Monday, August 21, 2006

What the hell are cleats?

It is always friend that puts you in a better place! I had an email from a friend in Belgium yesterday telling me how despite the rain - I had indeed now experienced Glastonbury!!!!! True! I feel a little better for that - thanks Mandy! I was never "allowed" to go to Glastonbury and then later on, couldn't afford to go aahh - feel sorry for me! I remember one year at school, a group of friends all went down in someone's mini I think it was (no this was not the 60's, I just recall she had a small car like a mini, perhaps it was a metro, I dunno - the years have greyed the images!). Funny that I should think of this as one of the group also e-mailed yesterday. He and his partner are currently working for VSO in Uganda and also have a great website set up if you want to read it. It certainly makes for humbling reading!

Yesterday we went out to a very nice restaurant for lunch. We sat - literally - on the dock of the bay! watching the gin brigade taking their yachts out. We then walked around the ship yard, which was interesting as they had an old paddle steamer and a junk in for repairs! I think both of which were probably floating nightclubs now, but still, it was interesting for the boys.

Speaking of whom, they are off to soccer camp today for the morning. They are dressed in their kit and so unbelievably excited. You know, I think this MUST be a trait men are born with, to get so enthused about kicking a ball around.........I mean........come on's ONLY A GAME!!!!!! (ducks and runs for cover!!!!!). I wonder if they will still be as keen at lunchtime when they have been running around in the heat and (knowing T) getting utterly frustrated with the fact the ball isn't that easy to control! Apparently they can wear cleats.........well, they could if I knew what the hell they were? Anyone enlighten me?

I. on the otherhand is expanding her vocab. daily. She is stringing together short two or three word sentences and along with her sign language, we are conversing really well. She likes to practise new words and her current one, which is driving me crazy, is "truck" - only you can pretty much guess the problem I have here, she confuses tr and f, so she will stand and yell loudly whenever she sees one, wherever she is *blush* - I really must teach her "lorry" instead!!!!!!!!!!

I am starting to think about plans for my new challenge this year. I want to run a drop in once a week for mums to meet and chat in comfort, be able to breastfeed and ask questions and just get out. I did think about it last year, but wasnt' so sure as to the lay of the land so to speak. Now I have been here a year, I feel a little more secure of reactions and responses to this and am going to look for a venue. I think there is a REAL need here. Women are sent home after the birth and then there is no more contact until their 6 week check up. Often women don't leave the house, they are frightened, isolated and also don't think they should - where is there to go after all? Postpartum depression rates here are as high as 20 - 25% which is astounding. There is no organisation like the NCT who make contact with these women, put them in contact with others etc. I am starting the ball rolling by organising a pot luck picnic for all the moms I have worked with this year. Let's see what their response turns out to be!

Two weeks after the 36 hour marathon when i thought I was without any clients for a while and I am seeing a new client on Wednesday evening for a Sept 6th EDD and have been hired via e-mail without even conversing with the couple for a Jan 31st ish EDD !! Funny really! I love my work, but each new client comes to me with a different game plan and it makes me wonder what makes them tick. To hire a doula without ever talking to them, makes me think - they have a lot of guts, they are confident they know what they want, my website sells me well or.......they don't really know what they want but a doula is the latest fashion accessory!

That may sound a little harsh, but I find it hard to digest that you can spend, what could be 36 + hours in a vulnerable and intimate situation with someone you hardly know. I rang her today, just so I could hear her voice. I wanted to know that she "sounded okay" does that make sense? The more vague clients are, the harder it actually is to serve them as you don't understand what motivates them. The Sept. 6th couple, perhaps have not found anyone to date, or......haven't thought about their birth until the last minute - hmmm whatever happened to being responsible for your birth? I was thinking today about this, trying to be interviewed over the phone for this couple; you know, whatever most people say about natural childbirth, most people don't realise or exercise their options and desires until birth # 2. I think about my most "activist" type of friends, those that campaign for homebirthing, extended breastfeeding, attachment parenting etc etc. Most of these women had a medicalised first birth or bottle fed their first and learned from that point on. Point is, and I am not giving up here, but, how much can we genuinely expect from clients and their first births? Women are on a different curve with #1, inductions are higher, there is less lea-way between waters breaking and pitocin started with #1. I suppose what I am trying to put out there, is how do I/we manage to help women achieve a natural unintervened birth with #1 when these issues are against the situation???

Right gotta go, the toddler is throwing her perogative now!


pansy said...

I don't know how you survived to grow up and do all these things with such a hard childhood. I wonder if I. will be allowed to go off to the other side of the country when she is 15 or so. Shall I remind you of this later on??

The Beehive said...

Ah yes, but then we all know that "they f*** you up, your parents, they don't mean to, but they do!"
Of course I. won't be allowed to go at 15 (I wasn't that young though - be honest!!) just as she won't be allowed a social life or a boyfriend until she is 36!