There is a viscious rumour that I reside with George and Mildred.
Well, he is George and I am Mildred!
Snuggled up at 10pm with a cup of peppermint tea.
He is playing Sudoku - or should that be "brain training for the elderly" on his electronic game thingy.
There is a companionable silence!
The university students in my current antenatal class, don't get my jokes about Friends (they were only 8 i suppose!)
They wince and roll their eyes when I talk about "CD players".
The gym requires the wearing of an iron hammock to restrain the boulders from avalanching.
My favourite shoes look like they met Jesus in the cobblers.
Taking off make up requires exact precision to extrapolate the gubbins from between the crevases caused by the Rift Valley permanently etching it's whereabouts around my eyes!
Of course, the mini Beehives are dutifully trained to respond "but you're only 21 mummy!" ad infintum, or at least until my ear trumpet gets blocked!
But, all is not totally lost. There is hope on the horizon. I am off to a gig on Thursday night! I'm going to be living it large down wiv da youf! Well, okay, not really, so I'm going to see Ani diFranco whom most of you probably haven't heard of and the rest of you are aware that she's drinking more peppermint tea in bed than I am but...who cares!! She rocks, she's ace and I'm going to a gig at the O2 in Glasgow!
However, I have told him to kill me if I request ear plugs, complain my feet hurt or ask for Ovaltine before I retire to bed!!