Friday, August 18, 2006


This is a fabulous restaurant in Bridgeport! I went there last night with M. She is an amazing woman. She teaches at the school and has been doing so since it first began some 18 years ago. She is also a birth activist and along with her work, tries to encourage attachment and child led development through her work at the school as well as the promotion of natural birth. She is one of these women who knows everyone, has read so much literature and yet is not forward or loud. She invited a midwife friend of hers whom she had wanted to hook me up with for sometime. This I much expected, being a friend of M's, was so interesting to listen to. She has left practice now after many many years and now lectures at one of the great universities in the area. It was interesting to hear her perspectives having been a homebirth midwife, now to be on the other side of the field and actually having some (perhaps?) influence on the birthing community by teaching the next generation of CNM's. The thing is, I think, with birth in the US and anywhere where it is OB led, people are frightenend. OB's are frightenend of not being in control of something that is uncontrollable and shouldn't BE controlled! It is like trying to control a fire or will take the path it wants to take. I also think - you can kick my arse for saying this, but, here, particularly, there is still a huge male influence within medical text books and curriculums within the birthing world even if OB's are female, they have read and learned from the same school of thought and men are far more technocratic than most women, it is a fact, they like instructions!!! In summary, birth has been housed in the wrong category, along with illness, in hospitals where most people are saved or cured, what is there to save or cure about a low risk birth? But technology, even a monitor, is there to let you know when things are wrong and thus sending out the wrong message! There is a need for a judicious use of technology during birth of course, babies are saved and so are mothers, but equally there are many more births that are intervened in or c'sections performed that are unecessary..........Okay, you can wake up now, rant over!

Anyway, back to this restaurant - It is an old boat house overlooking the harbour and was run by more M's (if you know what I mean - wise women!). There is no waiter service and it is totally veggie and organic. The food was amazing and the ambiance - well, I am surprised people ever leave!
M, being M, never actually got directly to the point as to why she wanted to talk to me - she sent a cryptic message earlier in the week, so I was guessing she had some plans up her sleeve! but then that is what I like about M so much! There doesn't need to be an agenda - life goes on, another pal calls, so hell, let's invite her too and see what comes out of the evening! So I am non the wiser for M's plans as yet, but am better off for a new location for an evening out and have two new cookbooks to boot!!

Today the boys did their plays for the parents at the drama group. They have had so much fun. W. has actually asked to go regularly, so I may have to see whether it would fit around the hectic after school schedules! I am contemplating getting a regular babysitter who might help for a couple of hours after school two nights a week and then be a regular sitter for Friday or Saturdays too. That way, I can be a taxi without having to take all the kids, both boys can do stuff AND T can do his homework under supervision if I have to take W somewhere else. Think this might be a plan!

Funny how things crop up in a day though. I have been asked the same question twice today, by two different people. T. asked this morning what I missed from the UK. His list consisted of Legoland, Fruit shoots and his friend D. Which, I guess for a 6 year old is a pretty predictable list. W. apparently missed his grandma (hear that mum!!) and that was it - oh, and the swimming pool she took them to. But then, thinking about it, what exactly is he going to remember about the UK, he was only 20 months when we left. As for me, I think, apart from family and friends, I miss familiarity. I was trying to explain this to Aimee later in the day when she asked too: I see it as this; familiarity is the not having to explain what you meant, the knowing without asking how a system works, the understanding of certain words. I think in summary it is what comes with being brought up in a country and culture that you can never get (well, that might be argueable after many years) in another country.

Okay, I really need to get on, I have to make sure we have the car loaded, download today's pics. and then probably cook some dinner for the kids. I wonder what they will make of marinated tofu and chinese cabbage - I can see that will fit in the category of "uuurrrgh and Yuk"!!! Ah well, I try..........*sigh*

1 comment:

pansy said...

Oh W, I miss you too (and your brother and sister) Still, with the way the weather feels here, Christmas can't be far away!