........woohoo road trip!! I am so excited. It is funny, we actually have our trip to Arizona BEFORE then, but I am all psyched about this trip!! I don't know what it is about road trips that are so much fun?? I think it
stems back to my childhood when our parents would drive to France. We would pack the
car the night before and then get a really really early crossing, so we would have to get up at
say 2am in the morning, which to my sister and I, was such an adventure. This has the same thrill.........all holed up in a car, on the road, taking time to relax and chat..........


Sorry, that was me being hit by reality!!

Three smalls holed up for a 6 hour trip.......... ?????????????

We have finally relented and looked into getting a DVD player for the car. There are only so many road I-spy and numberplate games you can play with a 6, 4 and 2 year old, only so much crowd control or negotiation I can do from the front seat with at twisted neck. Borders has no more dot to dot books left and I simply cannot let I. have a free reign in close proximity to a marker or pencil in the car for longer than 30seconds and I run out of songs after 2 hours, oh and I think maintaining my sanity might have to fit in there somewhere too!!! So see, a downward spiral, I start on the road to bad mommadom..........and finish with buying a square nanny!!

So this is dedicated to all of you bad mommas out there who have not yet had coffee this morning, have been woken more than once in the night by small offspring wanting you to fight dragons under the bed, have turned the TV on for half an hour because you have run out of "earth-mothery" ideas for the day and it isn't even noon, have fed them last night's take away for breakfast because you have forgotten to get *milk,*bread*cereal*food of any sort at all,
have said "Not Now Bernard!" or "In a minute" more than once today and then forgotten totally about it until small said child has (delete as appropriate)
*wet pants,*been late for school or other event, *has taken to telling the dog all about their story/adventure/plans to eliminate mummy if she doesn't take notice, *cut their hair,*painted the walls with permanent marker *add your own!!
Mamas, today - I salute you with tomato ketchup stained fingers!!

Note to self - Tomorrow is another day and I will be better tomorrow (after a PROPER night of sleep!)


pansy said...

Love the picture of the mennonite buggy - fear you won't see this in Niagara. You need to go as far as Connie's and that is another 70 miles or more. Are you going to confess as to the cause of T feeling so poorly?

Anonymous said...

(((hugs))) hun, I'm a fully paid up member to bad mumma's club too - the girls had (hang head in shame) chocolate in their snack box for school the other day as I had nada in the cupboards..... as for the 6 hour road trip - pahh, small fry, we're doing a 11 hour trip to france in a few months. Catch up with you soon. Julie (the spanish one!)

The Beehive said...

Julie, you are a glutton for it. You should come over here and hire a Winnebago if you reckon you're up to it lol!